


Are You My Mistress?

by Bace_Jeleren



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, BDSM, Explicit Sexual Content, Liliana Vess is a sub and nobody can change my mind, Multi, Rape/Non-con later in the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2019-10-27 05:37:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 79,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17760818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bace_Jeleren/pseuds/Bace_Jeleren
Summary: Liliana and Marchesa are ex-girlfriends who both work in the same office, and when Marchesa receives the promotion Liliana wanted, it's almost too much for the later to take. However, after an encounter one night that exposes one of Marchesa's well-kept secrets, Liliana is exposed to a whole new world she originally knew nothing about. She quickly finds herself well in over her head as she learns things about herself and her own feelings about the woman she thought she hated. Will their journy together into the dark world of bdsm lead to a reformed bond, or will it end in utter heartbreak?





	1. Promotion

**Liliana**

"I'm fucking pissed," are my first words as I plunk down into my seat.

"So you've said five... six times?" Selvala retorts as she sits beside me, sounding a bit on the annoyed side but I'm way too angry to care. I could say I was pissed off hundreds of times, if only it would actually satisfy me.

"Pretty sure it was at least six." The third and final member of our group, Jace, corrects her, sitting himself at the opposite end of the round table. "Could have been more, I didn't follow you two into the bathroom back at work."

The three of us sit at the usual coffee shop- a quaint little set up just down the street from our office. It's the perfect place to go after work, grab a latte and bitch about everyone else at work- which is frequently, for us anyway: three absolute loners from the same office building.

Selvala works in the same section as me- a cruel beauty if I've ever seen one. Everything about her features is sharp, from her eyes to her face and to her manicure, and it does a fine job of keeping people away. We wound up on the same project once, years ago, and wound up bonding because we hated the same people in the office. Normally, the amount of vile things she has to say about the people we work with would eventually chase people away, but her dark brand of loathing she can have for people is just my style, and I feed off of it like a sponge.

Jace, on the other hand, works on a totally different floor, and we know each other from totally different circumstances. He has a decently paying job- a position that anyone would admit is an important one, but he never really shed his demeanor of looking like an intern. Down to his cheap suits, messy hair and crooked tie, he looks like the type of guy who you make fetch you coffee for hardly any money at all. We met at a company party when I was still a new hire, fresh faced and not full of exhaustion and spite, and we wound up hitting it off, strangely enough. Not to say we dated very long- only long enough for him to introduce me to a few new cafes and restaurants before things got stale. It was a clean break, all things considered, compared to certain older relationships anyway, and once it seemed that neither of us were willing to look for a new place to have coffee after work, we eventually made nice and became the loosest definition of friends.

"You two don't understand, I wanted that position so _bad_!" I moan as I lean back in my chair. "I tried, I _really_ did- you have no idea how much ass I allowed myself to kiss once I heard Brago was retiring!"

Brago was our old boss- an aging, old fashioned man who you could easily manipulate just by unbuttoning a few extra buttons on your blouse. I'd been moving in on his position the moment we all caught wind he was planning on retiring, and the way I waited on that man hand and foot you would have thought I genuinely loved my job or was trying to get myself a sugar daddy. To say it was humiliating would have been an understatement.

"Guess _you-know-who_ kissed a lot more." Jace said with a roll of his eyes.

I restrain a snarl as I remember the meeting from this morning when Brago made the big announcement. I'd drawn close enough to smell his cheap cologne, a plastic grin on my face and a plate of store-bought cake in my hand, waiting with bated breath for the announcement. But then, he had turned to _her_ instead- the bane of my existence, the snake who I have to work with and see on a daily basis- the _absolute bitch_!

"Marchesa played dirty, I just know it. There's no way she deserves Brago's position, sitting all smug in his office like she owns the damn building... I bet she fucking slept with him." I mutter, my words so bitter I can taste them. "She certainly doesn't have the actual talent."

"I've been meaning to ask..." Selvala begins, clearly picking her words carefully. "What in the hell did Marchesa even do to you to make you hate her this much? Take credit for something you did? Ruin a dress? Steal a man?"

"It's a little simpler than that." A voice chuckles as the speaker sets my latte in front of me. I turn my head to spy Nissa, easily looming over me with her monstrous height with a mischievous grin stretched from ear to ear. I give her a warning look, but she continues, eyes focused on me instead of the others as she pulls away to serve their drinks as well. "She's her _ex_."

"Whoa! How come this is the first time I've heard of this!?" Selvala exclaims as she leans in, very interested in a hot new piece of gossip. "The biggest bitch in the office is your old flame and you never even told me!?"

"I don't tell _anybody_ , Selvala, it's old news." I groan as I lift my latte to my lips. "We dated back in college, its totally irrelevant."

"Irrelevant enough for you to still despise her, even now?" Jace asks, raising an eyebrow. I remain tight lipped, trying my best to try and enjoy my drink that's hot enough to scald my lips.

"Well, clearly Lili doesn't want to talk about it- but _I_ had to live through that whole ordeal, so I'm an open book." Nissa chuckles. "Perks of being an old college friend: I have a lot of dirt on Liliana. She dragged me through all kinds of hell when we were younger."

"Nissa, I swear to god-"

"What happened!? Why did they break up?" Selvala cuts me off, letting her coffee grow cold in exchange for learning about my mysterious past from college.

"It was honestly really sad- they were the perfect couple, from what I remember. Liliana and Marchesa perfectly complimented one another, so it was a real shame when it all came crashing down." Nissa explains. "They went from being attached at the hip to hating each other's guts in a single night, and I was left to pick up the pieces and keep Liliana from drinking herself into a coma. It was an incredible fallout. Liliana doesn't seem it, but she's a _very_ dramatic person when it comes to heartbreak."

"Look, not all of us can marry our college sweethearts, alright?" I mutter, tossing a quick look over to Nissa's wife, Chandra, who is busy behind the bar with what seems to be a particularly intricate piece of latte art judging by the attention she's giving it. "Some of us find out that the people we love are stone-cold bitches who will drop you like yesterday's garbage without any explanation."

"And now she's your boss." Selvala says, partially under her breath like she'd meant to keep the comment to herself.

"Yup, and _now_ I'm leaving." I grumble as I stand up from my chair. Usually our after-work coffee meet-ups are a lot longer than this, but right now I am way too pissed off to want to sit around and gossip. All I'd talk about is how much I despise Marchesa, anyway. "Gives me a lot more time to get ready for the office party tonight, anyway."

"You're going? They're celebrating Marchesa's promotion, I figured you'd avoid that scene like the plague." Jace says in surprise.

"I'm not going for her sake, trust me, I'm going to stay very far away from her." I assure him as I collect my things. "But the last thing I want to do is deny myself the free booze."

**Marchesa**

In a crowd of people come to celebrate Brago's retirement and my promotion, I couldn't feel any more empty. I can't even enjoy a decent buzz as I clutch my half-empty drink in my hand, excusing myself from yet another conversation of people giving me near-empty congratulatory words. They don't know why I suddenly put all of my efforts into trying to earn this promotion- why I suddenly had the motivation and the time to crack down and actually play seriously for once. I needed the distraction, I needed the satisfaction that I was worth something... and all it got me was probably one of the fiercest glares from Liliana I have seen in years, and that's all I can focus on. Not the alcohol, not the party, not my co-workers whose names I hardly know, all I can focus on is Liliana's very apparent rage when Brago made the announcement.

I don't hate Liliana, but she _clearly_ hates me. It's just something I've come to accept back in college and now, since we wound up working at the same company. Normally her ire is easy enough to avoid, and I can forget all about college and all about the fights and the tears, but in the moment it all came rushing back, and all of my efforts to try and hurl myself into my work were almost completely destroyed.

Nobody in this room knows I had been in a relationship. Nobody knows it recently ended either. All everyone knows is that I'm the new section head, so I need to act the part, but hardly an hour into the party and my smile is already getting exhausting to keep. I knock back the rest of my drink and immediately need another one.

"There's the woman of the hour!"A booming voice calls out, stopping my beeline for the bar, even though I want nothing more than to go and get myself something twice and large and twice as strong as the drink I just had- now even more so. Brago himself half-walks, half-waddles over to me, and throws his arm around me like we're best of friends, and not people who just happened to work at the same office. Hell, we had hardly spoken outside of the first few days I'd been hired until I knuckled down and muscled my way into his former job.

A few other people who I only half-know gather around us, and I struggle my way through the conversation while I'm hyper-focused on how close Brago's hand is to my boob. I smile and laugh and nod along, all the while looking for an exit. I scan the crowd looking- no searching for anything- as I laugh along with another one of Brago's unfunny old jokes I've heard time and again.

And then I see it- or rather _her_ \- just outside the windows of the lobby, the very picture of drunk, trying and failing to lose a guy she wants nothing to do with. Hardly functioning and not glaring daggers into me, I question for a second just who exactly it is, but I figure it out, as I catch her desperately looking back into the building: Liliana- drunk off her ass and unable to lose the guy tailing her. I watch in surprise as he reaches out, and grabs her wrist, and instinct, for better or worse, kicks in.

"S-sorry, I need to go!" I say abruptly, unable to come up with some sort of clever excuse as I pull away from Brago and bid him and the others goodbye with a quick hand wave and a shrug. I push through the crowd to the exit, unsure of why I'm even doing this for the woman who makes no secret about the fact she hates my guts and probably wishes I could get hit by the bus on my way to work. But there's something inside me that remembers that time back in college when she didn't think I was lower than dirt.

_I'm lonely, I'm vulnerable, so I save my ex from some rando on the street- simple as that._

"Hey, Liliana! There you are!" I call the second I walk outside. Liliana herself hardly reacts to this, but the guy certainly does, perking up and turning around and immediately letting her go. I, myself, straighten up and brush the hair out of my face, putting on a confident mask as I walk over to the two of them. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"This your friend?" The guy asks, but I simply brush past him, giving him a mere cold, passing glance as I go to Liliana's side. Now that we're close I can see she's somehow managed to lose her shoes, and they're nowhere to be seen. She mumbles something unintelligible and reaches out and grabs my arm and I throw her pursuer one last, unfeeling look, just to make sure he knows where he isn't wanted. He grumbles, mutters the usual "bitch" as is expected, but turns his back and shuffles away. Only once he's well enough away do I finally allow myself to heave a sigh.

"God, getting drunk at an office party, there are no lows that you won't sink to, huh?" I ask her, expecting some sort of snappy comment in return and for her to remember, in her drunken haze, that she hates me. However, instead, she mumbles to herself before resting her head on my shoulder, her warm breath hitting my neck. _She reeks of alcohol._

"Wanted... that promotion..." I hear her say between words absolutely garbled and clumsy. She stumbles on her own two feet, even though she's discarded her heels and is using me as a crutch. I look inside the building, back at the people who don't give a shit about me and my accomplishment, and then back to Liliana, who gently nuzzles me, like we're back to being college sweethearts. Both of these things are making me incredibly uncomfortable, but I can only leave one behind with a clear conscience.

With a sigh I take Liliana by the hand and hail a taxi- which is the easy part. The hard part is trying to pry an address from Liliana's intoxicated brain. She gives it a legitimate try at first, but then she almost instantly completely gives up and actively refuses, like where her apartment is is some sort of well-guarded, top-secret information. Maybe she just doesn't want me knowing where she lives. I can see the taxi driver giving the both of us an annoyed, impatient glance through his rear-view mirror, and I am forced to make a choice.

I give him my own home address.

Looking out the window, I can feel Liliana cuddling up next to me, muttering something about warmth that honestly makes no sense. Her legs brush against mine as one of her hands unintentionally rests against my thigh. It must be an interesting sight for our driver, since meanwhile I'm sitting absolutely statue-still, refusing to take advantage of someone who is drunk off their ass and _especially_ someone who's my bitter, angry ex-girlfriend from college. I know I did the right thing, but at the same time, I feel like I've made some sort of grave mistake. Taking a drunk girl home sounds like the beginnings of some sort of ill-meaning conquest, but in reality it's just awkward.

We arrive at my town home after what feels like an eternity of gently trying to keep Liliana from drunkenly groping me and I tip our driver handsomely. Liliana mutters something, asking about where we are as I help her up the stairs.

"You can rest here until you're sober, but I doubt either of us thinks staying the night would be a very good idea." I tell her. "And next week you can go back to hating me and we can pretend this never happened."

"'M sorry..." I hear her mumble as I struggle to unlock my door.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too." I grunt as I guide her inside. There's a guest bedroom upstairs, but I doubt I'd be able to lug Liliana up them. It's hardly as hospitable as I'd like, but I wind up leading her into my living room, flipping on the lights and lying her gently down onto the couch. It's only now that I can get a good look at her as I brush her hair that had messily fallen in her face out of the way. Even when she's absolutely plastered, I can't help but think to myself that she's still cute- and it's nice to look her in the eyes and not have her shooting death-beams in my direction. She simply looks up at me sleepily, as if she's still trying to piece together what exactly is going on.

"Here, I'll get you some water." I sigh as I begin to rise, only for her to reach out and grab my hand. I resist the urge to pull away and look back at her, and it looks like she's on the verge of shedding tears.

"Why... why did you break up... with me?" She asks, her words slurred and near unrecognizable.

"I... That's in the past, it's over. We... we don't need to have this conversation." I tell her firmly as I tell myself over and over that she's drunk and that she'd never actually ask me such a thing with such a sad, vulnerable look in her eyes. This is the alcohol talking, not Liliana.

"B-but..." She stammers. "I... I want to know..."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers.

"I... I didn't want to hurt you, alright? There's a lot of me you didn't know about, and I knew you wouldn't be able to handle. I'm sorry I let you down hard, but I'd rather you hate me than be... afraid of me." I pause, waiting for her to pry, but when I'm only met with silence I turn to find that Liliana has absolutely passed out, hanging over the edge of the couch while still clutching my hand. I restrain myself from heaving as big of a sigh as I want to as I gently pry her off of me and roll her back onto the couch.

"You weren't ready... trust me." I whisper as I run my fingers gently along her cheek. "You weren't ready for the real Marchesa."

**Liliana**

I wake up with a headache and an upset stomach to an unfamiliar ceiling- scratch that, an unfamiliar _room_. Nothing gets you up quicker more than waking up in a stranger's house, and even though it made me feel nauseous, I shoot up to my feet like I'm ready to fend myself from an attacker. Not that I'm sober enough to throw a punch, I'm at least confident enough that I can at least run fast enough to find an exit.

The last thing I remember was alcohol- a lot of it. I remember people talking to me, but I can't remember what they said. I remember resting my phone on the counter at the bar and it turns out, upon close inspection, that I left it there- along with my _shoes_!? I'd feel a lot more embarrassed if I wasn't so worried about where exactly I had woken up. At least, no one is around when I wake up, so I don't have to fight my way out, and even though I left my phone, it seems I had the peace of mind, even with all the alcohol, to hold onto my purse. _That's right, Lili, just look at the positives while you look for a means of escape._

It's someone's living room, by the looks of it- a really nice place, too. Everything looks new and not to mention expensive- not like my apartment, where almost everything I own is a hand-me-down. I decide to inspect further, leaving the safety of the living room to inspect the hall, opening up door after door in hopes I'll either find an exit, or at least a bathroom. Instead, all I find is a couple of closets.

I continue on, throwing open another door to at least find a room instead on a small, cramped space full of jackets and boots. Curiosity gets the better of me as I reach around until I find a light switch- but, instead of finding a bathroom I find... my brain can't even process it, either from the shock or the alcohol. But it's a room full of all sort of chains and whips and contraptions that look like they're made for torture. My mouth hangs open as I stand in the doorway, afraid I've come across some sort of terrible dungeon where I'll meet my untimely end.

However, before I can take a step inside, someone grabs my wrist and jerks me back and I can't help but scream, like it was the last thing I'd ever be able to do. A hand flies over my mouth, and I'm certain I'm going to die here- only to come face with face with Marchesa, of all people, giving me a look so furious it's enough to shut me up. She looks like she wants to start yelling at me, but her quivering lips can't find the words. I struggle away from her hand so at least I can speak, even though I don't know what in the fuck to even say in this sort of situation. _"Nice dungeon you've got there"_!?

"What... the _fuck_!?" Is what I wind up finally coming up with, which is acceptable.

"...You're up." She finally manages to say with words as cold as ice as she reaches out and quickly pulls the door I had just opened closed- but the damage has been done! _You can't just close the door and pretend what I had just seen didn't actually exist_!

"Seriously, what the _fuck_!? What was that!?" I gasp, yanking away from her grip and stumbling backward.

"I don't think it's any of your business- I'm calling you a taxi." She says robotically, but her words hardly sate me and now it's my turn to reach out and grab her by the wrist.

"Tell me, or else I'm telling everyone else back at the office!" I threaten. "Something tells me... you don't want that."

Marchesa growls- a proper, almost animal-like sound as she clutches her face in one of her hands, like I've just given her an incredible headache, and I can see her gritting her teeth. I almost expect her to strike me as she turns around, but instead she's blushing so much even her ears are turning red, and she can't even look me in the eye. She's so uncomfortable I can't help but mirror her as I slowly let go of her hand, my face growing warm from blushing as well.

"It's... It's personal... it's..." She stammers, shuffling where she stands. "I-I'm sure you've heard of BDSM before..."

" _Holy shit_..." I gasp as I turn back to the closed door. "So that was all-"

"Look, if you're sober enough, you need to _leave_." She interrupts me impatiently as she quickly turns her tail and flees. "I'm going to call you a taxi and-" She pauses and turns to face me once again. "If you tell anyone back at the office- _anyone at all-_ believe me when I say I can get you fired before you can even say 'ball gag'."

"When would I even say-"

" _Just get out, Liliana_!" She snaps, still blushing even through her glare. She points in the direction of what I assume to be her front door, refusing to break eye contact with me until I start slowly shuffling in that direction. I look to her one last time as we pass, but she's already taken out her cell phone, acting like I don't even exist. My thoughts are swimming, but I can't sate my curiosity. All I can do is turn my back on her and head outside, plopping myself down on her stoop as I wait for my ride. I half-expect her to come outside and wait with me, but she never does, and I wait for the taxi alone with nothing but my thoughts.

"What the fuck...?" I mutter to myself, "What the... _fuck_?"

* * *

 

When I get home, I hardly even sleep. I'm only able to close my eyes and rest for maybe thirty minutes before I give up on an entire evening of tossing and turning and waiting for the hangover to slowly settle in. All I can think about it that place I had found, tucked away in Marchesa's home and the secrets it held. All those little bits and bobs and intricate devices I knew nothing about but... _intrigues_ me.

" _I'm sure you've heard about BDSM before..."_ She had said, and of course I _had_ but... I've never really actually bothered to look into it. But now it was on my brain, and despite how much I hate it, I can't get it out. My curiosity had been piqued, and now my brain refuses to simply let things go. I have to know more- _want_ to know more. Something inside me is fixated on it.

So, instead of trying and failing to sleep, I instead pop a few painkillers and decide to do my own research, basking in the bright, harsh glow of my laptop in the darkness of my room. And as much as I would like to say I do a lot of deep research, reading a lot of articles and educating myself... I immediately just find porn. It's a lot easier to find and I quickly find reading to give me a headache. So I go with the next best thing, find a questionable website that hosts the stuff, sit back and marathon everything I can find, like I'm watching the cheesy soaps me and Sevala indulge in on the weekends.

At first, all I can think of was how painful it looks. I cringe my way through the first hour like I'm getting physically hurt. It doesn't seem all that sexy to me, it just looks like torture. That is, until I stumble across a video that leads me down a particularly enticing rabbit hole- a video starring a beautiful dominatrix and another girl breathlessly begging for mercy. The way she exacts her dominance over the other girl is almost hypnotic- I don't even think I've blinked. I stare back at the screen, feeling as if I'm the one she's standing over, gently dragging a riding crop between my thighs, whispering into my ear and holding me hopelessly, tightly captive. Without even realizing it, my hand has drifted down between my legs as I lose myself in fantasy.

I can't put myself into the role of the beautiful-yet-threatening woman behind the mask, but I am able to slip into the roll of the girl bound and gagged beneath her, completely at her mercy. Commanding me, punishing me, rewarding me... something about it just seems to stick, and before I know it I'm off, no longer focused on the literal porn now playing at the foot of my bed and instead on the images my mind is cooking up all on its own.

With one hand going to town between my legs, I reach up and grasp at one of my breasts with the other, toying with my nipple between my fingers. Holding back a moan I slowly slip a finger inside, my inner walls wet and sloppy. I picture being led into her room, stripped completely bare with nothing to hide. I imagine her touching me, starting the game with light touches and pinches and nibbles until I start to go crazy. I want more- and in the haze of passion I wonder if I have any rope just lying around my house so I could at least get a feel for being bound- held captive by someone else. There's only so much my mind can do- I want to experience and feel instead of simply fantasizing.

But still, as I lie in bed, listening to the moans of the actors on screen, and the sound of a whip meeting flesh and the gentle, jingle of chains, I don't think I've ever felt so high on pleasure. I want more, I need more, and as I draw closer and closer to climax my fantasy domme is finally given a face, and I know _exactly_ who it is.

I moan out loud and arch my back as I come harder than I think I have in recent memory, a familiar name on my lips as I lose myself in the throes of my orgasm.

"Marchesa!"

* * *

 

"Are you okay, Lili, you don't look so good?" Chandra asks as she serves me my coffee. Late into the Saturday afternoon, I finally manage to crawl out of my bed and wander down to Nissa's coffee shop. I'm honestly surprised, with how much my mind was wandering, that I was able to find my way, but here I am, spacing out at my table, unable to get last night's fantasy out of my mind. I blush, like Chandra could read my thoughts if she gets too close, and she gives me a look like I've just made an incredibly idiotic face- which I probably did.

"I-I just... drank a lot last night. I'm still getting over my hangover..." I excuse as I exhaustively rest my head in my hand. It's a half-truth, I did drink way too much the night before, and my hangover _had_ been absolute torture to get through this morning, but really my focus is on trying not to shamefully turn myself on in public over my fantasies that refuse to stop playing in my head. Something in my brain desires more, and it isn't going to give me peace until I get it.

"Yeesh, still getting over losing that promotion to Marshesa?" She chuckles, taking the fact the shop is hardly busy at all to pull up a chair and sit beside me.

Chandra is incredibly nice- you show her even the smallest kindness and she's suddenly your new best friend. She compliments Nissa perfectly, who you have to pry layer after layer away until you can actually get something genuine out of her. Chandra's personality is as bright and loud as her red, red hair and her smile is innocent enough to make even _me_ melt. Whenever she's around, I always find myself thinking that I'm glad Nissa found a girl like her.

"Yeah... fucking sucks..." I mutter, brain bouncing between the Marchesa it has cooked up and the real woman who had practically thrown me out of her home the night before. "Maybe I'll see if I can get transferred somewhere so I don't have to work under her... or get fired."

"Yikes, let's hope it doesn't come to that!" Chandra says with an uncomfortable laugh as I take a long, slow sip of my coffee. The bitter liquid burns the roof of my mouth.

"Yeah..." I sigh before looking over to her curiously. She picks up on my staring immediately, as she adorably cocks her head to one side.

"What is it?"

"...Do you know anything about BDSM?" I ask, and she reacts like I've pinched her. She jumps in surprise, giving me a baffled look as a scarlet hue appears on her cheeks.

"Wh-why do you ask!?" She questions me, not bothering to hide how uncomfortable I've made her. "I-I mean, I know enough from watching movies and stuff but... why in the world are you asking!?"

I realize how suspicious I must seem by just asking out of the blue for no reason. I can't just tell her I'm suddenly overcome by playing out fantasies in my head where the woman who I hate, who is now literally my boss, dominates me sexually. I'm pretty sure Chandra would implode and I would die from embarrassment and it would leave a horrible mess for Nissa to clean up.

"N-no reason... you just seem like, y'know, the _type_..." I try to come up with an excuse, but I've only dug myself deeper as Chandra's blush worsens.

"H-hey now, wait just a minute!" She stammers. "W-what makes you think I-I give off that kind of-!"

"Well now, this seems like a lively conversation, mind if I join in?" Nissa, who appears beside Chandra, asks with a laugh as both of us straighten up, like we've been caught red-handed doing something we shouldn't. She rests her hand on Chandra's shoulder- it's the tiniest little thing, but now I'm seeing it in a new light, in the haze of spending my entire morning pleasuring myself to BDSM porn. Perhaps Chandra isn't embarrassed because she isn't into that sort of thing, but instead...

" _Holy shit_ ," comes out my lips, under my breath without me even realizing until I've actually said it. Chandra's blush deepens and Nissa looks at both of us like we're speaking in code.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry... my headache's just really bad, that's all." I lie. "I think I should lay off the alcohol for a while."

* * *

 

And, while I did lie off the alcohol, I certainly didn't lighten up on other, certain indulgences. My entire weekend was spent doing a total BDSM deep-dive, locked away in my apartment like some sort of recluse. Research led to just mindlessly watching porn, which turned into me pleasuring myself, and it was a vicious cycle that ends with me realizing in the elevator up to the office that I might have actually broken my brain. I panic as the numbers of each floor go up and up and up, unsure if I'll even be able to look Marchesa in the eyes- if I see her, anyway.

Maybe, by some miracle, she'll be sick, and I can at least go through one day of work not being haunted by all of the fantasies I'd cooked up over the weekend. I'd be able to get my work done, have coffee like normal, go home and indulge in my secret fantasies in the privacy of my- _fuck, no, self, stop! This has to stop!_

As I chastise myself over my lewd thoughts that refuse to even give me a moment's peace, the elevator dings and the doors slide open- and I _immediately_ want to die. Marchesa is literally right there, her attention on her phone before she turns her eyes up to look at me, and she doesn't look at all pleased to see me either. In fact it looks like she just smelled something particularly strange (and I wonder if it's me).

She's wearing clothes that make her look a lot more official, definitely trying very, very hard to look the part in her suit jacket and pencil skirt that hugs her hips and thighs. I gulp, standing in front of her like a deer caught in the headlights, and she gives me the quickest glower known to man before we pass one another, her into the elevator and me off of it.

"Let's try to put this weekend behind us, shall we?" She asks in a holier-than-thou tone that, had she spoken to me like that before the weekend happened, would have honestly pissed me right the fuck off. "Things got a little out of hand, but let's approach the future a little more professionally." And, before I can even say even the slightest dig back, the doors close, and she vanishes from sight. And once she's gone, I finally release the breath I was holding the whole time.

"Wow, starting off the day with a nice helping of stone-cold-bitch, I see." Selvala, who sidles up to me, remarks as she gives the closed elevator door a glare. "She's been like this ever since she got here, and it's probably only going to get worse."

"Ugh, don't remind me..." I mutter as I shake my head, trying to calm myself down and ignore the slight tingle between my legs. At least, it seems, that my being an absolute train-wreck after a single weekend doesn't seem all that obvious to Selvala, who hands me a cup of coffee from the small cafe downstairs that I know for sure I'm going to need. "The era of bitch begins."

"Heh, I'll toast to that." She jokes as she knocks her own cup against mine. "To struggling under her reign of bitchy terror."

"Yeah... here's to struggling." I say as I take a long, slow sip of coffee that's started to grow cold.

**Marchesa**

Liliana's acting strange- stranger than usual and a lot stranger than how I thought she'd act after finding out about my... other life, outside of work. I expected awkwardness, sure, maybe even a touch of smugness over the fact she knew something deep and private about me that I had kept secret from the rest of the office. But the first time I saw her this morning, back at the elevator, the blush that had been on her cheeks had been vivid enough to catch me off guard. And it's not like I saw her scan my entire body before she stepped off the elevator, like she was searching my person for something. And that was just the beginning.

I have spied her multiple times looking into my office, when I'm there and she thinks I'm not watching. She seems a particular, tired mess today, and I keep hearing from people directly below me that her work is a little sloppier than usual. I play it off to them, saying she's probably tired and to not be too harsh on her, but it bothers the hell out of me. Maybe she's sick, judging by the multiple times she's had to excuse herself from her desk- it would certainly make sense, but that explanation just doesn't seem correct.

I wind up confronting her while she's pouring herself a cup of coffee in the break room, looking lost in thought until I speak up and tear her from her thoughts. She jumps a good few inches in the air, and looks at me like she's expecting me to be mad, or something. It's a reaction that lasts seconds before she composes herself and her gaze settles in to the usual glare, but I notice.

"Wh-what?" She asks coldly, holding her cup of coffee close to her person. "If you're here to bitch about my output today, I'm just... recovering from this weekend. I'll get it together tomorrow, so you don't have to go through the whole song and dance of acting the part of my boss."

"Excuse me, I _am_ your boss." I retort, folding my arms. "There _is_ something I need to talk about, but it's not that. You're usually a diligent worker, I know an off day when I see one." I roll my eyes.

"Okay, then what about?" Liliana asks, sounding defensive.

"Not here." I tell her quickly as other people start to file in as I eye her intensely. She straightens up, surprisingly, under my gaze. "Come by my office near the end of your shift, we'll continue this then."

"Fine." She mutters, her gaze turning down to her coffee cup. "Let's just hope this doesn't take to long- I have plans, you know."

"It shouldn't take too long." I sigh. "I promise."

* * *

 

Liliana finally pokes her head into my office, just as the sun is setting outside, casting a warm glow through the cracks in my blinds. She looks incredibly cautious, like she's expecting to be attacked, and I lean over my desk impatiently as she takes her time walking in and shutting the door. Her attention falls onto the tightly shut blinds that cover the window that looks out at the rest of the office, and her expression turns nervous.

"I want our meeting to be kept private." I explain to her.

"What, so the rest of the office doesn't watch while you lecture me?" Liliana asks, raising an eyebrow with an incredible amount of attitude. I start to respond naturally, frustration building in my chest before I hold it back and bite my tongue. I'm not here to lecture her, and I didn't call her in here to fight. This isn't a subject I want to fight about anyway.

"Look, this isn't a conversation between an employee and a boss, this is a conversation between two women who had an incredibly awkward run-in over the weekend." I sigh. "You're acting really strange, and not just like you're tired. You're acting different, especially around me. Don't think I don't notice you're forcing that glare you're giving me, so give it a rest."

Liliana's expression surprisingly softens, but she still eye's me suspiciously as she blushes.

"I want to clear the air, before things get too awkward between us, especially in a work-related setting. Surely you have some questions, and I'm here to answer them so that we can move on from all this." I continue. "I want to go back to the way things were, before you opened that door in my home and stumbled upon my secrets. So... let it all out now, I guess, I'm an open book."

"Wh...what..." Liliana gaffes, shuffling uncomfortably in place.

"Come on, there's no way you don't have any questions." I groan.

Liliana seems incredibly conflicted as she bites her lip nervously. Her gaze wanders down to the floor and the two of us remain silent, waiting for the other to speak. I can't help but be a little captivated by how nervous Liliana is, how she laces her fingers together and struggles with the simplest word. This isn't the usual Liliana, who is always at the ready with some sort of sharp retort.

"I...I want to know what exactly it is... you do..." Liliana finally speaks up, her voice wavering an incredible amount.

"What I 'do'?" I parrot, and she nods in a manner that can only be described as shy, which is a new and strange look on her. "... I'm a domme... if that's what you're asking. I play the sexually dominant role with my partners... It's not that complicated."

_God, how awkward Liliana is acting is somehow infecting me, dammit!_

"I..." Liliana speaks up before withdrawing a slight bit, as if she's regretting having spoke. "... I've been... doing my own research since then... I know enough about all that..."

"So is the fact that I do this sort of thing at all a problem, then?" I ask her and I can't help but notice her flinching slightly. Her blush deepens as she grows uncomfortably stiff, like she's being crushed by something in the air.

"I... I don't know what's wrong with me..." She finally mutters. "Ever since then I've been having these... fantasies where you... and I..." She turns away, looking overwhelmingly embarrassed. "You've _done_ something to me... Or maybe I did this to myself... I've just become curious and I can't help it... I want to know..."

There's a new-found excitement in the air as she pauses and finally picks her gaze from up off the floor- a great, exhausting achievement by how long it takes her- and looks across the room at me. She clutches at her chest and eyes me with a look so needy and desperate, it makes my heart skip a beat.

"I want to understand these feelings... I want to know if these fantasies I'm having aren't just a dumb, passing fancy or if I'm... or if I really want..." She begins to falter again. "You're the only one I know I can turn to... I hate how it's come to that but... there's only so much I can figure out for myself!"

My heart begins to flutter as my body begins to grow warm. Without really thinking, I stand up from my seat, and Liliana takes a half-step backward. It's been so long, since I threw myself into my work to try and distract myself from my loneliness, that I can't help but jump up at the opportunity to let loose something that's been bottled up inside of me for months now. Liliana stands before me, my ex-girlfriend who I thought hated my guts, willing to be that vessel, at least just this once. Something inside of me wants to feed of that curiosity, and wants to know if we really could have made our relationship work when we were younger.

"Is that so..." I say, calming myself as I step from around my desk to sit on the edge facing Liliana. "You really want to do this? I need to hear you say it, or else I won't go through with it. I want to hear you give consent."

"I... I do... even if it's just once I want to..." She says, taking an eager step forward, and then another, until we're an arm's length apart. "I want you to... so please... O-or is begging a standard in all this?"

"Hmm..." I hum quietly as I remove my shoes and extend a foot. I run my toes clad in stockings up her leg, noticing her shiver as I do so. I lift my foot higher, lifting up her skirt as my toes glide up her thigh. Finally, my foot reaches between her legs, feeling that her panties are incredibly soaked already, just from the act of coming out and asking- or perhaps she's been excited like this all day. I run my toes along her moist crotch, and she softly moans. "That depends if someone as proud as you will stoop so low as to beg."

I continue to tease her with my foot and she bites her lip, suppressing a moan as she leans in to my touch. I make sure to play with her only slightly, not touching her as hard as she wants as I reach up and run my fingers under her chin. She shivers as a wavering gasp exits her lips.

"P-please... I... I want you..." She mumbles, her even breathing slowly turning into panting. "I... I want you to..."

"You want me to... what?" I ask her with a smirk, unable to contain myself. "You've done your 'research', as you said, you probably know how this little game goes."

"Please..." She practically whispers, and gulps nervously. "... _Mistress_."

"There we go, there's a good girl." I chuckle as I pull my hand and foot away. I stand up from my desk and walk around her to the door and lock it to give us some much-needed privacy. There's definitely a thrill in doing something like this in a place as public as the office where the both of us work, but nothing would be at all hot about anyone barging in. "And now that we've established a chain of command, I'll need you to strip- down to your underwear, at least. Things will be a lot easier that way."

I walk past her again, grabbing my chair and pulling it out from behind my desk so that I can sit close by as she slowly begins the process of undressing. Her cheeks flush wildly as she takes off her jacket and slowly, button by button, undoes her blouse. She casts nervous looks my way as she does so, as if she's silently seeking approval, and I smile back at her, wordlessly coaxing her onward as she drops her blouse to the floor and begins to work on removing her skirt. She bends over as she pulls it over her hips, carefully stepping out of it and leaving it to lie with the rest of her clothes.

Ex or not, Liliana has a fantastic body, and I take in every detail as she stands before me in nothing but her underwear, lit only by the slices of sunlight streaming in from outside. I try to keep my heart from straying too far, but I can't help but remark to myself how beautiful she looks, especially now, submitting herself to me. I beckon her to come closer with a wave of my hand, and she obeys, and once she's within reach I pull her onto my lap, riding up my skirt in the process and feeling the moistness growing between her legs against my thigh as she drags herself along it.

"Good girl, now we can truly begin." I whisper into her ear. "From here on, I'll be addressing you as Lili, and you will call me Mistress- understand?" She nods at first before quickly catching on, looking almost excited as she speaks a breathless:

"Yes, Mistress."

"Very good, Lili, you're playing along like a natural." I tease as I pull my belt from around my skirt, throw it around her body and use it to pull her closer. "Now, we just need to add the final touches, and then I can put you to work."

Carefully, as not to uncomfortably pinch her, I tighten my belt around her arms, binding them to her sides. Continuing to use what I have available, I remove each of my long, black stockings and use one to tie her hands behind her back, and the other to cover her eyes as I wrap and tie it around her head. All the while, Liliana remains standing obediently still, putting up zero resistance as I bind her and rob her of her sight. In fact, her breathing quickens to a pant as she waits in anticipation for what will happen next.

"Now, normally I would gag you, but you're going to need your mouth for this next part." I explain as I press my hand against the top of her head, wordlessly commanding her to kneel before me. She does so slowly, carefully dropping to her knees. "I want to know just how much you'll be willing to submit... for a reward." Once I have her on her knees, I hike up my skirt all the more and remove my own underwear. I can feel that even I am getting excited- although maybe not as shamelessly so as Liliana. I can feel an excited tingle grow between my legs as I place my hand against the back of her head and pull her closer.

"Ah... this is..." She gasps quietly as her cheek grazes the inside of my thigh. She cautiously scoots closer to the chair, moving in until her face is almost pressed up against my pussy. Her quickened breath tickles and excites me as I gently take a handful of her hair.

"Now, Lili, my demands are rather simple." I smile, reaching up under my blouse and bra to play with one of my nipples with my free hand. "I want you to lick- put that tongue of yours to good use and suck as much as you like."

There's only a moment's hesitation before Liliana runs her tongue along my slit, taking a careful taste of me before licking again with a little more force. I bite my lip, holding back a moan as I push her face closer. She begins lapping at the lips of my vagina eagerly, licking and sucking as she presses deeper and deeper inside with her tongue. She moans softly between licks, each exhale a tender, soft noise that turns me on all the more.

"Good girl..." I pant as she moves her face upward just enough so that she can lick and suck on my clit. "Work hard for your reward."

"Mnnn..." Liliana moans against me, pulling away just enough to utter a breathless, needy-sounding, "Mistress..." before going back to hungrily licking and sucking. She moans it again and again, my title in this game we're playing behind the locked door of my office. The situation makes it feel all the hotter, and before I know it I find myself incredibly close to climax. There's little doubt in my mind Liliana hasn't done anything like this before, but still, she's a natural.

"Lili..." I coo breathlessly as I grab a handful of her hair and pull her ever closer as my body is rocked by the sweet, sweet release of my orgasm. In the haze of passion, I'm not sure if it was Liliana or the fact I haven't come in so long that makes the whole thing that much more intense. I bite my lip to keep from crying out and squish Liliana's head between my thighs, feeling my heartbeat quicken and every nerve in my body buzz to life before allowing me to flutter back down to reality. Only when I release her head from the grip between my thighs does Liliana pull away, breathlessly panting herself but for a completely different reason.

"Heh... you did very well." I half laugh, half pant as I reach around and press my fingers under her chin so that she'll raise her head. I guide her upward until the two of us are face to face and I'm able to press the smallest of kisses on her lips where I can taste my own flavor. Her lips part as she softly mewls, quietly begging for more, but despite how kissable her lips are, I hold myself back- I would hate to spoil her. "Now, it's time to give you your reward."


	2. Growing Storm

**Liliana**

This is probably the longest elevator ride I think I've ever taken. Everything seems to pass by in slow motion, and every second seems to take an hour. My heart is still racing, and even now I can't catch my breath. I shiver and lean against the glass wall behind me, turning to gaze at my reflection. Is this the face of a woman who finally achieved what she was searching for? Is she confused? Hurt, satisfied- my expression is unreadable, but the feelings still lingering inside of me, after being churned and tossed about, are still stirring.

A tingle runs through my body and I softly moan to myself as I remember what had transpired several floors above in Marchesa's office. I can still feel the sensation of being bent over her desk, face against the cold, polished wood, her fingers tracing every curve of my body. She'd been so gentle but every, tiny touch had been commanding, willing me to move how she desired and moan when she wished it. We hadn't so much as given each other a friendly handshake in years and yet it was like she knew my body like the back of her hand.

I had been at her mercy, bound and robbed of my sight, but it had felt... freeing somehow. As she touched me in all the right places, whispering the name she had given to me in my ear, I had completely lost myself. Liliana and all of her troubles and concerns melted away, leaving behind only the touch on Marchesa... of my "Mistress". It had been everything I had wanted, and everything I had hoped, and I had honestly wished it had never ended.

But it had, as made evident by the fact I was drawing closer and closer to the ground floor, drifting further and further away from that moment in time that had resulted in the very peak of pleasure. The curtain had to fall, eventually, on our little play, and as I rested my head in her lap, feeling her run her fingers through my hair, she removed the stocking she had wrapped around my eyes and told me it was time for me to leave. Before I even had a chance to register everything that had happened, the sensations of my intense orgasm still lingering over me, she lifted the spell she had cast.

"Mistress-" I had begun to say, but before I could continue, she spoke words that ripped the air clean out of my lungs.

"The game's over, Liliana- it's just Marchesa, now." Her expression had been just as hard to read as mine is now, my emotions still settling after being tossed about in the wild, unsettling sea of passion. I don't even know how I should _feel_. I've gotten what I wanted... right? I'm satisfied... _aren't I_? My hands wander as I try to relive that moment, where I was "Lili" and she was my "Mistress", tracing up my thighs and hiking up my skirt.

A ding rings out, and I practically jump out of my skin from surprise. The elevator rumbles to a stop and the doors slowly slide open, revealing a lobby almost completely deserted and the outside world slowly getting drenched in the darkness of night. I struggle to settle my breathing, trying to reclaim even an ounce of normality- a shred of the Liliana I had been on my way in to work- before I step out into the hush of the lobby. I wonder if people think I look strange- I certainly _feel_ strange.

Making it outside, I pull out my phone, noticing Selvala has texted me a few times and even called me once. I should consider what sort of excuse I should give her on my way back to my apartment- I certainly can't tell her the truth. Now that I think about it, I can't tell anybody the truth! Everything that transpired in Marchesa's office and everything I'm still feeling now have to be buried deep, deep down, just like how Marchesa keeps all of her toys locked away in the dark room in her house. I've discovered a new part of myself today- a whole new person, practically- and I have to keep her locked away.

A cold breeze blows by as I scroll through Selvala's texts- one of them being a picture of her afternoon latte she had gone ahead and gotten without me after work.

"Coffee..." I say to myself, like a zombie. _Fuck_ , I could really go for a coffee. My limbs feel tired and my mind is in a haze- I should want to go home, but now my only solid thought that I can actually grasp at and identify is how much I want a nice, hot cup of coffee. So, instead, I go with that, feeling like I'm sleepwalking as I make my way to Nissa's coffee shop, like it's a single, glowing beacon in this cold, dark night I've found myself in.

"There she is! Hey, Nissa, Liliana's here!" I hear Chandra call from the bar. I stand in the doorway, trying to let the calming warmth of Nissa's coffee shop seep deep into my bones.

"Geeze, there you are. Get held up at work?" Nissa asks as she glides around tables to come and greet me. "Your friends were wondering where you were- said last they saw of you, it was when you were called into Marchesa's office."

"Oh... yeah..." I say, unable to form anything coherent as I nod.

"What happened? Did she really give you the business?" Nissa asks with a light smirk as she leans in so she can look me in the eyes. "... _Are you okay_?"

"Hmm?" I perk up, dragging myself from the stupor I was slipping into, trying to remember how to smile. Perhaps it's not all that convincing, since Nissa is still leaning in really close, like she's seconds away from trying to give me a comforting hug. "I'm fine, it's just... it's been a long day, and I could really use a coffee."

"An _extra strong_ cup of coffee it is." Nissa says with a comforting laugh, eyeing me like she doesn't actually believe me. "Sit wherever, I'll bring it to you."

I look around- the coffee shop is especially busy this time of day, full of people just now getting out of work and seeking the warmth and comfort of Nissa's coffee that, at least, is well known enough if you work within a few blocks of here. There are people gathered in groups, leaning in and sharing intimate conversations, and there are people sitting alone, working on their laptops or reading. Everyone seems so relaxed and in their element, ready to unwind after another long, hard day... and me...? I don't even know what comfort is right now? Is it sitting in a quaint little coffee shop, enjoying a warm drink and nice conversation, or is it being held captive, and being led deep down into the depths of submission?

_God, I'm a freak._

I find a table at the far end of the cafe to sit at, letting my gaze lazily drop and trace the wood grains in the table until Nissa arrives with my coffee. It's a busy evening, but she still finds the time to pull up a chair and sit beside me, setting down my coffee as well as a freshly-baked scone with what looks like blueberries peaking out from the browned pastry.

"On the house." She says with a grin. "Chandra just made one last batch of them for the night, and they go really fast, so I figured I'd snag you one."

"Th-thanks." I say with a nod, picking up my cup of coffee but hardly being at all interested in actually drinking it. Once again, find myself looking back at my reflection, trying more than just a little hard to try and figure out how I should be feeling and trying to recognize the face looking back at me in the murky, brown liquid. Is it Liliana... or is it Lili?

"...Are you sure you're okay?" Nissa prods, lowering her voice and drawing close to me. "You don't have to play pretend around me, I'm not one of those bitches you work with- no offense to your close circle of bitches."

"I think Selvala would take you calling her a bitch as a compliment..." I mutter with a weak laugh. "Not too sure about Jace, though..."

"I just want to know you're okay, you seemed really off this past weekend, too." Nissa says. "If something happened, you can tell me, Lili."

That name. That _fucking name_ , coming out of her lips with such warmth and concern- why couldn't Marchesa had said it like that one more time? Why did she had to drag me back to reality so fast? I want to be comforted, I want to feel warm again... I want to be Lili for just a short while longer, resting in her embrace. But here, sitting with a scalding cup of coffee in my hands, I'm Liliana... hearing that name now from somebody else feels _wrong_...

A sound claws its way up my throat and out my mouth that I quickly identify as a sob as tears begin to steadily drip into my cup of coffee. Nissa gasps, leaning in closely like she's inspecting me for wounds. But I'm not crying over a skinned knee or a cut finger- I'm not a child. My wound is deeper- deeper than she'll ever know, I'm convinced. It's deeper than I'll ever be able to explain.

"Lili! Lili, what's wrong!?" She asks, her voice growing serious. "Did something happen!? Please, tell me!"

"Don't call me Lili... please..." I beg as I continue to cry into my coffee. "Stop calling me that name..."

**Marchesa**

I don't know if I'm putting on my stockings so slowly because I want to be dramatic or because I really don't want to have to leave the office. I'm afraid I'll run into Liliana on my way out- or anybody, actually. I'm not in any head-space to talk to anyone, or see anyone- right now, I just want to be alone, which is why I'm slipping into my stockings as slow as a human possibly can in my near-pitch-dark office.

I _know_ I shouldn't have sent Liliana away so soon. I _know_ I shouldn't have ended things so abruptly- I'm not a moron. This isn't the first time I've engaged in stuff like this- not even the first time I've gotten up to some kinky hijinks in the privacy of an office. There's a lot of care you have to take after such an intense, intimate act. You need to carefully guide your sub back down instead of just pushing them out of the nest the second they can barely fly. But, as I looked down at her lying in my lap, her heavy breathing brushing against my thighs and soft words of "Mistress" on her lips I got... _scared_.

Liliana hating me and being a bitch behind my back is normal- practically routine. And seeing her like that, so deep in sub-space and not seeming at all ready to come up for air as she cuddled against me got me worried for what would happen next. It made me afraid of what would happen from there, about how the natural order of things would get turned on its head. It's not that I wanted to hurt her... in my own, sick way I _needed_ to.

 _I can't go through that again. I can't watch as another person around me changes into a completely different person because of_ me _!_

I'd given her what she wanted, satisfied her curiosity and even gotten myself off in the process but now, with my head clearing and the chill of reality settling back in and sweeping away the comforting fantasy where I'm someone's confident, powerful, cruel mistress, I needed Liliana to hate me again. Even if it meant hurting her, I don't know how I would function if we suddenly found ourselves in that kind of relationship. I don't know how _she_ would function.

I finally pull my second stocking all the way on, the fabric still feeling warm from being wrapped around Liliana's arms. Sitting in the quiet of my office I close my eyes, still able to hear her breathless, hushed moans, and her quivering voice whispering that intoxicating title.

" _Mistress... oh god, Mistress!"_

Once I leave my office, the spell I cast will finally be fully lifted, and I will- no, I _must_ walk away as if none of this ever happened. But here, in the quiet, dark privacy of my office, I can dwell on the memories for just a little bit longer, and savor them until there's nothing left. And savor them I do as I replay it all in my memory, my hand slowly drifting up my thigh and between my legs. I still haven't put my underwear back on (they're still lying on the floor where I can see them) so I can freely run my fingers along myself without anything getting in the way.

I toy with myself, getting myself good and wet again while I try to relive the moment with Liliana that had passed me by- with Lili. I remember how her tongue felt, licking so eagerly between my legs where my fingers have begun to slowly sink into. I quiver as I remember her warm, quick breaths and her moans muffled by my thighs. She had been so obedient, following every order and trusting me as I led her deeper and deeper down into the dark.

She'd been bent over this very desk I was now sitting upon, pleasuring myself. I'd made sure not to take things too far, and only was rougher with her when her voice and body demanded it- and demand it she had. Liliana had taken to being a very obedient, tantalizing sub like a duck takes to water. In that moment, as I bent over her, pinching and stroking and every now and again spanking, she was perfect... _we were perfect_. I bite my lip as I replay every little detail, feeling my climax growing closer and closer.

Oh god, the face and noises she had made when I finally allowed her to come were like a twisted drug to me. Hearing her reach the peaks of ecstasy while struggling to keep her voice down had been absolutely adorable, and how she squirmed and bucked made me want to make the game last longer. But nothing can last forever, not our little game and not my own, private moment of self pleasure. And as I finally come, back arched and mouth open in a hushed, restrained moan, I remember the look of devastation in her eyes as I returned her sight back to her. I remember the look of confusion and rejection when I ended the game by calling her by her actual name, and not by the pet name I had given her.

My moan of pleasure becomes a sob as I slowly crumple inward, drawing up my legs as I come down from the rush of my orgasm crying. I try to cling to the last of the delicious, hot memories of our time together in my office, but all that's left is how awful I feel. I can't even imagine how Liliana must feel- I failed her, in the end, as a competent domme- but not even being able to escape the guilt in the haze of pleasure stings in it's own, cruel way.

"I'm sorry..." I mutter through my tears- words that I should have said to Liliana, but instead I whisper into the empty darkness of my office.

** Liliana **

Nissa and Chandra live in a quaint, one-bedroom loft built above their coffee shop. It's just barely big enough to where two people living together is cozy, and three people is comfortably cramped. Everywhere where there isn't a piece of furniture or some cute little knick-knack Chandra procured, there's a beautiful, thriving plant. Nissa herself even says that, if her coffee shop venture hadn't worked out, she would have very gladly tried for opening a greenhouse.

Tonight I find myself huddled up in their cozy little love nest instead of my own lonely apartment. It's kind of a little difficult to decide to just get up and go home alone once you start breaking down in front of close friends, and even if I had wanted to, Nissa and Chandra would never have let me. They more than happily opened their home up to me and my blubbering ass while they continued to run things downstairs. In the meantime I had helped myself to a long, scalding-hot shower and Nissa lent me a pair of her pajamas while I ran my clothes through the wash. Neither they nor I really needed washing, but I wanted to try and scrub away even the slightest hint of a memory of what had happened back at the office- not that I was successful, though.

The memories still cling to me like an awful stink as I sit huddled up on their couch. Even now I still feel a sniffle or a hiccup away from crying again. I feel hurt and ashamed and embarrassed all at once, and it leaves me feeling tired and weak, on the very edge of breaking down again.

"Feeling any better?" Chandra asks as she leans over the couch. She's holding a glass of wine in one hand, and the bottle of the stuff in the other, and honestly I'm more than a little tempted to just take the bottle. Instead, I settle for the glass and take a long, deep swig of the deep-red liquid. A smarter person wouldn't be so willing to drink after such an emotionally damaging experience, but after all this I'm pretty sure I'm nowhere close to being a "smarter person" or even a person of average intelligence. I'm a fool and a sucker for getting myself into this mess. Chandra watches as I gulp down the wine like a damn fish, her smile faltering just a bit "...I take that as a soft 'maybe'..."

"How about a hard 'no'." I mutter as I finally come up for air. I can hear Chandra sigh in defeat. "Sorry... It's not your fault. If anything it's mine. I'm the one who jumped into the deep end before I could even swim..."

"Feeling up for talking about what happened?" She asks me in a soft, comforting tone, settling the bottle of wine on a side table and taking a spot close to me on the couch. She draws up her legs as our shoulders touch, and I can smell the faint scent of coffee beans drifting off her, clinging to her clothes and her hair. "Me and Nissa are really worried about you, but we can't really, truly help you unless we know what's wrong."

"I know... it's just... really hard to explain." I sigh. "I can hardly explain it to myself... this is all new territory for me."

"What's new territory?" Chandra asks, her voice growing soft, like we're a couple of school kids about to swap secrets. I open my mouth, feeling my cheeks grow warm, growing embarrassed almost instantly at the prospect of explaining to Chandra what I had gotten up to over the weekend, and where that had led me today. I remember how she had reacted at the very mention of BDSM on Saturday, I can't imagine how she'll react to hearing I'd actually had that sort of experience in real life.

"... Something happened... between me and Marchesa." I begin, treading carefully into the subject before I quickly backtrack. "J-just promise me you won't go telling anybody about this, okay! If this gets out, there's a real possibility that it'll get me literally fired."

"Yikes, what in the world did you do to her!?" Chandra asks, her eyes growing wide. "You didn't get into a nasty fight, did you?"

"No, no, nothing like that... And it wasn't what I did to her, its what she did to me... or didn't do... or _something_." I grumble, hugging my legs against my chest and curling into a tight, defensive ball. I take a long, calming breath, but the heat growing in my cheeks and spreading throughout my entire body won't go away.

I can't keep beating around the bush forever. If I keep on being vague and dropping tiny hints, Chandra, who has huddled up incredibly close at this point, is going to smother me.

"R-remember over the weekend... when I asked if you knew anything about BDSM?" I ask her, and almost instantly, the both of us are are blushing the same shade of red. "I... Might have caught a glimpse of some weird stuff at Marchesa's place over the weekend- and don't ask, I just got super drunk- and it... intrigued me... A lot."

"I-is she trying to blackmail you into silence?" Chandra asked, and bless her heart, she's trying her best to not act as super awkward as the look in her eyes gives away that she feels.

"No..." I mutter as the shame starts to really settle in. "I... I asked her to help indulge in my fantasies and she... we..."

"You _didn't_!" Chandra gasps.

"Yep, all while in her office."

" _No_!" Chandra throws her hands over her mouth, looking both shamefully intrigued and shockingly embarrassed. Even while I'm feeling so incredibly down, I can't hep but chuckle at her reaction as she throws herself back dramatically before leaning back in and dropping her voice to a hushed whisper. "Was... was it good?"

"...It was better than good. It was freeing in a way I've never felt before. It's so weird because I hate taking orders from people at work, and I've never thought of myself as someone who's submissive but..." I pause, biting my lip as I flash back to my encounter before shaking it off. "This was... different... Hell, _I_ was different. It's like I became a different person when she touched me and bound me, I-"

I pause to look over to Chandra, whose face is almost as red as her hair. I fear that, if I continue, she's going to overheat. Clearing my throat, I quickly gloss over the long, drawn out journey of an explanation I was about to take us both on and skip to the end.

"A-anyway... I'll just leave you with an 'it was amazing' and skip to the part that led me to start crying like a baby in public." I sigh. "Almost immediately afterward, she sort of just shooed my away. Without even much of a word, she put an end to the game and didn't even send me off with a goodbye. I didn't know what to do, or how to even handle it! My mind is rushing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings and she left me to fumble around in the dark all by myself..."

"I-I'm sorry..." Chandra meekly offers up as I knock back the rest of my wine and rest my head back against the couch.

"I'm sorry, too." I mutter, trying to at least enjoy the warmth left behind by the wine, only to have it overwhelmed by the cold feelings growing in my heart. "Maybe she really just hates me and this was all a part of her revenge."

"It's called aftercare." Both me and Chandra gasp as we practically leap out of our seats. Nissa is standing right behind us, and it seems that neither of us had heard her even come upstairs. She seems disappointed, but by the looks of it, it's not with either of us. Her arms are folded and her lips are curled down into a frown. "It was super irresponsible for her to just send you away like that- in terms of your mental health, she's playing a dangerous game."

"I-I'm sorry but... how do you know that?" I ask, still unable to settle back onto the couch. Nissa reacts slightly, like she had just made a minor social faux pas, and looks over to Chandra who looks like she was caught committing a crime. There's literally no way of knowing exactly how she's going to answer judging purely by their reactions.

"Let's just say... me and Chandra aren't strangers to this sort of thing." Nissa explains as Chandra grabs one of the couch pillows and buries her face into it. "Obviously it's not something we talk to other people about very often."

"Obviously..." I repeat after her, still processing things myself as I slowly utter the one, single word syllable by syllable. "I... I'm surprised I never noticed."

"We like to keep things private- only the people we want knowing know." Nissa says as she reaches over and ruffles Chandra's hair affectionately. She mumbles something right into the pillow, I don't quite catch it, but it makes Nissa laugh. "And now, _you're_ one of those people. You were willing enough to share your experience with us, it's only fair we meet you on even ground-" She pauses, her hand gliding from the top of Chandra's head down and around to her chin, gently coaxing her head up from her cushy hiding place. "- and not act so embarrassed about it."

"Nmm..." Chandra grumbles at first, her eyes darting from side to side, nervously avoiding looking me in the eyes. Surprisingly enough, though, she finally manages to hold my gaze and speaks up, her cheeks still a vibrant shade of red. "What Marchesa did to you... regardless of why she did it, it's... it's horrible and irresponsible!"

"So Nissa explained..." I say with a nod, but Chandra is suddenly on the warpath as she scoots forward, back to being incredibly close to me, as she reaches out and scoops my hands up into hers. Now, even though she's still blushing, her gaze is incredibly intense.

"It... it shouldn't have been like that..." She says, an incredible amount of emotion in her voice as she pulls my hands closer, forcing me to lean forward just a bit as she pulls them close to her chest. I can feel her heartbeat, and it's racing. "No one should have to experience that kind of rejection, especially when it was your first time."

"Well look who's coming out of her shell." Nissa chuckles.

"It's because I'm _pissed_!" Chandra retorts. "I've never met this Marchesa girl, but when I do, I swear to god I'll fight her!"

"Hey now, I thought the goal was to _not_ get me fired." I laugh, feeling a small spark of warmth finally bloom in my chest for the first time in hours. Feeling Chandra's heart beat against my hands and listening to her passionately comfort me works more wonders than a warm shower and a glass of wine ever could.

"Please... let me make this all up to you. There's not much I can do about Marchesa but... I want to be there for you in a way she couldn't... in a way she refused!" Chandra continues, catching me off guard, and suddenly the conversation is hitting the ground running without me, and I wasn't even prepared to follow.

"What are you suggesting, Chandra?" Nissa asks with a gentle smirk and a knowing tone.

"Y-you know what I'm suggesting, I want to help Liliana in the most intimate way I can!" Chandra responds, before drawing back just a bit and holding a hand to her lips, like she's noticed she's said something strange. "Of course I mean... with your permission."

"How could I not give you permission, I would never turn down a chance to help a friend as close as Lili here..." Nissa pauses before casting a look in my direction I can only describe as looking playful. "...But you're also going to need her okay on this, as well."

This whole time I've been looking back and forth between them like I've been watching a particularly confusing tennis match, my mouth half-open the whole time as I waited for an opportunity to speak. But now both their eyes are on me, and now that I have the floor I have no idea what to even say besides,

"Um... what?"

I'm not sure if it's the wine or just the sudden energetic buzz in the air, but my head is really starting to spin.

"Would you be willing to give this whole BDSM business another go? I mean, we can open our home to you, offer you wine until the sun comes up, and let you crash on our couch but... something tells me that isn't going to be enough." Chandra says as she reaches out and rests a comforting hand on my thigh. Her hand is soft and warm and I can't even consider pulling away. "Something tells me _you know_ that won't be enough."

"We do understand if you're not up for it, though." Nissa adds, resting a hand on Chandra's shoulder and pushing her back to give me a little more space. "To do this sort of thing so soon- and with an old college buddy and her wife, I think we can all agree that we won't blame you for finding this a little too awkward to go along with."

"Yeah..." Chandra sighs, and I can't help but laugh at how drastically she deflates at the mention of not getting to fool around. She perks up just a bit, hearing me chuckle, and once again I find the heavy feeling in my heart growing lighter- this time along with the tingle of excitement. There's something deep inside of me that still craves what I had been given a taste of back in Marchesa's office, and it latches on to this new opportunity and won't loosen its grip, much less let go. Maybe it's the added bonus of not feeling like I'm being tossed out like garbage afterward, or maybe it's because Chandra is just way too cute, but I can't think to give any other answer other than:

"If it's you two... then I'll take you up on your offer."

The way Chandra's face just lights up assures me I've made the right decision.

** Marchesa **

By the time I get home, it's started to drizzle, and thick clouds above promise even more rain for the rest of the evening. But, as I step out of the taxi, it's not the rain that bothers me- it's who's waiting for me, sitting at the top of the stairs leading to my front door. I'm half a second too late to try and hop back into my taxi as I hear it slowly pull away behind me, leaving me with nowhere to go but up the stairs to meet my unannounced visitor.

"Judith..." I regard her with a cold call of her name. She has the hood of her jacket pulled over her head to shield her hair from the rain, so I can hardly even see her face, but I can see her smile, and it's like we never even broke up in the first place. She smiles at me like I hadn't broken her heart as well as mine in the process. But I know her smile is like a lure, meant to try and make me lower my guard. Her appearance has caught me by surprise, but just that isn't going to make me drop my defenses- those are always permanently up now.

"Welcome home, Mistress." She says in a voice so sincere it circles right back around to becoming absolutely suspicious.

" _Please_ don't call me that." I sigh as I slowly ascend the steps. I take each step slowly and carefully, afraid I'll seem too eager- afraid she'll take even the slightest action the wrong way.

"I've been trying to call you-"

"I changed my number." I interrupt her, striking fast and hard, not giving an inch.

"O-oh... is that right." She stammers, sounding a little deterred before quickly recovering. "I heard you got a promotion, I was just hoping to get a hold of you and congratulate you... and-"

"And _what_ , Judith?" I ask, my words mingling with the faint roll of thunder overhead.

"I want to try again! I know we can make this work, we just need to try a little harder!" She insists, and I can feel the uncomfortable feeling of panic begin to rise in the pit of my stomach. "I can change, Mistress, I promise-"

"I said _not to call me that_!" I snap and Judith nearly stumbles down the stairs as she backs away in surprise. Even I'm a little shocked by how quickly I lost my temper, and I still don't know if Judith simply brings out the worst in me... or if this is who I really am. I bite my lip in frustration as I fumble around in my bag for my keys. "I told you so many times when we were seeing each other to call me by my name... I told you so many times!"

"I-I'm sorry..." Judith apologizes, and I can just hear her restraining herself from using that dreaded "M" word again.

"I'm not anybody's _Mistress_ , alright, not any more..." I sigh, finally locating my keys and unlocking my door.

"Then who was that girl?" Judith asks, and my blood runs cold. Could she be referring to Liliana? How in the world could she have known!? I clutch my doorknob and keep my focus on my door, refusing to let her see my expression- no doubt I probably look like I've been caught red-handed.

"...What girl?" I ask, putting forth incredible effort not to sound nervous.

"The girl who was here last week, the one you brought home." She confirms, and I immediately go from keeping from looking nervous to keeping from looking relieved. She has no idea what happened back at the office, as far as I know anyway. She has no idea I had another girl aside from her moaning the title that I don't know if I love or I despise.

"She's just somebody from work- she got too drunk at a party and wouldn't give me her address, so I brought her here to sober up." I explain coldly, making sure there is zero room for misunderstanding. " _Nothing else._ "

"Ah-"

"And how do you know I brought her here, anyway!?" I continue as I finally whirl around to face her, eyeing her suspiciously. "I'll have you know that stalking isn't exactly romantic."

"No! N-no... I was just... in the area and happened to see." Judith explains, her gaze slowly drifting down to her feet.

"...I told you I was done, Judith. I meant it when I said it, and I still do! I'm through with being someone's "Mistress". I'm through with having that kind of burden!" I can hear myself sounding more and more harsh, but I refuse to hold myself back. I want her to understand- I _need_ her to, for her sake and for mine. "You were putting too much pressure on me... I can't give you what you want."

Another loud roll of thunder rumbles from the clouds above, and I can feel the rain starting to get heavier. We both look up, Judith seeing this as an opportunity and me seeing this all more like some sort of curse.

"...Won't you let me stay here until the rain lets up... Marchesa?" She asks, sounding out each syllable of my name like she's teasing me. The way she says it sounds like that is just the title, and my real name is just on the tip of her tongue- a secret only she knows. "I'll leave as soon as it stops."

If I were a much crueler woman, I would have just ignored her request and slammed my door in her face. But I'm nowhere near that sort of person, and even when I toy with the idea, memories play back to when we were happy. I wish I could just forget, but they remain in the back of my mind as potent curses disguised as precious little memories. And those curses were placed there by the very woman standing at my doorstep, so that no matter how much I want to turn her away completely, I'll always give her an inch.

"Fine, but the second the rain starts letting up, I want you gone." I grumble as I open my door, allowing her to step inside first. I can hear the rain start to grow into a downpour behind us as I step inside after her, shutting the door behind me. The roar can even be heard inside, pounding on the roof and pitter-pattering against the windows. Judith quickly makes herself at home, pulling off her hood and removing her jacket. She kicks off her shoes and hangs her jacket over the guardrail of the stairs, meanwhile I'm still standing at the door, still standing in my heels with my jacket still on and my heavy bag still slung over my shoulder.

"Something the matter?" She asks with a grin, and I feel myself tensing up.

"What do you think?" I ask her under my breath.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"...No, nothing's wrong." I sigh as I rest my bag onto the ground and slip off my shoes as well, leaving them neatly beside the door. I can feel Judith's eyes following me as I walk to the closet to place my jacket inside. It's just a simple layer of clothing, but under her watchful gaze, I might as well be removing a crucial piece of armor.

"Want anything to drink?" I offer, mostly so I can give myself a reason to go and disappear into the kitchen to escape the crushing weight of Judith's stare. "Water, tea, coffee?"

"Water's fine." She says after a short bit of thought, and the second she finishes I hurry off into the kitchen, out of sight.

"Why did it have to be today?" I mutter to myself as I grab a couple of glasses from the cupboard. "Why did she have to show up today?" I feel my heart ache and I can't help but clutch at my chest. I'd given in to my weakness and played domme for Liliana, and before I even got a chance to fully recover, who should arrive but the very girl who had soured it all for me. She's appeared as if the universe brought her here to make me feel even worse about falling back into my old ways. _Well, I hope the powers that be are pleased to hear that I do, in fact, feel like garbage._

I contemplate pouring myself something stronger, but settle for tap water as well as I return to find Judith sitting down on the couch in my living room. She seems to be incredibly relaxed, like she still lives here- like she still belongs here. I wish I could feel so relaxed, sometimes I don't feel that at home in my own home. It's much too large for one person, but that being said now that Judith is here with me, it feels incredibly cramped.

"Here's your water." I say as I approach her, but at first she doesn't respond. I draw a little closer, assuming she's fallen asleep. "H-hey-"

Her speed catches me off guard as she reaches out and grabs me by the shoulder. In my surprise, I drop both glasses of water, and I hear at least one of them shatter. But, before I can even look to see, Judith pulls me close and forcibly presses her lips against mine. I moan in protest, trying to pull away as I feel her tongue brush against my lips, attempting to deepen the kiss she's forcing on me. Her hold on me is surprisingly tight, and before I can struggle away I feel her grasp the collar of my blouse and, with a quick, strong jerk, she forces it open, popping every button on the way down.

"St-stop!" I mumble, finally finding the strength to start to pull away from the hold she has on me- only to slip in the puddle of water gathered at my feet. Judith uses the momentum to her advantage, and skillfully turns the tables as I tumble onto the couch and she looms over me. She reaches under my bra, left exposed by my ripped-open blouse, and roughly grasps my breast. The resulting panic is finally what I need to summon the strength to fight back. I lash out, kicking her in the gut to push her off of me, and the resulting noise she produces makes me feel both satisfied and sorry.

Judith stumbles back a few steps before falling to the ground with a thud and a pained gasp. She grasps her stomach in agony while I clutch at my blouse, pulling it closed. I expect her to stand up and try something else, so I draw up my feet, very ready to kick the ever-loving shit out of her, like a pissed-off horse. But she remains on the floor, catching her breath, and I swear I catch a glare from under her bangs that are hanging in her face.

"Get out!" I snap, taking this opportunity to stand, taking a strong stance above her as she slowly struggles to her feet. "I want you out! _Now_!"

"Is that an order?" She asks, slyly, like I hadn't just knocked the wind out of her with a single kick and sent her tumbling to the floor. I half think that getting hurt had been her goal- Judith was always a huge sucker for pain.

"I said... _Get. Out_." I repeat, putting enough power into my words and spitting them out as if they were fists that I really do wish I could throw. I'm not going to humor her, this isn't another one of our old games.

"I refuse to let this be over- let us be over." She says, both of us eyeing one another like predators fighting over desired territory. "You're the only one I'll ever want... Mistress." She says it so spitefully, like it's a name to mockingly call me, but this time I don't correct her. I don't know what to say to her, I just want to scream. I hold it all back though, glaring daggers into every inch of Judith's body as she leaves, clutching at my ruined blouse so hard it hurts. I hardly even blink as I watch as she throws her jacket back on, slips back into her shoes and throws open the door.

Our eyes meet one last time before she vanishes, and in that moment, her gaze goes from hostile to hurt, and it tears right through my defenses as well as the raging storm of anger brewing in my chest, easily dwarfing the storm outside, and in that moment I feel myself become nearly overcome with regret.

The door slams, and Judith vanishes out into the rain, and I'm left standing in a puddle of water and glass.

"Shit..." I mutter as I crouch down, starting to clumsily pick up the pieces. These were really nice glasses, too. Why hadn't I used cheaper glassware? Why had I offered Judith a drink? Why had I welcomed her into my house? Why had we broken up? Why had we fallen in love in the first place?

Why, in that moment, did I see Liliana's face?

I gasp as a small jolt of pain blooms from one of my fingers as I drop the shards of glass back down at my feet. A small pearl of blood grows at the tip of my finger, and I watch as it grows large enough to flow down into my hand. And once again, hunched on the floor of my living room, the sound of rain echoing all around me, I find myself crying again.

** Liliana **

I remember how much Nissa blushed when she mentioned that they didn't have enough of her and Chandra's "toys" to go around, and how Chandra chuckled when we had to divvy what they had up between the two of us. Even before the game began, my heart had begun to become lighter, but now all I feel is the rush of excitement and the tingle of anticipation as I feel Nissa's body pressed against my bare back. I can feel her breasts and her impressive muscles that make me feel safe, even when I can't move my arms or my legs.

Chandra wound up choosing the blindfold and leash, leaving me with ropes that bound my wrists and ankles, tied to each corner of the bed and leaving me helplessly bound, forcing me to expose everything, as well as a ball-gag, which Nissa is still holding on to. She sits behind me, allowing me to ease into her lap as much as I can. As strange as I thought it would be, in the naked embrace of the woman who saw the best and worst of me in college, I don't feel even a bit awkward. I feel safe, like I can trust her, even as she reaches around and wraps her fingers gently around my throat.

"One more thing before we start our little game." She says, slowly slipping her hand down my neck, stroking my collarbone and gently caressing one of my breasts. I bite my lip as I struggle to keep quiet, obediently listening to every word. "In this room, until we're through, you belong to me. I enjoy having physical proof of ownership, and lucky for us, I actually do have a spare one of these."

She holds her hand up where I can see what she's holding: a collar. It's a simple one made from black leather, looking like it's seen a bit of use- many a long, passionate, pleasurable night.

"It's an old one of Chandra's but I think it should do." Nissa explains. She takes it in both of her hands, and I tilt my head back as she wraps it carefully around my neck. "Once I release you, you'll be free- no longer my little plaything. But, until then, while you wear this collar, you're mine, and mine alone... do you understand?"

"Y-yes..." I respond, feeling breathless even though we've hardly begun. I feel Nissa press her lips against my neck, and can feel the smile she's wearing before she nibbles gently at my skin.

"Yes... what?" She practically whispers, sending a shiver up my spine. An involuntary smile creeps across my lips, excitement at its peak as I stand at the very precipice of our game. All it will take now is a single word, and I'll plunge back into that intoxicating world of pleasure and pain. I feel only a small bit of worry settle in, making me hold back my words for just a moment, as I think back to Marchesa and that long, horrible ride down in the elevator. But this is Nissa, my friend who I trust with all my dirty little secrets on a daily basis, and my companion who saw me through my darkest days. I can trust her with my freedom, even if it's just for a little while.

"Yes, Mistress." I half speak/ half moan as I feel the collar tighten around my neck, deeming me hers with the gentle click of the clasps holding it in place.

"Very good- and now, we can begin," she says, and I can hear the dark anticipation in her voice before I feel the rubber of the ball-gag being pressed to my lips. So soon after claiming my freedom, she seeks to claim my voice- and I give it to her willingly as I open my mouth. Now, with the rubber ball between my lips and the gag tightly fastened, all I can do is moan, which I'm very, very sure I'll be doing plenty of.

"You've been such a patient girl, sitting and waiting so obediently." Nissa calls over my shoulder to the third member of our party, and I follow the leash she holds in her hand all the way to the foot of the bed where Chandra sits in wait, blindfold on and a collar of her own already tightly fastened around her neck.

"No fun, that sounded really hot- and I didn't get to see any of it." She playfully whines, the most unconvincing pout I've ever seen on her lips.

"And whose fault is that?" Nissa chuckles as she gives the leash a slight tug, forcing Chandra onto all fours. "I'm not the one who chose the blindfold before we started."

"And I'm not the one who skimps on money for more toys." Chandra retorts. I'm honestly amazed the two of them can go back and fourth so casually- had I been in Chandra's position, I wouldn't be able to even speak as I was pulled along in the dark, much too concentrated on obeying the tug of the leash, much too excited, way too turned on. It just goes to show how comfortable they are with each other- how well they know one another as wives, and as mistress and pet.

"Enough talking, and come put that mouth of yours to better use." Nissa speaks in a commanding tone as she pulls on the leash, coaxing Chandra to crawl forward.

"Yes, Mistress." Chandra says with an almost playful chuckle as she crawls over to the both of us. She paws curiously forward, her hands finding my legs and slowly moving up to my thighs. She keeps them there, gripping me tenderly as she leans in, her lips tracing gently along my lower abdomen first. I exhale heavily though my nose, a tiny moan escaping me, as Chandra plants tiny, gentle kisses against my skin, right above where a very carnal part of me wants her mouth to wander. However, with a light jerk of the leash, Nissa wordlessly commands her to venture upward, and she leaves me squirming needily.

"Let's not get too carried away just yet." Nissa chuckles, her lips right up against my ear, eliciting a muffled moan from me. "I'd like for my pets to get to know each other a little better first."

Chandra mewls impatiently, but obeys as she pulls herself up a little higher until her lips brush up against my breasts. She lingers there, waiting just in case for the commanding tug of her leash, but once she's allowed to rest there she quickly goes to work, teasing one of my nipples with her tongue. I squirm, unable to do much else. My instincts are to hold or grasp and shyly pull away, but my bonds hold tight and Nissa is making sure I go nowhere while she let's Chandra have her way. She takes my nipple in her mouth and greedily sucks, like a baby, while she blindly reaches up and grasps my other breast. I writhe in ecstasy, moan after muffled moan escaping me as I feel a trail of drool escape the side of my mouth and run down my chin.

I can see Nissa reach around in the meantime, giving Chandra's butt a reassuring squeeze, and she pulls away from me to gasp. I can't quite see where Nissa's hand and fingers go from there, but it causes her to moan as she travels up from my breasts and kisses my collarbone and up to my neck. She plants a tender kiss against the rubber ball of my gag and can't help but wish I could feel her soft lips against mine as she smiles and moans.

"Now, my pet," Nissa says as she reaches up to grasp as Chandra's chin, who pulls away from me with a soft whine before she leans forward and plants a hungry kiss against her lips- a small reward for her patience. "I think you've gotten to know your new playmate well enough, don't you think its time to get to know her on a more... _intimate_ level."

"Heh, and where does that leave you, Mistress?" Chandra asks, her hands already slowly tracing down my body. The area between my legs tingles needily- I want to ask and beg for some sort of release, but for now all I can rely on is the guiding command of Nissa- my Mistress. Where Chandra goes is up to her, and I can only hope she decides to put an end to the teasing.

"I can be patient, I'll have the both of you serve me in due time." Nissa coos. "For now, I can just enjoy the show- so do try and make it entertaining."

She gives the leash she's holding a good amount of slack so Chandra can travel back downward, playfully taking her time and kissing every inch of my body her lips find on her way. I watch with anticipation, every breath a tiny moan that can be barely heard from behind my gag. Her lips kiss my stomach, my hip, my thigh, and tiny, soft kisses slowly travel inward. I squirm and arch my back, only able to express my wants with my body. _Please... please, I don't think I can take much more!_

Chandra's lips finally meet that sweet spot between my thighs, kisses turning into licking and sucking soon after. I moan in approval as I lean against Nissa, feeling her warm body pressed against my back. Her strong arms wrap around me, one hand reaching up to massage one of my breasts while the other dips downward between my legs to join Chandra.

"Does it feel good?" Nissa asks me as she leans in close, nibbling at my earlobe. "Isn't my precious little pet talented? Wouldn't you say I've trained her... _well_?"

I moan against my gag, at the very least managing a muffled "Mmm-hmm" and a weak nod.

" _My_ , that sounded like some pretty high praise." Nissa chuckles. "What do you say, Chandra?"

Chandra lifts her head, her cheeks flushed red and her lips parted in a smile as she catches her breath.

"Thanks, I've been practicing," she says with a laugh before diving back down between my legs, this time with Nissa parting my outer lips with her fingers, exposing my most sensitive parts. Chandra goes back to work and I go back to breathing heavily through my nose. I can feel her tongue prod into me, licking at my moist inner walls. She goes as deep as she can, hungrily and greedily lapping and sucking, and I can tell with utmost certainty that she hadn't just been saying things: Chandra is definitely well-practiced.

I can feel myself growing closer to climax, my head growing lighter and lighter as I buck my hips. I moan desperately against my ball-gag, and over the sound of my heart pounding I hear Nissa giggle playfully, sounding very much entertained by our little show. I lean against her, nuzzling my face against her neck, feeling my orgasm draw close enough to nearly feel-

Nissa pulls on Chandra's leash, commanding her to pull away from between my legs, almost as if she knew the very second I was about to come. I gasp, moaning as I squirm, desperately miming with my body just how much I want that sweet release that had been almost right within my reach.

"Let's not be too hasty." Nissa whispers into my ear, my body shivering hard in response. "Why don't we have a little bit more fun before the fireworks?"

Chandra laughs and I impatiently groan- _it's going to be a very long night._


	3. Stuck

**Liliana**

I'm roused from slumber by the sound of rain softly pattering against the window and the distant rumble of thunder. For a short moment, I expect to wake up in my own apartment, surrounded by nothing but darkness, but the familiar, faint smell of coffee wafts into my nose as I feel a second warm body snuggle up against me. An arm is limply draped over me and a soft, tired moan finally draws me completely from sleep. Instead of empty darkness, I'm met with Chandra's sleeping face, a trail of drool leading from her lips to her cheek. She's dressed down to nothing but her underwear, and the sheets that had probably been around us at some point are kicked messily to the edge of the bed, some tangled up in her legs.

Raising my head and carefully slipping from her loose embrace I look around, scanning the room and spying a few hints and remains of what had transpired hours before. Ropes were draped over the headboard, a leash is mixed in with the cluster of sheets at our feet, and I can spy the all-too-familiar ball-gag resting on their bedside table. Seeing these things after the fact, when every ounce of desire and anticipation has been licked and squeezed from my body, gives me a slight feeling of embarrassment- but even so, I smile to myself. Wrapping my arms around my body, still completely bare, I can feel that warmth has returned to every inch, both inside and out- but especially to my heart.

I can still feel Nissa's strong hands, holding me and caressing me, and can still taste her flavor on my tongue. I can still hear Chandra's moans echoing in my head- soft, melodic and tempting. I honestly lost track of how many times I had come, or even how many times all of us had reached climax, only to be urged on by Nissa's loving-yet-firm commands. Thinking back on it all, I cant help but feel at least a little bit exhausted.

Heaving a contented sigh I consider falling back asleep until I realize Nissa isn't also in bed, arms and legs tangled with ours. I look around the room, at first only finding our toys and discarded clothing, before my eyes catch sight of something: a small slice of light that cuts across the darkness of the room from the cracked-open door. Curious, I slowly make my way out of bed, careful not to wake Chandra, and half-blindly feel around for my clothes. At the very least, I'm able to find underwear that are definitely mine, and a shirt that, judging by how big and loose it is on me, is definitely Nissa's before I make it to the door. Honestly, Nissa has seen parts of me tonight that most people haven't and never will- I'm sure walking out mostly clothed will be an underwhelming sight at best.

As I open the door I can smell freshly-brewed coffee, and the scent drags the exhaustion from my limbs as I walk out into the light. Nissa's standing in her kitchen, half-paying attention to her coffee maker and half-looking at her phone. Raising her head and stifling a yawn, she finally spies me trying my best to tip-toe across the floor to the kitchen to join her, and she gives me a tired smile.

"Surprised to see you up." She says with a chuckle. "I figured you would be out for a while after all that."

"I couldn't sleep." I explain as I walk over to the counter to join her. "I'd honestly say the same thing about you, Nis-"

"Uh-uh-uh." She says teasingly as she reaches out and loops her finger around the metal loop of the collar I'm surprised I didn't realize I was still wearing. "So long as you're wearing this, it's 'Mistress' to you." I restrain myself from laughing and instead simply snort, allowing her to take me by the collar and pull me a few inches closer.

"Seriously?" I ask as I roll my eyes. "I'm pretty sure the game was over when you pulled out your phone and started showing us cat videos you found."

"I'll have you know cute videos of kittens are an important part of my seduction technique." Nissa says, a proud hand on her hip- but only for a moment before she chuckles to herself as she removes her finger from the metal loop and runs her finger up my neck and gently flicks my chin. "No, no, I'm kidding, I'm pretty sure if you keep calling me 'Mistress' while I'm not horny as fuck, the awkwardness is going to suffocate me."

"You could always break out the ball-gag again." I offer jokingly and Nissa laughs, showing her teeth through a goofy smile. We're back to being old college friends, just hanging out in her kitchen at three in the morning. We couldn't get each other going, even if we tried, without devolving into jokes and laughter.

"Here, let me get that off you- it's probably getting uncomfortable by now." She smiles as she brushes my hair out of the way and reaches around my neck- but I duck away, holding the collar in place.

"It's fine... I'd like to keep it on for a little bit longer, if you don't mind." I tell her, feeling my cheeks grow warm as I run my fingers over the leather. "I like the way it feels. I just seems right... like I belong to someone..."

"I won't lie, it's definitely a look that suits you- not that I'd recommend you wear that into the office, you just own the look really well." She says, her eyes scanning me up and down. "A sub, through and through."

"You really think so?" I ask with a raise of an eyebrow.

"Oh, Lili, after what we got up to, I'm pretty sure you've left me with more than solid proof." She teases. The both of us chuckle weakly before falling silent, our attentions both falling on the nearly-full pot of coffee as the sound of rain falling outside fills the quiet air around us. After everything that happened, I definitely feel like I could use a cup- or _five_.

"... So what do you plan on doing?" Nissa finally speaks up, folding her arms and giving me a concerned look.

"Oh, I'm going to take it off before I leave-"

"Not the collar- I mean what do you plan on doing about _Marchesa_ \- your _literal boss_?" Nissa asks me, her tone growing serious before adding a quick "Who I want to _literally punch_ " under her breath.

"O-oh... right..." I sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted, like I want to crawl back into bed- back into the tangle of sheets and into Chandra's sleeping embrace. "I can't just pretend like nothing happened... I _don't_ want to pretend like nothing happened. I want to talk to her, and I want to get to the bottom of things. I want to know why she pushed me away and..." I pause, feeling my heart pound against my chest. I rest my hand above it, feeling the rhythmic thumping against my palm. "I want to figure out why, after everything that happened, I can't hate her like I used to. Something's... _different_."

"Please just don't go doing anything stupid, Lili." Nissa groans as she pulls a couple of mugs from her cupboard. "Like it or not, she was the first person to guide you into our world, and woke up something inside of you that goes a lot deeper than even _she_ probably realizes. Try not to take that new emotional vulnerability the wrong way. You need to let things settle."

"I know, I know." I nod as she pours us both a nice, steaming cup of coffee. "I'm not going to jump headlong into anything, I just want to talk to her and sort things out. I work in the same office as her, I can't just put it off forever- _I'll go crazy_!"

"Fine, do what you need to do." She sighs as she slides me my mug. "So long as you know that me and Chandra will be here with the best coffee in town to help pick you back up afterwards."

"What about, y'know, _other stuff_?" I ask with a joking eyebrow wiggle. Nissa's expression goes from being serious to withholding a smile as she hides her grin with her mug of coffee, taking a small sip. I can't help but feel that her smile is absolutely breathtaking in that moment, her lips curled around her mug as she laughs through her nose- it always has been, like a literal ray of sunshine.

"We'll see what happens, let's not make any plans just yet." She grins through the steam rising from her coffee. "Although, I must admit, it's an offer that's hard to turn down. You do make a perfect little submissive."

** Marchesa **

I've tossed and turned for hours now, hardly able to even close my eyes let alone fall asleep. I lie awake in my bed, staring up at my ceiling, feeling emotionally drained and exhausted, yet I can't get even an minute of rest. My brain keeps replaying the events from earlier this evening, when Judith had darkened my doorway, keeping the memories fresh and poignant like they had happened only moments ago. The only difference is that I can't bring myself to cry anymore- my eyes sting just at the prospect of shedding tears.

At the end of it all, my thoughts are still lingering on Liliana. She's always the final, punctuating thought at the end of my bitter replay of the night's events. She's as present as the bandage I have tightly wrapped around my finger, clinging to me. I tell myself over and over again that it was just one, curious encounter, and that we've worked in the same office building for years, and attended the same college before that. And, for most of that time anyway, Liliana has _despised_ me. And I... How did _I_ feel about her all this time? Did I hate her too, or did I act that way because it was expected of me? I broke her heart and became her villain, so I played the role.

_Seems like that's all I do lately- play roles. Someone's enemy. Someone's boss. Someone's domme._

My cellphone rings, piercing the calm silence with its tone and lighting up the dark room with the pale, blue glow of its screen. I can only imagine it's a wrong number, since no regular person would call this late, but as I roll over to grab my phone I'm met with two realizations: It's not a total stranger dialing a wrong number, but the person on the other line isn't a regular person- I should know.

"Tibalt, what the _fuck_?" I ask, trying to sound like he's roused me from a deep, incredible sleep that I only wished I had been having.

"Holy shit, you actually picked up!" I hear him mutter under his breath before speaking up, and I'm reminded of all the times I'd simply let my phone ring every time he or anybody else related to him called the past few months. In my moment of weakness I've reestablished a connection I was trying to let go stale. "You wouldn't believe who just came storming through here!"

"Was it Judith, absolutely drenched, wearing that dumb jacket she wears when she wants to look pitiful and sad?" I ask him, rolling onto my back and sitting up.

"How did you-?"

"She came by my place, probably right before she came running to you." I explain with a tired sigh. I push the memories deep, deep down, or at least attempt to.

"What the _fuck_ happened, Marchesa!? She was absolutely hysterical!" Tibalt gasps. "I was almost tempted to start trying to calm her down with alcohol- and you know how much I hate using alcohol like it's some sort of magical problem solver."

For someone whose job involves a lot of alcohol, Tibalt has been sober for years. He used to be an incredible alcoholic before we ever even met, and a very close brush with death was what finally convinced him to start seeking help. Not to say Tibalt isn't a huge mess in other ways that don't involve alcohol, he just does it all without getting wasted. It's probably one of his few good traits.

"We..." I pause before taking a long, preparatory breath. Pressing my fingers to my forehead I search for some sort of excuse that will sate Tibalt's thirst for gossip. But I'm tired and not in the best state of mind for an exercise in creative thinking, so all I can say is, "... Had an argument."

"Must have been one hell of an argument." Tibalt chuckles, and I can almost hear him rolling his eyes. "I was honestly starting to think things between you two had settled."

"Well lucky you, for insisting on not taking sides, you shameless drama queen." I mutter as I slip out of bed and head downstairs.

"What can I say, I love a good catfight." Tibalt admits. A silence falls between us, and I consider bidding him an abrasive adieu, but something inside me clings to the conversation- clings to Tibalt: my reminder of when things were... not necessarily normal, but peaceful. Something inside me doesn't want to be alone on this rainy night, staring at my ceiling, trying and failing to forget both the assault that had taken place in my own living room and Liliana's shameless O face.

"How are things with the club?" I ask, even though I'm not actually all that curious. I just want to keep talking and distracting myself. Although, bringing up Tibalt's BDSM club probably isn't the best distraction.

"Booming as ever, word's finally getting out and we actually get a lot of traffic coming through- a lot more freaks in this city than I originally thought, I guess." He laughs, and I chuckle along with him as I flip the lights on in my kitchen. "Not the same without _you_ showing your pretty little face around here, though. We miss having you here." His tone sounds off-puttingly genuine for Tibalt, who normally is sarcastic 50% of the time and teasingly mean the other 50%.

"I've been busy with work, Tibalt, I'm sure you heard I just got a promotion... I just don't have the time." I shake my head as I walk over to my sink and stare out my rain-covered window into the darkness outside. It's only a half-truth, that I'm suddenly very focused on work. It's more of an excuse.

"Oh yeah, I heard. Congrats." Tibalt says, his words ringing hollow. Perhaps he knows I'm lying, and I'm just staying away from him, everyone else and that world they all live in because I'm scared- terrified of something like Judith happening a second time.

Silence falls between us again, and I consider pouring myself a drink.

"You know, not all subs are going to be like Judith- a lot of them aren't." Tibalt speaks up, his words digging into me like knives, even though I know he means well. He doesn't know how much the prospect of starting all over again hurts- more than whips, hot wax and nipple clamps. "Maybe if you put yourself back out there, you might find someone right for you this time. You're a fantastic domme, I have customers coming through asking about you all the time and where you've gone."

My thoughts drift to Liliana again, and a very potent rush of self-loathing settles in.

"If I was such a fantastic domme, I wouldn't have let Judith get as obsessively hooked as I did. I enabled that, Tibalt, I created that monster." I grumble as I stare down at my sink and grip my counter top. I feel sick just talking about it. "I'm not strong enough to go through all that again, no matter how fantastic a domme you like to say I am."

"You _need_ to stop putting all the blame on yourself, girl. I know an addictive personality when I see one, and Judith is like a walking poster-child." Tibalt groans. "You didn't turn Judith into this, she was like this from the beginning. Love blinds people to things like that..."

"Please just _shut up_ , Tibalt." I find myself snapping, and I can almost hear him nervously clamping his lips together. _Good going, self, you've soured the conversation in two seconds, flat. That should be some kind of record._

"...I'm hanging up now." I tell him, not even able to come up with some sort of friendly word of parting.

"Come one, Marchesa, don't be like tha-"

"Get some sleep, Tibalt." I cut him off before hanging up. And, as I stand in my kitchen, once again faced with the crushing weight of loneliness, I wish cutting things off with my past could be as easy as pressing a button.

** Liliana **

I spend my morning working my morning routine around Nissa and Chandra's. They have a coffee shop to open, and I have a day at the office to get ready for. I take a shower and iron out my clothes that I hope nobody realizes I'm wearing for the second day in a row while they open up shop just downstairs. I can hear the growing sounds of hustle and bustle just below the wood floors as I slowly don my work clothes- they're starting to feel like my armor and my camouflage for the regular world I had been apart of only days prior.

This girl who I look back at, wearing a freshly-ironed office-lady costume doesn't seem like me. She seems awkward and out of place, and I wonder if it's something that everyone will be able to see when I come in to work today. I wonder if it's something Marchesa can see...

Making my way downstairs, I slip into the coffee shop, trying to make it look like I'm not emerging from the stairs that lead up to the private residence above. I feel like I'm back in college, doing the infamous walk of shame back to my dorm. Not very many people are around yet, most of them are ordering their drinks and snacks to go- we all have places we need to be on a weekday morning. The strong scent of freshly-ground coffee is enough to wash away the last bits of exhaustion from the night before that I still feel deep in my muscles.

"Morning, Lili!" Chandra greets as she rushes over with a cup of coffee in her hand and a muffin. "These are for you- on the house!"

"You know, if you keep on giving me all these freebies, you're not going to be able to get rid of me." I chuckle before Chandra reaches around me with both of her hands, fingers brushing against my neck, and at first I think she's going to try and give me a goodbye kiss to send me on my way. However, instead, I hear the quick noise of clasps being pulled apart and I blush hard, realizing I totally forgot to take off my collar.

"Moron." Chandra half-chuckles/half-grumbles as she takes the collar and throws it behind a nearby potted plant where she'll, hopefully, grab it later.

" _Yikes_ , you literally just saved my life there." I laugh as I run my hand over the now-bare skin of my neck. It suddenly feels cold, and I feel oddly naked, even though I'm dressed from head to toe. "Guess I feel a little _too_ natural in it."

"God you're a mess- you remind me of myself when me and Nissa first started doing this. I went to class wearing my collar and I had to tell people it was some sort of punk-rock thing. I mean, it worked, but I don't think that's going to fly in a stuffy office." Chandra says sternly, but with a smile. I catch Nissa from over Chandra's shoulder, and she's watching the whole thing, struggling not to burst out laughing and drop her full pot of coffee. Luckily, it seems like she's the only one who noticed.

"Thanks- I'll try to be a little more careful next time." I assure her.

"You'd better, unless you have some sort kink for explaining BDSM to a bunch of walking suits." She sighs, resting her hands on her hips.

"Hey... can I ask a question before I go?" I question, and Chandra perks up a bit, giving me silent permission to go on. "The feeling like your everyday normal life is just an act... does that feeling ever go away?"

"Not really, there's always going to be that sense that you're wearing a mask... but you have to think about it like this," Chandra says thoughtfully, clearly straining herself to try and come up with something wise- and I appreciate the effort. "Boring office lady is just as much a role you play as the one you play in the bedroom. We're all just acting for different reasons in different situations. Who you really are is in those moments in between, drinking coffee with your friends, or showing off your extensive cat video collection in bed. That's who you are, so try not to lose sight of that."

"...Thanks. For everything." I say with a smile, casting one over her shoulder to Nissa, who catches it and returns it with one of her own.

"Hey, come by any time you ever need wise advice come up with on the spot, coffee- or, you know, a _spanking_." Chandra smirks, and I playfully elbow her. I want to very much keep this moment with me as I genuinely smile and laugh, holding on to the last bits of comfort I have before venturing out into the normal world. I'm going to need every inch of that today, when I come face to face with Marchesa again.

* * *

 

I arrive at my office building a lot earlier than normal. Usually I'm rushing to the elevators, minutes away from being late, but today, since I only had to walk a couple of blocks, I can take things easy. I linger in the lobby, sipping the last drops of Chandra's delicious coffee and eating the last, sugary chunks of my muffin before I head upstairs. Other early-risers are lined up at the cafe, getting their own morning refreshment, and I half-hope to see Marchesa among them- but instead I see someone else.

Jace is just off to the side of the cafe, talking on the phone and sipping his extra-large morning coffee. I figure I might as well say hi, and maybe give my excuse I have ready for Selvala for why I ghosted them yesterday a test run. Jace isn't like Selvala, who will try and get to the bottom of things and try and dig up dirt wherever and whenever she can. I could honestly say I was abducted by aliens and he'd give me a nonchalant shrug and a "sounds wild". Jace is relaxing in that regard- his giving almost no fucks is infectious, and _boy_ , do I need some of that today.

"Hey, Jace!" I call, but he seems a little too engrossed in his phone call. I walk a little closer, ready to give my greeting another go before I catch the very end of his phone call. He seems happy, a relaxed smile on his face as he talks- a look he never even gave _me_ while we were dating.

"I'll see you tonight, I love you."

" _Holy shit_." I gasp, my energy meant to be put into my friendly greeting instead all focused on emphasizing my "shit". Jace leaps- not just jumps- into the air as he hangs up, spinning around to meet my shocked gaze with one of his own, and the both of us are left staring with our mouths hanging open.

"D-did you hear that!?" He gasps, blushing enough to make _me_ feel embarrassed.

"Well, well, well, sounds like somebody has a new flame- finally put yourself back on the market." I tease. "I'm surprised you haven't shared the happy news with me and Selvala- it sounds pretty serious."

"The fact it's serious is _why_ I don't tell you- and Selvala especially! If she found out, it would hardly be a day before the entire building heard. I don't want that kind of attention." Jace grumbles, pocketing his phone as he starts to make a quick escape for the elevators, but I'm able to match him stride for stride, even in heels.

"So what sort of attention does Jace like these days, huh?" I ask playfully. "I promise I won't tell a soul- I'm starting this new thing where I'm all about keeping secrets. Who's the lucky girl who has you all smitten and smiles?"

" _His_ name is Gideon- he works at a gym I go to in town." Jace mumbles under his breath, and it rips all the wind right out of my sails.

"Uh... _huh_..." I say, only able to force out an idiotic sounding retort instead of something meaningful. Jace clearly takes offense as we stop at the elevators, giving me a glare that I had no idea he even had in him, and it's strong enough to sting.

"What? You think it's weird?" He asks harshly. "Go on then, get it all out. If it's one person who I expected to get all judgy about it, it's you."

His words legitimately hurt, and I have to hold myself back from feeling offended and coming at him with the same amount of bitterness. In a way, Jace is just like me, with a private life he's afraid to share. Maybe the old Liliana would have honestly teased the hell out of him without a second thought, but the new me, who almost went out into public with a collar on, feels she needs to treat the subject with a little more finesse.

"Nothing weird about it... I'm glad you found someone." I tell him with a shrug. "...Is he nice?"

"Y-yeah... he is." Jace says with a nod, looking like he's trying to process that I hadn't turned his dating another man into a big, old joke.

"Good... I'd like to meet him sometime, maybe bring him around for coffee one of these days." I offer.

"We'd have to swear Selvala into silence about it, first." Jace chuckles as the doors of the elevator slide open. "Maybe get it in writing to make it legally binding."

"Wow, you really think that's going to be what it takes?" I ask as we step on, but I can't help but agree.

"Knowing Selvala, it probably won't even be enough."

The both of us laugh as we ride the elevator up, and I relish in this final moment of enjoyment before I step out onto the battlefield.

** Marchesa **

Liliana has been practically stalking me all day, and I have no idea why.

No, scratch that, I 100% know _exactly_ why she's constantly lurking, trying to get my attention and talk to me every chance that she can get. I just want to pretend I don't know why- I want to bury what happened between us deep enough to where it's hardly even a memory. I don't want to have to deal with my complicated feelings that keep on surfacing, not at work where I'm supposed to be in my element. Not while I'm in an environment where I'm her actual boss and she's an employee. Or, you know... _ever._

I had hoped my spurring her so hard would keep her away and return things to normal, but it's unfortunately attracted her to me even harder, and every time I turn a corner it's like she's there, the most intense look on her face and an oppressive feeling that she has thousands of words she wants to launch my way. I keep on narrowly avoiding her with meetings, paperwork and sudden pressing matters I need to attend to that very second. I want to beg her to stop, but I'm not the type to beg.

But, it's near the end of the day- I just have one, last meeting that's sure to eat up the rest of my work day, and then I can be free. Well, free from Liliana herself at least, the thoughts about her continue to linger despite my best attempts to keep them down. I wait at the elevators, tapping my foot impatiently as I wait for my means of escape to arrive. No sign of Liliana rounding the corner with a scary look of determination in her eyes, no sound of heels clacking against the floor either. _Just a little bit more, just a few more seconds, and I'll be safe._

"Safe", _god_ \- safe from what? Safe from finally reaping what I have sown? Safe from the consequences of my actions? A voice somewhere deep inside my mind whispers that I deserve it.

The doors to one of the elevators swing open and I practically dive inside into the confined safety of my lift away from having to face Liliana. And, as the doors close, I can finally relax a little, and I heave a monster of a sigh.

With a sudden, loud slap, a hand forces it's way between the elevator doors, forcing them open again. From my perspective, it's like a scene directly out of a horror film as the doors re-open to reveal Liliana, who quickly slips into the elevator with me. She has a look that can only be described as a war face, and she's clutching a couple of folders like they're a shield. _Am I the one who's supposed to be scared here, or her!?_

"L-Liliana!"

"I was told to give these to you- you left them on your desk, but I'm guessing they're important." She speaks almost robotically as she hands them off to me. They're the files I had carefully prepared for my meeting, and walking into the meeting room without them would have been like stepping in there completely naked. For the briefest of seconds, I feel a shred of relief.

"Thanks, you really saved my ass." I say, going from being relieved to being stressed out of my mind as the elevator doors close shut, leaving me and Liliana trapped in here. Together. _Alone_.

"I-I've been meaning to talk to you." Liliana begins, and I can see her balling her hands into tight fists. _Is she nervous, or is she preparing to throw hands here in the elevator?_

"Can this wait? I'm a little pressed for time." I ask, and I want to slap myself because I can hear my voice audibly wavering.

"We need to talk, Marchesa... about a lot of stuff." She insists. "I'm not going anywhere... 'Mistress'."

"Don't you dare call me that!" I snap, taking an angry step forward. My voice is nearly a shout, but in that moment my words are overpowered by a powerful, mechanical clank as the elevator shudders enough to make the both of us lose balance. The both of us gasp, grabbing onto the hand rails as we nervously look around. It's very easy to tell almost immediately that we're no longer rushing up to the floors just above us, and the hush is almost intimidating. We stand in stunned silence for only a moment more before I fly into action.

"I'm calling building maintenance. This is _bullshit_ , I'm going to be late..." I mutter as I reach out and grab the phone below the panel of buttons. Liliana is surprisingly quiet while I do so, so much that I forget she's there while I make the call. She's not exuding the same kind of nervous energy I am, now that we're literally trapped together.

"I'd make myself comfortable if I were you." Liliana finally speaks up once I've finished my very irritated call. "Last time this happened to me I waited for almost an hour. Maintenance likes to take their time."

"God dammit..." I groan to myself as I turn around and face the wall, but I can still see Liliana on the surface of the glass, her gaze burning holes into my back.

"We need to talk." She repeats, and I can feel my nervousness spike.

"No, we don't! It was just one time, I was just indulging in your curiosity- it was _nothing_!" I insist, keeping my eyes focused on my own reflection- and _fuck_ , it looks like I'm about to cry.

"No it wasn't!" Liliana shoots back. "Don't you dare call it nothing! It wasn't nothing!" The amount of emotion in her voice is shocking, rising from zero to 100 so much I'm forced to turn around. And here I thought I looked like _I_ was about to cry- Liliana's eyes are alarmingly moist, barely holding back tears.

"I..." I stammer. I figured she would be upset- pissed off, even, but I didn't expect her to _cry_.

"Did you do it because you thought it would be funny? Did you want to punish me? Why did you use me like that and just throw me away?" She continues, bombarding me with question after question, sounding more and more hurt with each one. "Do you hate me that much?"

"I don't hate you!" I shout over her, bringing her onslught of questions to an abrupt halt. "I've never hated you... I was... afraid."

" _Afraid_?" Liliana scoffs, narrowing her eyes as a single tear manages to slip passed. "Afraid of what!? You were the one in the position of power, what the hell did you have to be afraid of!?"

"I have my reasons, okay." I mutter.

"That isn't good enough!" She shakes her head angrily. "I have the right to know, as the girl who submitted to you... as your ex."

"I..." I pause to gulp, feeling a warm lump growing in my throat. "I've seen this sort of lifestyle consume people... I've seen it change them. It's addictive, it's a rush and I'm sure you felt that... it's freeing. People wind up wanting more and more, and keep chasing that high, and it... changes them." Suddenly I'm back in my living room, glaring down Judith, the girl who I used to genuinely love. "I don't want to put you though it... I don't want you turning into that, too. So... I pushed you away."

"Is that why you broke up with me in college- because you were afraid?" She asks, my explanation sating her enough to stop her shouting, but not the tears.

"I broke up with you because I was afraid to hurt you. I didn't know this sort of thing would be something you could take..." I explain guiltily.

"Well, _clearly_ it is. I've been through a lot since yesterday... to say the least, I've proved to myself it's something I can handle. But I also know better than to let that sort of lifestyle consume me. It's what I like... _apparently_... but it's not who I am." She casts her gaze downward, a gentle blush lighting up her cheeks. With a sniffle she wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand, softly cursing to herself under her breath. I'm captivated by the small little gesture, unable to keep myself from thinking how cute she is.

 _No, no, I can't do this! I can't let this happen!_ My thoughts race, refusing to let me get any closer to her than I am now. I don't want to ruin her... any more than I have anyway. My instincts are, once again, to push her away, both physically and out of my heart.

"Is that so..." I say, pausing and waiting for her to look back up at me with flushed cheeks and an emotionally vulnerable gaze. "I don't think I employed the use of a safeword the last time. It's a word we use when we're deep in our little game, when words like 'no' or 'stop' are only used as fuel for the fire. It's the one word that brings a stop to everything- the one absolute." I take a step in her direction and I can see her shoulders tense. No doubt she can feel the shift in our conversation as she takes a long, nervous breath. She eyes me with a look, like she's trying to figure me out while also quietly asking for me to continue.

"My particular safeword is 'rose', and it would be up to my submissive in my care to use it whenever she felt like I'd gone too far." I continue as I draw closer. "Would you be able to find it in yourself to stop me? Would you be able to stop the game yourself?"

"I-" Liliana stammers before biting her lip. Her gaze only wavers slightly, almost completely locked with mine.

"How would you say you feel about me?" I ask, my voice now a hushed whisper now that I'm close enough. I reach out to cup her chin, and surprisingly she doesn't pull away. She lets me touch her, consenting with her actions as she practically leans in to my touch. I don't know if this little action makes me excited... or if it worries me. "You hate me... don't you? Ever since college, you've made no secret about it."

"I... I used to think so... to be honest I thought you were a real bitch." She says, chuckling nervously. "But now... now I'm not so sure how... I feel..."

"What if I said I _wanted_ you to hate me... that I wanted you to _despise_ me?" I ask as I slide my hand slowly down her throat, gently wrapping my fingers around her neck- not hard enough to choke, but firm enough to make her gasp.

"I..." She pauses, her gaze finally breaking with mine. She looks so sad, so much it makes my own heart ache, but I refuse to back down. I have to do this- I _need_ to do this! "At this point, I don't think I could. And at this point I have to wonder... if you ever hated me at all."

"And what if I said I wanted you to stop me? What if I told you I needed you to employ that one, single absolute? Would you be able to do it?" I ask her as I reach out with my other hand, running it under her skirt and up her thigh. The air around us is suddenly electric and bursting with energy. She gasps and I can feel her shudder under my touch, but once again she makes no move to pull away as she closes her eyes in a state of bliss.

"I... I..." She attempts to say, but can't get the words out, and I dare to push her harder.

"You hold the real power in this game, and it's just one word. One word has more power over all of this than even me, but it's up to you to decide if you want me to stop." I continue as I lean in, my lips grazing against her ear. I slowly move my hand up a little more between her legs, the tips of my fingers tracing against the hem of her underwear.

I feel like my heart is getting crushed the further and further I go, not a sound other than excited panting coming from Liliana. I have her under my spell, and for once it actually hurts. I try to keep my disappointment from showing through in my actions as I run my hand right between her legs, feeling that she's already become slightly wet.

_Please, it's just one word! Just one word!_

"St... stop..." She mutters, her words coming out as shaky breaths.

"Hmm?" I mumble against the skin of her neck as I reach up to slide my hand inside her underwear. I make each of my movements slow, letting the anticipation build and drive her wild- which it clearly seems to do.

"N-no..." She whispers.

"Not what I'm looking for." I darkly chuckle as I lean in, my lips now brushing up against hers. "Your Mistress is giving you a command- perhaps you _want_ to be punished."

"I... I... nnng..." She moans softly as she reaches out, hands desperately gripping at the sleeves of my jacket. But, before I can tempt her even further with a deep, smothering kiss I hear her gasp and her eyes fly open. Something in her demeanor changes, and it gives me pause as she shouts "rose!" right in my face before taking me and pushing me away. I stumble back, nearly falling clean on my ass if it weren't for my back knocking against the wall of the elevator.

"Rose..." She says the word again, pulling down her skirt. We stare back at one another, our panting filling the otherwise quiet elevator. The energy is gone, the growing heat dissipates, and all that's left is the sound of heavy breathing.

I laugh. I don't even find the situation all that funny, but can't help but heave an almost relieved chuckle as I slide down the wall until I come to sit on the ground. I draw up my legs and hide my face in my hands and I laugh and laugh- I laugh until my laughter becomes crying. It's not like the tears I shed last night, where sadness and loneliness overtook me in the wake of Judith's horrible visit. I feel... relieved. I feel relieved enough to cry.

"I... I'm sorry..." I hear her apologize though my sobs.

"No... I'm the one who should be sorry." I sob, keeping my hands pressed up against my face, refusing to let her see my tear-filled eyes or my quivering lip. "... Thank you... Thank you for stopping me."

I hear her approach and, much to my surprise, I can feel her presence as she slowly slips down the wall and sits herself next to me. She doesn't say anything- doesn't have some sort of wise, comforting anecdote for the situation. She doesn't reach out to comfort me in some kind of warm embrace. She just sits, close enough that our shoulders touch, and allows me to cry. She simply sits with me in my moment of weakness, waiting for me to cry out all of my tears, close enough to where I feel like I'm not alone, but not so much that it seems like she expects anything to come out of it.

I cry until my cries become sobs, and sob until my sobs become hiccups, and when I finally feel calm enough to show my face again Liliana is still sitting there, gazing up at the ceiling, still patiently waiting for me to finish. I want to rest my head against her shoulder, but I don't know if she'd like that, like it would break the spell and things will go back to feeling awkward and terrifying again.

"Let me make this up to you." I finally speak up. "I want to make up for how I treated you yesterday... I kind of want to redeem myself, both in your eyes and to myself. I want you to see the real me- the _true_ Marchesa. Not the one who's always afraid and pushing people away... I want you to have that much, at least."

"Fine, when?" She asks. "After work?"

"N-no... I don't think I'm in the right state of mind." I shake my head. All I'm in the mood for after work is a strong drink and a long nap. "This weekend, come over to my place."

"I have no idea how to get there- the last time I was over, I was pretty drunk." She chuckles.

"Then just text me so I can-"

"I don't know your number, either." She cuts me off in an almost playful way.

"God, give me your phone." I groan, and she offers it up with a roll of her eyes. With incredible swiftness, I add my number to her contact list before I realize what I'm doing and get overwhelmed by embarrassment. I don't think I've exchanged numbers with someone for the purpose of hooking up since... _Since Judith_.

"There!" I practically announce as I hand her back her phone a little too roughly. "Just promise you won't blow up my phone with a bunch of annoying texts- especially during work."

"Hmm? Don't you think you should have filled your number under 'Mistress' instead?" She asks teasingly.

"Don't push your luck." I grumble just as a clank reverberates above us and the mechanical whir of the elevator starts back up.

"Looks like they got this thing back up and running."

" _Fuck_ , my make-up is probably a mess." I mutter as the both of us stand and make ourselves look presentable.

"Let me see." Liliana says as she forces my head around and rubs her thumbs beneath both of my eyes. I flinch slightly, but allow it. "There, and if anybody asks, just say you freaked out because the elevator got stuck."

"Thanks." I say as the elevator doors open. We're not on my desired floor, and a couple of maintenance workers are there to greet us. The both of us give our awkward thanks as we step out onto the floor and stand in even more awkward silence. We can't really give a proper goodbye like we just had a _moment_ in front of the maintenance people, so we simply stand and clear our throats and look to see what floor we're on now.

"I should probably run up to the meeting room and explain myself- I'm taking the stairs this time, though." I sigh. "What about you."

"I have a little more work to do back on our floor, but I'll risk it with the elevators." She says with a grin as she looks down at her phone that's started to buzz. "And that's Selvala- probably wondering where I went."

"Ah, okay..." I say, shoving my hands into my pockets as I slowly turn in the direction of the stairs. "Well... see you around, I guess."

"Y-yeah..." She nods, and I turn the corner, out of sight.

My heart feels lighter somehow, I can't quite describe it with actual words. It's like a weight that had been crushing me all day is gone, and the memories of the other night with Judith no longer play inside my head in such awful detail. Now all I can remember is the warm sensation of Liliana's shoulder brushing up against mine. I think about what awaits me this weekend and get... _excited_.

As I trudge up the stairs my phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to see I've received a text from an unknown number, but judging by the contents of the message I know _exactly_ who it is. All they've sent it a single flipping-off emoji and I pause between steps to laugh and go about adding the number to my contacts. I stop at "Lili", feeling legitimately tempted, but continue typing and add her into my contact list as "Liliana" instead. Once I'm finished, I return to her text message, feeling I at least need to send something back, as a form of confirmation.

"Thanks for stopping me-" I start to type before I think better of it and erase everything I wrote. I send a flipping-off emoji back.

** Liliana **

"Oh my _god_ , I _just_ remembered something!" Selvala gasps, as Jace and I look up from our coffee. After my run-in with Marchesa I feel particularly drained, and even though she seems incredibly excited about whatever she just so happened to remember, I can't quite match Selvala's energy. I'd need to finish my coffee and then some if I really wanted to feel that energetic at this point.

"Forget something at the office?" Jace guesses, to which she narrows her eyes and scowls.

"No- and even if I did, I'm off the clock. God knows I'm not going back there until my shift tomorrow starts." She sighs. "No, I heard about this crazy club in town- apparently it's been around for a while, but this was the first time I ever heard of it!"

"What kind of club?" I dare to ask. Selvala is always discovering new and unusual places to hang out after work and party. She keeps an ear to the ground about clubs and parties and every time I wind up going with her, I almost always have to drag her out because she always gets into fights with complete strangers. On the upside, I've never gotten absolutely wasted or hit on by total creeps because of this, and Selvala is always the entertaining drunk- when she's not furious and trying to claw out some girl's eyeballs, that is.

My asking makes her smile all the wider, to the point where she looks like she's downright scheming, and for a second I nearly regret having asked.

"A BDSM club."

I sharply inhale and choke on my coffee, reduced to a coughing, wheezing mess. Selvala lets me get it completely out of my system, but the entire time she's still wearing the same, mischievous smile.

It seems the planets are aligning in the strangest ways lately. Ex Girlfriend-turned boss? Into BDSM. Best friend since college? Also into BDSM. New club Selvala sniffed out? It's a BDSM club. I feel like I'm caught up in some sort of weird, kinky conspiracy!

"You okay?" Jace asks me, being at least one of my two work friends concerned about whether or not I'm able to breath.

"You found a _what_!?" I gasp, slamming my cup against the table, more concerned with confirming with Selvala about her strange discovery more than assuring Jace I didn't need him to perform the Heimlich.

"It's a big, kinky club full of freaks, right under our noses!" Selvala continues, her smile way too wide for the subject matter. "And you _know_ I can't go on living my life knowing such a place exists! We need to go and scope the place out!"

"Yeah, no, count me out of this one, not all that big on ropes and latex." Jace refuses immediately.

"Pussy!" Selvala says mockingly before turning to me. "Guess we'll just have to make this one a girl's night!"

"I... Don't know, Selvala, I mean... you're not even into that sort of stuff-" I pause. I didn't know Jace had a boyfriend and I for sure didn't know that Nissa and Chandra were into this very particular type of kink. Perhaps I'm a very bad judge of character. "- _Are you_?"

"No way, no way! That stuff freaks me out!" Selvala assured me, but I honestly can't help but feel a slight twinge of offense from her reaction. "But it will be like going to a haunted house, but _sexier_! I want to see what sort of weird, kinky stuff they get up to in places like that!"

"I-I'm sure they don't go there so vanilla people can ogle them like zoo animals." I quickly begin to protest.

"Come on, Liliana, it might be fun! And besides, maybe you'll find out something dark and kinky about yourself there- it might be an enlightening experience!" Selvala continues to push.

"I-I don't know..."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but it sure sounds exciting." I hear Chandra say as she walks up to our table, setting down a panini that Jace ordered. "Something happen at work?"

"Uh- Selvala just found a new-" I begin to try and explain.

"A BDSM club!" Selvala finishes, and we all witness the fastest transition from calm to deep, overwhelmed blushing as Chandra looks like she's been swept up in a particularly violent current.

"W-well, I'll leave you guys to that, then!" She says stiffly. "I think Nissa needs help with the... machine... coffee... thing." And before I can even attempt to say anything else, Chandra is wasting no time in quickly heading back to the bar, nearly running into tables, chairs and people as she does so.

"She's so cute and innocent- makes me want to hug her, like a stuffed animal." Selvala laughs.

_Oh, if only she knew what I knew._

"So, what'll it be?" She asks, leaning over the table towards me. I lean back into my chair, feeling like a mouse cornered by a cat. "Are you really going to send me into that freaky lion's den all by myself!? Am I going to really have to brave that kinky battleground all by myself, where I might get taken advantage of and dragged away to some weirdo's dungeon!?"

"Stop, you're being _way_ too dramatic!" I groan.

" _Well_?" Selvala asks, putting me on the spot. She seems so eager and excited, which is a rare, new and rather unfitting look for her. And as much as the whole 'getting dragged into some weirdo's dungeon' bullshit is way too dramatic, I do know that a BDSM club is uncharted territory for the girl whose favorite pass time, outside of office gossip, is picking drunken fights. If I leave her to her own devices, she's going to make an ass of herself- or worse, actually get hurt with no one around to drag her out of a scuffle. Selvala is a huge bitch, but she's _my_ bitch.

_Not in that way, of course, I mean... oh, never mind._

"Fine... but just this once!" I give. "We'll pop in and out, how bad could it possibly be?"


	4. Ruby-Red

**Liliana**

What do people even wear to BDSM clubs? All leather? Latex!? _Full-on gimp suits!?_ All of my BDSM experience has been in the privacy of a bedroom... or a locked office, so how do you take that out into a public space? I've spent the past hour digging though what few dresses I have- probably tried on the same ones three or four times trying to find one that looked... "Right". Normally, I don't care all that much, I usually go along with Selvala to clubs to babysit, so I just throw on whatever looks nice and hope I don't smell. But this time, even though I'm still going to make sure Selvala doesn't bring her usual brand of chaos, I feel like I have to actually dress the part.

_Maybe I should borrow that collar from Chandra and Nissa...oh but then it will look like Selvala is my domme!_

Before I can start screaming into my pillow in frustration my phone rings, and I know my time is up. Whatever I'm wearing is what I'm showing up in, and I hope it doesn't look like I'm some lost girl who wound up at the wrong club. It's a deep-violet, strapless number that stops just above the knee that I'm pretty sure I wore only once because I thought it looked too plain. _Great_!

"Hello?" I answer, holding my phone against my face with my shoulder as I dig through the drawers of my dresser for something- _anything_!

"Wow, _somebody_ sounds annoyed." I hear Selvala chuckle on the other line.

"Well _somebody_ wasn't prepared to go to a weird fetish club, okay!" I groan, pulling out a gold chain belt that I have to strain myself to remember where or when I even got it- or if it's even mine.

"Look, just throw on something nice and let's go! Nobody is going to care, and it's not like you're going there to try and pick anyone up, right?" Selvala groans. "So hurry up, I'm pretty sure I'm parked in a fire lane."

"God, fine, give me a second." I say with a sigh before hanging up. I throw the belt around my waist before taking a look at myself in the full-length mirror on my door. I looks... fine. Everything about the outfit is fine, but the nervousness brewing in my stomach makes me feel anything but.

"I'm not going to hook up. I'm not going to hook up..." I chant quietly to myself, looking my reflection dead in the eyes. "I'm going to keep Selvala from making a fool of herself. _I'm not going to hook up_!"

Marchesa's face flashes in my mind for a moment, and I have to force the thought right out of my head. It's not like the two of us are in a relationship- we're just two people who work in the same office who hooked up once and are now floating in the unsteady seas of "it's complicated". She shouldn't be in the forefront of my mind when I make the decision not to wind up with somebody at this damn club. She's not my girlfriend, she isn't going to mind!

I take out my phone one last time, eventually making my way back to the single message I'd sent Marchesa earlier today, and the single one she'd sent back. Should I tell her I'm going to this club? Should I ask for advice? Or should I not even bother her at all!? The nervous stir of anticipation grows in my belly as my fingers hover over my touch pad, but instead I quickly think better of it seconds before Selvala impatiently calling me again takes over my screen.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I groan, not even bothering to answer. Maybe I'll tell Marchesa about it this weekend, but right now she really doesn't need to know.

* * *

 

The entire car ride to the club consists of Selvala throwing out all of her expectations of what she figures we'd find at this club that at least wasn't meant to cater to _one_ of us and me mostly just giving her noncommittal shrugs or shooting down really ridiculous stuff, like the place practically being some sort of kinky brothel. I imagine it's just like any other club, just for people who share a very niche interest. I bring this up to Selvala and she looks at me like I'm the most boring person she knows. _Well, excuse me for not wanting to assume we're going to be walking into some sort of freaky kink circus like you._

I don't start to feel nervous again until we've exited the safety of her car and are standing right at the doors to the club: Club Rakdos. The red sign is illuminated by even more red lights, making the place seem altogether rather hellish, like it was meant to ward people away who weren't already in the know about what lies just beyond the heavy, red doors. Selvala, at least, looks excited enough for both of us, like we just discovered some sort of holy land instead of a BDSM club.

"Well, shall we go in?" She asks, smiling devilishly.

"Just promise me you aren't going to start any fights- it's a weeknight, we really shouldn't even bother drinking." I moan.

"Okay _mom_." She says, rolling her eyes. "And trust me, I'm going to be too distracted by whatever bullshit they've got going on inside. I'm not here to start any trouble, I'm here to people-watch."

_Yeah, and I'm here to Selvala-watch._

It's a clever thought, and I really want to throw it out there, but before I can even utter a singe syllable, Selvala grabs me by the wrist and pulls me inside, like an excited child pulling their weary parent into a candy store. I don't even get a second to breath- I don't even get a second to _think_ , and before I know it, we're through the big, red doors and enter a whole new world.

The entire place is decorated in a dominantly red and black theme, with deep red curtains draped over the walls and black carpet and details like guardrails and fancy-looking light fixtures- it's actually pretty well lit for a club. Normally I'm used to being met with darkness and strobe lights illuminating dozens of gyrating bodies on a chaotic dance floor and pounding music, but this place is a lot more sophisticated. There appears to be a dance floor, but right now it's covered by tables and chairs meant to be moved out of the way during nights when people actually come to dance and let loose. But tonight, the patrons of this club seem a little more subdued- obviously not having come to have a wild party on a Tuesday night.

It's mostly people sitting around tables or at large booths arranged around the walls, drinking and sharing intimate conversations. Some people are sitting on laps, some people are leaning in so close they might as well be kissing as they speak, and my brain subconsciously just starts picking out all the people wearing collars in the crowd.

You can tell who are the people who came here alone, curious about the whole scene and wanting to learn more for themselves, and the people who came together, or came to be together to add spice to a rather mundane evening with dark delights and forbidden passions.

"Oh. My. God. Liliana, Liliana, look!" Selvala prods me in the side with one of her nails before pointing it in the direction of the far wall, pulling my attention from the crowd and over to a large stage. A tightly packed group of people gather around it, looking up to see the show- and what a show it seems to be! It's what I expected in the back of my mind of what a BDSM club is supposed to be, but on a smaller, more intimate scale.

Two people- a man and a woman- are on stage, not exactly wearing the most skimpy of costumes, but they're definitely made for the sort of dance their doing- a performance meant to tantalize and excite the tastes of the clubs patrons who all seem to pay a bit of attention at least and every scrap of attention at most. There isn't anybody in the club who doesn't have their eyes on the performance, and now with me included. The woman's arms are bound and pulled over her head, a blindfold to carefully match her outfit around her eyes. Her legs are tied as well, drawn up to her chest and forced apart, but she doesn't seem to mind at all, and almost relishes in the fact she's been put in such a compromising situation in front of an audience. I can see her trusting smile and playful lip bite as her co-performer, the man, forces her to lift her head with his riding crop.

He has other ropes in his hands, obviously having more plans to make their little show a lot more entertaining. We're only watching it in it's early stages, right now they're just toying with us and with each other.

"Oh my god, is he going to beat her with that?" I hear Selvala whisper right into my ear as she huddles close, and I'm ripped from the fantasy. I remember I have a second person with me- a second person who is definitely not getting as low-key turned on as me from the performance. I catch a few other onlookers turn their heads to look at us and I become hyper aware of how I'm standing and how I'm breathing- and _especially_ how loud Selvala is whispering.

"What- _no_!" I mutter. "I mean, he might spank her a little bit, but this isn't a live torture session."

"It just looks so uncomfortable." Selvala points out. I want to point out that she looks the farthest thing from uncomfortable- what's really uncomfortable is how I feel, half-turned on and half-annoyed and completely in need of a drink. I restrain myself from getting as bitchy as I want to get, but I do at least gently push her a good few inches away from me.

"Look, I'm going to go sit at the bar, do you want to come along or-?" I begin to ask but an "ooooh" from the crowd gets Selvala's attention, and as much as I want to look too, I'm afraid I'll seem too interested and in to it. I'd rather not get into an awkward conversation about how I find all of this horribly arousing, not in public, not here and _definitely_ not with Selvala. I goddamn wish I could look though, it certainly sounds like things are getting good.

"No way, I gotta get a closer look at this!" She tells me before hurrying off towards the stage. I want to get closer, too, I really do, but I'd rather do this sort of thing by myself- or at least, with more appropriate company. I watch Selvala go, catching a glimpse of what looks like very intricate, complex rope work being set up before I turn in the direction of the bar, which, lucky me, isn't too occupied with the performance going on. I easily find a seat and am quick to get the bartender's attention.

"I'll have a rum and coke." I say, justifying that just one drink isn't going to send me into a humiliating, drunken spiral. And, against my better judgment, I look back toward the stage, where the woman has been lifted up into the air on a complex looking rig, and her partner is leaning in closer, forcing her to stretch her neck out as far as she can comfortably strain herself with the guidance of his riding crop.

Now that I'm alone I can relax, and now that I'm relaxed my mind can wander, and as I watch and get hopelessly transfixed by the stage performance, it wanders to what might happen over the weekend. A little voice in the back of my head tells me not to get my hopes up too high, but the rest of me is going crazy, formulating all sorts of fantasies and scenarios. I flash back to Marchesa's room- the one that started all of this- and try and figure out, from what I saw, what each little toy and rig in her collection is for.

"Anybody ever tell you that you have an adorable little lip bite?" A voice behind me asks with a chuckle, and I gasp loud enough to earn glares from people as I turn around to see the bartender sliding my drink across the bar top.

"Uh-uhm..." I stammer, noticing just how warm my face feels and catching just how red it looks in the reflective wall just behind the shelves of various bottles of liquor. The bartender is a skinny man in a dapper-looking dress-shirt and red-and-black-vest, with an undercut that leaves his hair tossed to one side of his head and slighty obscuring one side of his face and a trimmed beard that forms a sharp-looking point on his chin. All the silvery studs, both on his outfit and on various places on his face glimmer in the lights of the bar as he laughs- at me.

"I take it you're a first-timer? I don't think I've seen your cute face around." He says with a smirk that's both attractive and snide.

"Y-yeah... this is the first time I've come here." I say with a nod as I take my drink and slowly, awkwardly pull in closer. "I'm new to a lot of this, actually..." I mean, he at least called me cute, but I can't help but feel I'm also getting mocked, so all I can do in order to save what little pride I have with this total stranger is say I have no experience. Otherwise I'd be able to conduct myself a lot less like a nervous little lamb, I'm sure.

"Ah, then welcome, always glad to have fresh blood around here." He says knowingly with a flirty cock of his eyebrow. "I'm Tibalt, by the way- I actually own the place."

I don't know if I should feel better or worse that the guy who literally owns the fucking club is teasing me.

"I-I'm Liliana." I say as I take his hand he's offered and shake it. His hands are cold and incredibly large, easily wrapping around mine, as what I thought was a handshake turns into him taking my hand and gently kissing it. I'm so damn shocked by this that I wind up letting him do so, unable to think clear enough to pull my hand away.

"I couldn't help but notice you came with that... _other girl_ \- the loud one over there." He mentions as he releases my hand and nods in the direction of the stage. I turn to see Selvala, watching the show as close as she can get, looking both transfixed and horrified, like she's unsure of how exactly to feel. She's totally incapable of subtlety, and I can't help but take a drink to try and curb the effects of second-hand embarrassment over watching her, and the actual first-hand embarrassment that Tibalt knows I came with her. "Is she your partner, or... perhaps..." He leans over the bar slightly, resting his elbows on the polished wood. "... _Your domme_."

I have to restrain myself from spitting my rum and coke back into my glass.

"Wh- She- _no_!" I gasp before throwing my hands over my mouth. Tibalt's shoulders are shaking as he laughs as I calm myself down to keep from shouting my protests. "No, she's just a friend from work who wanted to see what this place is like- she's just a friend..." I pause, piecing together exactly what he had said now that I'm not rushing to deny that me and Selvala are romantically involved.

"And how come you just assume she would be my domme? I could be the dominant person in the relationship- you don't know." I try to hold myself with a bit of pride, but a snort from Tibalt brings everything crumbling down.

"Sorry, but you can't fool these eyes- once you see enough subs, you've seen them all- and honey, you have submissive princess written all over you." He laughs. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, I know a couple of folks who would trip over themselves to dominate a cutie like you. You have the looks to be a pretty hot commodity."

"Thanks... I think..." I accept his weird attempts at flattery with caution as I take another sip of my drink.

"Tibalt, what are you doing? Teasing one of your guests again?" Somebody says just to my right. "Make me a snakebite and leave her alone before she starts crying harassment."

"Well, well, well, don't we have a lot more bite today." Tibalt chuckles as he rolls his eyes. "Glad to see you in good spirits today, Judith."

"So long as you're a good boy and make me my drink- and a second rum and coke for the girl, on me."

I finally turn to face who has now sat beside me- a woman with pale-white skin and deep-red hair that falls around her shoulders and hangs partially in her face. She has thick, black eyeliner on and deep-red lipstick and the nails of her fingers she drums against her cheek are painted black as well. She has on a red corset that tightly wraps around her body but exposes her midriff and black, leather pants tucked into laced up boots that nearly reach her knees. She has an air about her that is both charismatic and intimidating, and I don't even know if I should talk to her, or if I'm at a level where she would even grace my words with a response.

"Th-thanks." I at least manage to say, and she hits me with a smile that sends a shiver up my spine. There's something darkly alluring about it, and it's intense enough to where I can hardly look at it for too long.

"No problem, always happy to buy a drink for cute girls like you." She says, her overwhelming smile still on her lips. I hope, at least, she takes the blush that is definitely on my face as just a reflection of the red interior of the club. "You must be new."

"Play nice Judith." Tibalt says over his shoulder, and Judith simply rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue.

"It's my first time here- a lot of this is new to me." I explain as I hold out my hand in greeting. "My name's Liliana."

"Liliana, what a beautiful name, it suits you." She says in a flirtatious way that would have knocked me onto my ass if I hadn't already been sitting. She takes my hand and, just like Tibalt, instead of shaking it she gently pulls it close and places a tender kiss against my skin- except this time it's hardly the shock that keeps me from pulling away. _Fuck, is this just how people greet each other here!?_ "My name's Judith, it's a pleasure to meet such a pretty new face at this musty, old club."

"Hey, try to badmouth this place when I'm not standing right here, okay?" Tibalt groans as he sets out drinks in front of us. "I'll have you know I've done quite a bit to spruce this place up. 'Musty, old' Club Rakdos is on the rebound under my ownership, you're just too caught up in your own, personal drama to notice my hard work."

"Hey, now, let's not air all my dirty laundry out in front of the new girl. Be a good boy and do your job and leave this one to me." Judith smirks.

"Fine, fine, just try to go easy on her- I don't want you chasing away a new potential customer." Tibalt sighs as he goes about his business, leaving the two of us alone.

"Oh, he doesn't have to worry about all that." She chuckles. "It would be a shame if your adorable little face only showed up around here for only one night." She pauses to take a sip of her drink, and I do the same, polishing off my first rum and coke before moving on to my second. Two drinks can't hurt, I'm not _that_ much of a lightweight.

"So, how much experience do you have with all this?" Judith asks as she sets her drink on the bar. She scoots a little closer and her knee knocks against mine. Up this close I can smell her perfume and the faint scent of cigarettes. "I saw you watching the performance, you obviously are _very_ interested."

"I... I haven't done much, but I have... well... done a little." I shrug, unable to shake my feeling of shyness as I try to vaguely explain. "I'm not a complete newbie."

"Well, you keep coming around here and you're sure to get more experience." Judith smiles slyly and I feel her run the toe of her boot up my leg flirtatiously "And, of course, as a long-time patron I'd be more than happy to explain anything to you that you're curious about."

I tightly press my lips together and steady my breathing. Judith is different from both Marchesa and Nissa- more intense, like standing next to a bonfire. She isn't subtle, and she doesn't hold back. My body reacts almost on it's own, drawn to her like a moth to a brilliant flame. I keep on telling myself I didn't come here to hook up with anyone- over and over again I tell myself, but the thoughts seem to get quieter and quieter around Judith whose very presence is loud and overwhelming.

I look down at my drink and take a long, deep sip of the bitter liquor. It's way stronger than the last one, but I gulp it down just the same.

"I... I do have a few things... if you don't mind of course."

Judith smiles a wide smile and narrows her eyes, more than pleased by my response.

"I don't mind at all. I'll indulge your tiniest curiosity and then some, Liliana."

** Marchesa **

The first thing I do after I get home, after I kick off my shoes and hang my jacket is immediately walk to my playroom. It's been so long since I've come here and flicked on the lights feeling anything but self-loathing and sadness. Now, looking at my expansive collection of toys and rigs that I spent way too much money on, I feel excited for the first time in months. My brain goes quickly to work, devising scenarios and games, and I feel like a new domme again.

I want to make things up to Liliana for what happened between us what felt like an age ago, but was really a little over a day. I want to show her a good time- lead her into my world with a comforting, guiding (and of course commanding) hand. I want to do so much it's almost overwhelming, I don't even know where to start.

"How do I feel about Liliana," is a thought that comes to mind as I'm looking through outfits, running my hands over latex, rubber and leather. It's a thought that finally breaks through my frantically-paced thoughts and gives me pause. What do I think will come of this What do I want out of this, other than to make up for last time?

_Should I even be this excited?_

I grab my phone from outside and pull up mine and Liliana's brief text conversation, considering possibly texting her to see if there's anything she might be interested in... or maybe ask her how her evening is going? Ask her to come over?

"No, no, Marchesa, stop..." I tell myself. I don't want to take things too far too soon. I don't want to ruin this fantasy where I can forget for at least a few more days that I'm Liliana's boss while I plan out the weekend. Until then, I can possibly be something more... someone who could...

I sigh, pulling myself away from my collection of outfits and turn my attention back to something else as I battle with my own feelings. Do I like Liliana? Of course I do, I wouldn't be so excited to do this with someone I hated! Do I _love_ Liliana?

My brain hard stops before I can even process an answer. Are these feelings in my heart love, or is it lust? Is it just excitement over finally being able to dominate someone at least once who won't take advantage of me or my feelings? I can't quite give my feelings a name, as much as I want to and as much as I feel I need to in order to ground myself. I pure part of me wants it to be love- a lonely part of me who wants to piece together my broken heart. Another pat of me more rooted in reality is skeptical.

But I at least do know that Liliana will eventually go looking for a domme- someone outside the office, someone who isn't me: her boss and also her ex. I don't know how much she knows, but it's safe to assume she doesn't know much, and I, at least, want to send her off with enough knowledge to know what to look for and what to expect. I know nothing about my feelings, and at this point it's a can of worms I don't want to get enveloped in, but I do know I want the best for her. I want to teach her- and tease her and punish her, and show her with my own two hands and the tools at my disposal about the pleasures waiting for her.

Picking out a whip I have hanging on the wall I go back to planning our weekend. If I keep on busying myself I won't get caught up in how I feel. I won't have to worry about where exactly my heart is wandering if I focus on my growing fantasies. I have almost a whole work week to come up with all sorts of scenarios and practice all sorts of lines. I don't have time to get caught up in how I feel, and things like love- or so I tell myself as I imagine how she'd react, bent over with her bare ass exposed, as I gently smack the leather strips of my whip against her skin. I imagine how she'll moan and squirm as I leave tiny red welts against her flesh.

"Don't think I haven't noticed your poor work ethic- perhaps you need to be taught a lesson. As your boss it's up to me to see that the people below me are kept in line, and sometimes things call for a bit of punishment."

I wander over to the bed set up in my playroom and flop down onto the firm mattress and bury my face against the red, silk sheets as my mind wanders. My fingers gently caress the inside of my thighs, still holding my whip in my other hand. I can still remember how soft Liliana's body is, and how her tiny, restrained moans drove me wild. I can still hear her breathlessly moan out "Mistress" if I focus hard enough. Soon, I won't have to strain myself so hard- soon, what she sounds like and how she feels will be fresh in my memory.

Unable to help it, I start to play with myself, pulling down my underwear that are already soaked through as I rub my clit and shallowly run my fingers along my slit. Chewing on my bottom lip as I spread my legs, I rub harder and push deeper, growing more and more excited and hot enough to where I'm afraid I'll melt.

"When I'm finished with you, you'll be more than obedient. I have ways of making sure you learn to follow orders, and if you take your licks and be on your best behavior, I'm just as willing to deal out rewards to people who do as I say."

My thoughts continue to run wild, only adding to my excitement. I can no longer hold back moans and my breaths are reduced to heavy panting. I want to punish Liliana, I want to make her mine- if only for a night or two. I want to exorcise every dirty thought and every lustful desire so I can really figure out if my feelings are either love or just plain lust, because right now, as I pleasure myself simply to thoughts and ideas, I have absolutely no idea.

I run my tongue along the smooth leather handle of my whip, tasting the earthy, fleshy flavor before taking it and pressing it against my soaking-wet pussy. Gasping weakly, I plunge the handle of the whip deep inside, easily able to slide it in with how shamefully wet I am. Loud moans are muffled by tightly-shut lips as I pull it out and thrust it back in again and again as I play through fantasy after fantasy.

I want to memorize Liliana's touch and her taste- I want to discover her limits and I even want to try my hand at breaking them. I want to drag her deep down into the depths of this world of pleasure and pain, and I want to hold her as she comes back up, moaning and gasping in my arms. I want... Liliana. I want all of her, even if it's temporary.

"Liliana... _Lili_!" I moan as I continue to roughly fuck myself with the handle of my whip. All I can think to do is call out her name as I arch my back, feeling myself growing closer and closer to climax. I can hear the moist sounds of the handle plunging deep inside me, and it only drives me more and more wild.

I can't properly form a cohesive thought any more, all I can think of now is how Liliana's face looks when she comes.

" _Oh, fuck, Lili_!" I cry as my entire body is overcome by my orgasm. I shamelessly shake and twitch as I continue to thrust, rocking my body with enough pleasure to almost drive me mad. I don't want to come down- I'm afraid of the conflicting feelings I'll have once my mind is clear. I'm afraid of having to face exactly how I feel about Liliana.

I'm afraid I'm falling in love with her all over again.

** Liliana **

Three rum and cokes is a bad idea for a weeknight, and right now I'm on number four. Judith is a perfect smooth talker, and in between our conversations that I normally would find way too intimate to share in public, she's bought me drink after drink. A lot of my attention now has to go towards not acting like a drunken mess while I stumble through our conversation about BDSM and all it's many wonders. The other chunk of it is focused on her ruby-red lips that are drawn up in a perpetual smile that's both disarming and hungry at the same time.

Judith knows a lot about BDSM and is able to carry the conversation while I asked slurred-out questions and vaguely detail my own, paltry experience. I'm amazed by her knowledge, and hang on every word. Part of me wonders if I would be as amazed as I am if I wasn't four drinks in to what feels like a very long night, but I don't linger on it all that much. I listen and absorb all that I can in my inebriated state, and Judith more than happily leads me along and feeds every little curiosity.

Selvala came over at some point, I can hardly remember. She had looked incredibly embarrassed and said she wanted to go. I can't even remember what I said- or if I said anything. Judith handled a lot of the talking, sending her away to keep me all to herself.

"Tell me, Liliana, how interested are you in rope-binding?" Judith asks right as my interest starts to wander and I'm sucking on ice cubes from out of my latest drink. I'm looking at just how much the club has cleared out, and am wondering exactly what time it is as well as just starting to realize how many empty glasses are in front of me- but as soon as she pops that particular question, my attention is right back onto her- back onto her ruby-red lips drawn up in an inviting smirk and her eyes with both her eyebrows raised in slight interest.

"I-I mean-" I flush, setting down my drink. "The few times I've done it I was bound... somewhat? Like my friend tied me to her bed at one point-"

"No, silly, not like that- and I don't mean that makeshift job you also mentioned before." Judith chuckles. _Oh, god, did I tell her about my wild office encounter!?_ I honestly can't even remember, I was rambling after my third drink! "I'm talking about real rope-binding- turning the simple art of tying a person up into a spectacle, like a dance. It's a lot more than taking some rope and tying it around their wrists, you know?"

She leans in closer and takes me by the wrists, and I can't help but lean in as well, letting her do whatever she wants and move my body like a puppet. With very little effort she pulls my hands up and holds them against the sides of my chest, and I can't help but imagine that her fingers are ropes.

"You allow someone to take your freedom, and in return they rend it from you in the most beautiful, intoxicating way. It's a ritual of trust- of giving up everything, and getting everything you've ever wanted in return." She continues, and I'm sucked in to her poetic words like a leaf treading water into a whirlpool.

"I... Is that right?" I question, my mind running a million miles a minute in a dozen different directions. One one hand, I've just met Judith- she knows a lot about BDSM and is more than happy to indulge my every question, but I've only _just_ met her. However, on the other hand, she gives off an energy that my mind and body both crave, and _fuck_ is she more than happy to be craved. I can tell by her more than willingness to share in more-than-casual skinship with me, how she speaks when she can tell I'm interested, and how she leans in, almost close enough to kiss, while she explains this tantalizing dance between ropes and freedom- or whatever. What can I say, my brain is mush at this point and _girl hot._

"I can show you, if you want." She whispers into my ear, and I nibble at my bottom lip as a shiver runs up my spine. It's a shiver that pulls me back to reality somewhat, and I draw away and regain control of my arms from Judith's grasp.

"What are you suggesting exactly?" I ask, and Judith only smiles. The way it feels, I'm a rabbit, she's a fox, and she's about to go on a very exciting, thrilling chase.

"To be truthful, I've been trying my hand at being a domme. I've given up control for so long, I want to also live that life where I get to take it and hold it in my hands. I'm just looking for the right person willing to be held at my mercy." She explains as she leans forward again, this time to reach out and take a strand of hair that's fallen over my shoulder. "And you... you're an adorable submissive looking for guidance. I can tell by your near-constant stream of questions that you want to know more- _feel_ more, and I want to indulge those desires."

She tugs on my hair just slightly, just enough to lead me back toward her so that she can let me go and rest her hand against my cheek. Somehow, I feel like she has more of a hold of me now than when she had a hold of my hair.

"Please, at least, let me lead you further into our private little world while you don't belong to anyone." She says softly. "Seeing such an innocent sub who has yet to taste all that this lifestyle gives makes me want to satisfy those cravings of yours."

In that moment, as she gently rakes her nails along the skin of my cheek, my mind clouded by alcohol thinks back to Marchesa. Marchesa my ex. Marchesa my boss. Marchesa, the woman who I don't belong to. Marchesa, whose permission I don't need- who isn't here, offering me yet another key to this sinful kingdom.

Judith smiles before I even speak, and it makes my already heavy blush deepen all the more.

"Please..." I mumble, and Judith's red, red lips part to reveal teeth as she smiles- teeth that she would use to bite into me, if I gave her permission.

This time, I'm the one who can anticipate what's coming next, like we're reading lines from a script.

"Please... _what_?" She asks.

"Please..." My tongue catches inside my mouth, and at first I struggle to speak. I wonder why the word is so difficult to say, even though I more than want to speak it. My brain craves what she's offering, but for a second something in my heart stops me. Judith raises her eyebrows expectantly, and I finally push out the rest of my response. "...Mistress."

"Perfect." She says breathlessly before pulling away and leaning over the bar.

"Hey, Tibs, mind if I borrow one of the side rooms?" She asks, but regardless of what he's going to say, she's already begun to stand and has reached out to take me by the wrist. I can feel her eagerness in her grip that's warm and firm, and I feel compelled to stand as well.

"What- Judith, you can't just-" Tibalt attempts to say as he turns away from a drink he's mixing.

"Thanks, you're a real pal!" She says, reaching right over the bar and kicking up a leg as she does so. When she rises back up and pulls away, she's holding a small ring of keys. It must not be that much of a large offense- that or Judith is a very close friend of the man who owns the club, because all he has are weak words of protest as Judith drags me away with her from the bar, leaving behind our empty glasses.

"Those rooms are for classes and demonstrations, not hook-ups!" He calls after us, but Judith simply waves his comment off.

I'm briefly reminded of the promise I had made to myself before I even came here, but it's such a distant memory to me now that it hardly matters. Selvala's gone, I'm more than a little drunk, and all I want is to experience the things that Judith explained with an almost obsessive reverence. I want to give up control in ways I never have, so, at least for tonight, I'll call yet another woman my Misteress.

Judith leads me to a room just off to the side of the stage. It seems to be one of a few doors that all probably lead somewhere different, but this particular one leads into a small room that looks like it's meant for very intimate meetings. The room itself is circular, a couch for seating curved all the way around it, from one side of the door all the way to the other. The floor is open, and an overhead light that Judith flicks on bathes the room in a warm, orange glow. It sort of reminds me of a very small circus ring, and I'm about to be tonight's entertainment.

"Tibalt's such a good boy- always letting me play with all his little toys." Judith chuckles as she walks to the side where what looks like a coat rack has been hung- although it's been re-purposed to hold a variety of different coils of rope instead of coats. She hastily makes a selection, pulling a long, red coil of rope from off the rack. "Such a good friend."

"What do I need to do?" I ask as I wander into the center of the room. A split second after I ask, Judith is upon me, pressing her body against my back as she reaches around to caress my chin and runs her fingers down my throat. Maybe it's the surprise mixed with the anticipation of what she's offered and the alcohol, but I moan at her touch, and I can feel her body shake as she laughs.

"You don't need to do anything but submit. Give me control over your freedom, and I'll do the rest." She explains flirtatiously as she takes me by the wrists and pulls my hands up to where my fingers brush against my shoulders. "Of course, should that be too tall a task for you, all you need to do is call out my safeword, and we'll be through here- and I'll win our little game."

Somehow, Judith has taken my awful competitive nature and squeezed it.

"And what word is that, Mistress?" I ask, leaning my head back and resting it slightly on her shoulder. Judith chuckles under her breath before answering, like she's telling me a very private secret.

"Rose."

Odd... wasn't that Marchesa's safeword? I'm incredibly drunk but I'm still pretty damn sure that's the case. Why does Judith have the exact same safeword? I feel like I'm the edge of a breakthrough before she speaks up.

"Is something the matter?"

Maybe it's just a coincidence- roses are very elegant, beautiful flowers, but grab them in the wrong way and they cause you a bit of pain. Maybe it's just a popular safeword among people in the BDRM-sphere, I have no real reason to get suspicious over it. It's just a word- a very powerful word, given the situation, but a word nonetheless.

"No, I just got... lost in thought for a second..." I excuse.

"Heh, well from here on, try and stay here with me. I want a... captive audience." Judith smirks, unraveling the rope with a quick flick of her wrist, the long coil coming to rest near my feet. "Everything, including your focus, is going to belong to me."

And fuck, is she ever right. The second she goes about binding my arms up against my chest, she has my full attention. The haze of the alcohol flows right out of my body, leaving behind a keen awareness of the bite of the rope against my skin- a sting that quickly becomes almost pleasurable and encourages me to struggle against my bonds the slightest bit. Judith pays this no mind as she intensifies our intimate ritual, looping the rope across my chest and crossing it behind my back. With every little twist of the rope around my body, the more my very movements become hers. She takes control of my arms, my neck, my body, my hips and my legs and I give up control of them one by one. The rope is criss-crossed around my body, digging into me and leaving behind marks that will leave behind traces long after our game is complete.

"That's a good girl- you're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Judith smiles, and I can feel her breath against my ear. "The wonderful pleasures of subspace are a dive away, so why don't you take the plunge?"

I bite my lip hard as I feel her run the rope between my legs and pulls it taut. It digs into my underwear and presses itself and rubs against my privates. If feeling the tight bind of the rope against my arms and body drove me wild, this nearly made me melt- and Judith is quick to take advantage of this as she gives the rope a quick, rough jerk. I gasp, but I can hear her laugh just below it.

"Now, kneel for your Mistress." She commands, the tug of the rope almost naturally guiding me onto my knees and forcing my body to fold forward. I can feel her loop the rope behind my back, pulling at it once again and dragging the rope between my legs even close, up against my crotch that I can feel growing wet from both the rough contact of the rope and the overwhelming situation I've found myself in.

And through how absolutely hot I'm getting, I feel an almost intoxicating feeling of comfort. Through the rush I can feel an odd sense of calm, unable to move my arms or raise my head. It feels almost right being forced to the floor, unable to do anything but await my Mistress' demands and the tug of the rope. I don't want this game to end, I don't want to come up for air. I just want to keep sinking deeper and deeper down into what I now truly know as subspace.

"What a good pet you make." Judith teases, and I can feel her run the toe of her boot against my crotch, pressing the rope against me and shifting it around slightly. "Makes me wish Tibalt kept other toys in here aside from rope- we have a little bit more time before last call, we could honestly have some fun."

"But, didn't Tibalt say-"

"Now, who gave you permission to speak?" She interrupts me, and I gasp as I feel her press against the rope between my legs, this time with the bottom of her boot. For the first time since we started, the pain I feel is just pain, but my brain is way too fried to remember what to do in this situation, and she doesn't press for too long. "Inside this room, there is no Tibalt. There is no higher power other than me, and no rules other than my own- and my only rule is for you to obey."

Unable to help uttering a needy moan, I feel her pull the rope from between my crotch and back around to where I can see it. Judith walks around in front of me, and the pull of the rope forces me to sit up a little straighter. I lift my gaze from off the floor to look up at her: My cruel, all-powerful mistress who will take until I have nothing else to give. Through the haze of desire and heat, I feel a twinge of fear as she gives me a cruel, plotting smirk.

"So let's have a bit more fun before the ticking clock of closing time ends our playtime." She says as she reaches up to unbutton her pants, and I watch as she pulls them down, along with her underwear, until they're passed her boots. Every inch of her is exposed as she spreads her legs apart just enough, and I'm at just the right angle to see it all. "Since we've established me as your Mistress for the evening, why not have you serve me?"

I watch, completely captivated as she runs the length of the rope between her legs and pulls it up behind her and over her shoulder. She pulls the rope taut and I'm forced to stumble forward until my face is practically pressed up against her crotch. I can smell her carnal, warm scent, and it arouses me, leaving me in a state of erotic hypnosis.

"W-wait..." I mutter breathlessly, my soft words of protest tickling her, judging by how I swear I hear her breath hitch. "Mistress... don't."

 _Words like "no" or "stop" are only used as fuel for the fire._ I repeat Marchesa's words in my head and put them to practice, my lips brushing against the outer lips of Judith's vagina.

"You'll do as your Mistress says, my pet." Judith says, her words a half moan as she gives the rope a commanding tug. "And her commands to you are to lick her clean. So stop your protest and put that mouth to better use!"

Her raising her voice is all the motivation I need as I run my tongue along her slit. I start slow, but I'm so overcome by a feeling of lust that I can't keep up a slow pace for very long. At a speed that even surprises the last bits of rationality that cling to the back of my brain, I'm eating her out like she's my first meal I've had in days. I lick and slurp and nibble in a manner that someone of a sounder mind would find shameful, but Judith does nothing to stop me or tease me for how quickly I've been consumed in licking every inch of her pussy. She doesn't speak any commands, but the way the grabs a handful of my hair and moans are commands enough, and that is to keep going.

"Oh... oh _fuck!_ " She gasps, knees buckling a bit. "Quite the eager little plaything... aren't you?"

My only regret now, as I sloppily attack Judith with my tongue, is that my arms are still bound. I wish so very badly that I could reach between my own legs and give in to my own burning need to be pleasured. I moan against Judith, a throbbing tingle growing between my own legs as I unconsciously thrust my hips.

"Nnng..." Judith moans, throwing back her head as she shivers. "Oh god... oh fuck, I'm gonna cum!" It sounds so odd to hear her voice quiver like it does. For the first time since we met, there's weakness in her voice, and it's while she's seconds away from climax. "I-I'm... Aahn!"

Her tiny moan can only be described as adorable as she takes my head with her one hand and presses my face up against her pussy. She thrusts into my mouth as she clearly begins to put more of her weight on me, using me as a crutch to keep from falling to her knees. As her body quivers and twitches I continue to lick and nibble until she forces me away.

_Oh god, how I want to experience my own orgasm! I want my own release so bad at this point I'm going to go crazy._

"What a naughty little tongue you have..." Judith pants. "Such an impressive show deserves a bit of a reward..."

_Yes! Yes!_

"Hey, stragglers, we're closing up for the night!" Tibalt's voice suddenly interrupts us from the other side of the door as he raps his knuckles against the wood. "I can't have you hanging around after hours- not this time. 'You don't have to go home but you can't stay here' and all that!"

_No! Dammit, no!_

"Shit, guess that's curtains." Judith weakly chuckles. "Give us a minute, we're in no shape to be tossed out just yet- unless you want us to be arrested for indecent exposure!"

"Wh- Judith, what did I fucking say before you ran off!?" Tibalt groans. "Just... just hurry up then, I'm not gonna burst in there, but I really need you to make yourself decent and leave."

"Sorry, Tibs, I don't listen well to subs!" Judith mockingly calls before turning her attention to me. "Sorry, that reward's gonna have to wait. I hope my words of high praise will suffice for now."

"Damn..." I mutter with a forced grin, trying not to look and sound as disappointed as I feel. A feeling of exhaustion hangs over me and I can do nothing but watch as Judith pulls up her pants and starts to undo her binding work. I feel like I'm not quite real, like a doll that just got through with being played with and is about to be shelved. It's a weird feeling, and it reminds me almost of my first encounter between me and Marchesa, when she broke things off and sent me away into the cold, unfeeling night.

"Don't look so sad, you're making me feel bad." Judith chuckles as she crouches down so the two of us are face to face, the entire length of rope now neatly coiled in her hand.

"Gee, I'm _so_ sorry..." I grumble, holding back none of my discontent despite how much I want to. I'm caught up in my thoughts that are rushing like a river: how long it's going to take to hail a taxi, how I'm four drinks into a night where I haven't even had dinner, how much I want to feel warm and loved but instead I feel like a used tissue someone threw away that missed the garbage can- you know, _logistical things_.

Much to my surprise, I feel the warm sensation of Judith resting her hand against my cheek. She looks at me like I've said something utterly adorable and, unable to hold herself back, she presses her lips against mine. I can only imagine I have her own taste all over my mouth, but she doesn't seem to mind as she runs her tongue along my lips, gently coaxing me to part them. It's a kiss you would begin a night of passion with, and yet she gives me a deep, smothering kiss to cap things off, leaving me with a jolt of energy that I had originally felt bleed completely from me before. Lips press against lips, and tongues brush against tongues before she overtakes and overwhelms me, and I forget everything except for the sweet taste of her saliva.

"Let's not part ways just yet, I'd hate to simply set you free without having you experience the greatest aftercare the world can offer." She says with a smile as our lips part, leaving me breathless.

"What... would that be? We're kind of getting kicked out..." I ask, turning to the door that Tibalt is no doubt lurking just outside of, waiting for us to leave so he can close up.

"Oh, we don't have to do it in here- I'm pretty sure Tibalt would prefer I didn't." Judith chuckles as she stands and offers me her hand. As I take it, she yanks me onto my feet and pulls me close, pressing a finger against my lips the second I open my mouth to speak. She shushes me, like I'm an impatient child, as she runs her hand down the length of my back and stops to gently squeeze my behind- which does a lot better a job in shutting me up than her finger against my lips is doing. "Come with me, I'll show you."

"I hope you didn't leave me a mess to clean up." Tibalt sighs as the both of us exit, Judith draping her arm over my shoulders and holding me close to her. She seems perfectly content, all smirks and laughter, and all I can do is blush and look at the floor.

"Don't you worry, Tibs, it was a very _clean_ demonstration." Judith snickers. "See you tomorrow?"

"Same kink time, same kink channel." Tibalt sighs through a smile. "Go ahead and head out the front, I'll lock up behind you."

"Have you known Tibalt long?" I ask as we leave. The streets are completely deserted, and it feels like we're the only ones awake in this city. These streets and the night belong only to us, and even though we're out of the tiny side room, out of the club and out in the sprawling streets of the city, everything still feels incredibly intimate.

"'Long' would be an understatement. I knew him way before he was the nosy club owner he is today. He's a real hardass, but he's been a very good friend to me, especially since I..." She pauses and her expression hardens. The energy around her drastically changes and I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable being so tightly wrapped in her embrace. However, as fast as the moment comes, it passes, as Judith shakes her head and clicks her tongue. "Whatever, it's old news, but Tibalt's been there for me through all of it."

The office gossip in me wants to pry, but I keep my mouth shut as she leads me around the side of the building and into the shadows.

"I know the usual song and dance of aftercare is that we cuddle and float back to normalcy on a cloud, or whatever, but I've never been one for snuggles and pillow talk. I don't like sitting still, even at the end of a game. For me, what _I_ find comforting, is the wind whipping me hair and biting my skin to help me feel alive, and the freedom of the open road. I need that rush to remind me I'm human- cuddling and kisses only ever make me feel like I'm way too precious." She stops and motions for me to look at a motorcycle, painted just as red as her lips. "Maybe you'll find that certain 'rush' is more to your liking."

"I-I've never actually ridden a motorcycle before." I say, trying my best to hold back sounding like I'm nervous.

"Well, then tonight's going to be filled with all sorts of firsts for you." Judith laughs as she unlocks the box attached to the back of the motorcycle and pulls out a helmet. With a quick toss she hands it off to me, and I nearly drop the thing as I clumsily catch it in my hands. "All you need to do is hold on tight, the rest you can leave to me. It's almost like BDSM in itself, if you think about it- putting trust in someone to take you on a wild ride, and delivers you to the end safe and sound."

"And sometimes a cigar is just a screaming metal deathtrap." I mutter, holding the helmet close to my chest as I eye her motorcycle with a mistrusting look.

"Don't knock it till you try it. And, in the end, if you're unsatisfied, I'll give you all the mushy cuddles ad kisses you want. But, you won't know until you hop on, hold on, and let me take you for the ride of your life." Judith grins as she swings her leg over the seat and beckons me over with an outstretched hand. "Also, it's either this or waiting around for a cab this time of night all by yourself, so..."

"Fine, fine, let's get this 'aftercare' on the road." I say as I hop onto the back of her bike. I can't quite fit my entire butt safely onto the seat unless I press my body up extremely close to Judith's back, but even with how close I scoot myself, she still looks back at me and tells me,

"You'll have to get even closer than that."

"If I press myself against you any more, we might as well fuse into one another." I complain, but do as I'm told. There's very little doubt she can feel my chest pressed tight against her back, and my crotch up against her behind- but I also feel that's kind of the point in all this, so I try to ignore my blush as I give her my address.

"Alright, princess, hold on tight. You're about to feel freedom how it was truly meant to be felt." She says, her voice hardly climbing over the roar of the engine as she turns on the ignition. I wrap my arms around her, right below her chest, and bury my face into her back. It's too late to back out now, and a part of me doesn't want to go home with this empty feeling sitting like a weight in my chest. I lift up my legs from off the ground and, for a second, it feels like I'm floating.

And then, I'm _flying_.

With another loud roar, we're off, speeding out of the alley and peeling out onto the street without even a single bit of fear of oncoming traffic. There isn't a gradual build of speed- we're already rushing forward the second we hit the open road, and from there, the only option is to go even faster. At first, I'm afraid to look up or open my tightly shut eyes. I can feel the wind rushing past us, and it bites at my exposed skin- I can feel how fast we're going, and I can only imagine how it looks. I _want_ to only imagine how it looks!

Judith whooping into the air excitedly is what finally drives me to open my eyes and look out at the world rushing passed us. We're zipping passed buildings and street lights and running through traffic lights down this deserted city street. The city I normally see half asleep, or sitting in traffic, zips by energetically as nothing but a blur of lights and shapes. It's dizzying and frightening... and yet I can feel the heaviness inside my chest begin to lighten, as if it were being shaken off by our high-speed dash through this sleeping city. I dare to pull away just barely enough to look up at the buildings that tower above us as we pass them by at incredible speed. Suddenly, I'm overcome by a wild, um-tamable energy, and I shout into the night air jubilantly.

_I'm free. I'm alive!_

* * *

 

"Sorry for taking the scenic route, you probably need your beauty rest." Judith laughs as I clumsily hop off her motorcycle and back onto the ground. It feels like I'm being weighed down after soaring on the back of Judith's bike, and I can hardly even take a step.

"No, it's fine, I don't normally get a lot of sleep, anyway." I assure her as I take off the helmet and hand it back to her.

"Now _that's_ a smile." Judith teases. "I take it you liked my particular brand of aftercare?"

"I..." I begin to say, but I can't quite tell. My thoughts are still racing, even though we've stopped. I settle, instead, on saying, "It was amazing!"

"Isn't it?" Judith says with a smirk. "Next time you want to feel incredible again, give me a call. I promise, we'll get up to more than just ropes."

"Wait, hold on, I don't have your number-" I begin to say as I go to reach for my phone, but before I can even grab it, Judith reaches out and takes me by the arm. Much to my surprise, she has a pen- I have no idea where she was even keeping it, or perhaps she had planned for this sort of thing to happen all along, and just had it on her in preparation. She uncaps it with her teeth before writing down a phone number down the length of my arm in big, bold, black numbers, so that it stretches from my wrist to my elbow.

"And now you do." Judith smiles as she caps her pen and slips it back into her pocket. "Hit me up the next time you want to feel a real rush."

"O-okay..." I nod, staring down at my arm before the empowered noise of Judith's engine fills the quiet night air. Looking up in surprise, I'm graced with one, last shock as she leans in and presses a quick kiss against my lips. I see a flash of her grin as she pulls away, and it leaves me feeling smitten as she slips on her helmet and speeds off into the night. I stand on the curb outside my apartment building, watching her go until I can no longer see her taillights before slipping quietly inside.

My body is overflowing with energy as I climb the stairs, and halfway to my floor I know I'm not going to be able to get immediately to bed. I'm awake as ever, and my heart pounds against my chest. I can still feel the last touch of Judith's lips against mine, and the memory alone is enough to excite me. Judith herself excites me, like some sort of human caffeine shot. She's new and she's different, and my brain can't quite find the right way to wrap around the idea of her. The sexual part of me longs for her to truly dominate me, to let her take away every single one of my senses until I'm left with only her touch to guide me- but the rational side of me tells me I should be afraid.

Stumbling into my apartment, I kick off my heels and wander into my bedroom, not bothering to flick on any of the lights. I don't even bother to remove my dress as I flop onto my bed with a heavy sigh- my body, at least, recognizing exhaustion when it feels it. But my mind is still racing and leaving me feeling restless as I lift up my arm and read back the number scrawled across my skin.

"Judith..." I sigh as I look even harder, seeing the faint red marks against my skin left behind by the rope. The memory alone is enough to turn me on as I reach down, between my legs.

 _My long, long night is far from over_.


	5. Rising Heat

** Liliana **

On nice, warm days like these, I usually take the opportunity to wear much more light pieces in my wardrobe. I enjoy being able to show off my arms in short sleeve blouses and getting to wear skirts that are shorter and less stuffy- being able to turn heads in an office that mostly consists of men is one of life's simple pleasures, and it's one I take advantage in as much as I can. But today, I couldn't be more covered even if I tried. Jacket sleeves up to my knuckles, the darkest blouse I can find, long skirt and dark leggings- I'm dressed like a meek office woman lacking in confidence today, and really I have only myself to blame.

The ropes from the other night have left faint but very incriminating bruises all down my arms and legs, and I'm afraid if I dared to even wear a white blouse that you'd be able to see the pattern of the rope criss-crossed across my chest. Starting and spreading gossip is how we thrive here in the working world when all we have is our cubicles and our computers, and there is very little doubt that, if I came into work flaunting the very incriminating marks of someone who spent her evening getting tied up, word would get out faster than I could even breath. I hate missing my chance to wear lighter clothes, but I'd hate being the object of ridicule even more.

That and I couldn't scrub off Judith's phone number from off my arm completely. If I pull back the sleeve of my jacket, I can still see the beginnings of her area code- which is something I've been doing pretty much all day, taking breaks to recall the memories from last night, like little samples of private joy throughout my day. I still don't know how to think about all that, and I still don't know what to think about Judith. But, I have her number now- on my phone and stained on my arm- so I'll probably get the chance to get to know her a little better if I ever get the balls to ever call her.

_Maybe after this weekend, I'll..._

"Okay, seriously, the fact you're still not spilling a single detail about last night is pissing me off now!" Selvala says as we walk into the coffee shop together. I feel like a veritable nun next to her in her short sleeved, floral blouse with the plunging neckline and short skirt- hell, even Jace opted to wear a short-sleeved shirt and forgo a jacket today- but that doesn't seem to be the topic of interest so, at least, I don't have to fumble my way through an awkward explanation.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I give Nissa and Chandra behind the counter a wave.

"You little tease- I'm talking about that girl who I left you with last night at that kink club!" Selvala groans.

"God, could you not shout the words 'kink club' in the middle of a cafe?" I mutter. _So much for not having to fumble through an awkward explanation._

"Liliana met a girl?" Jace asks, sounding the slightest bit interested as we sit down, and Selvala takes that tiniest bit and feeds on it like she's starving.

"Yeah, this real bad-ass looking chick with red hair and leather pants!" She explains. "At first I thought she was trying to shake her down or something, but she looked like she was having a _really_ good time, if you know what I mean. She sent me home all by myself so she could keep talking to her."

"This is still at that weird kink club, right? The BDSM one?" Jace inquires, raising an eyebrow as he turned to me and I roll my eyes in annoyance. At this point, Selvala is going to tell the story for me anyway- Me and my story about who I talk to (which should really be my own damn business) are just along for the ride.

"Yeah! And Liliana was just chatting up this dominatrix-looking bitch like it was _nothing_!" Selvala continued. "And she never even bothered to call me afterward to tell me what went down after I left, so I had to spend my entire night and the whole work day guessing and worrying about what sort of things they got up to!"

"Sorry for not filling you in about every detail of my life, _mom_ \- and what makes you think we did anything!?" I ask, and I can hear myself getting way too defensive way too fast. I can tell by Selvala's smirk that she's picked up on this, and she's not about to let it go easily.

"Oh, come on, Lili, we're all adults here." She says with a chuckle.

"Debatable." I hear Jace say under his breath, but Selvala has no time to get distracted by his snide comment, with all her focus being on me and who I hook up with, apparently.

"I left pretty late into the night, and you and her were still sitting there, sharing drinks- it was like I wasn't even there at all! You were too busy making googly-eyes at miss tall, dark and dominant to even say goodbye." Selvala continues her assault, and I find myself self-consciously tugging at the inside of my sleeves to keep them from slipping down.

"I'm pretty sure that was just me being drunk." I grumble as I narrow my eyes. I have to come up with something, and fast, before she sinks her fangs in too deep to where she'll never let go until she gets the juicy bits of gossip she wants. "She just treated me to one-too-many drinks, and I was too nervous to say no. We did nothing but talk, and didn't get up to anything weird, alright? Do you really think I'd hook up with a stranger at a bar after a few drinks? We're not in college anymore, you know?"

Inside my head, a voice is chiding me, because that's literally what I did. Judith reeled me in with tempting words and promises to indulge in my still fresh, new-found desires and I didn't even put up a fight. But I can't let Selvala know that- or Jace, or everyone else within ear shot in this cafe, for that matter! Maybe one day I'll tell her, but it's not going to be today- not in a crowded cafe, and not with how a woman I hardly knew seduced me, tied me up and had me eat her out.

_Now that I think about it, that sort of thing has been happening a lot lately..._

"Come on, you didn't even share a _kiss_?" Selvala asks, sounding more let down than she really should about something that shouldn't even be her business.

"You're getting awfully caught up in Liliana's personal life- what, is you sex life really that uninteresting that you're trying to vicariously live through someone else?" Jace asks with a mocking chuckle- my unlikely hero.

"I don't see you getting any either, Beleren." Selvala snaps, and at first, it looks like Jace is about to genuinely answer. And, as shameful as it is to hope so, Jace being involved with a guy we've never met who works at a gym would certainly turn the subject away with whether or not I was involved in a drunken hook-up at a BDSM club, so I certainly wouldn't mind him coming clean about it unceremoniously, here and now. Unfortunately, he doesn't get the chance as Nissa arrives, serving us all our usual drinks- and apparently she's been listening in.

"What's this about Liliana hooking up with someone?" She asks, looking over at me with a very interested grin. She doesn't seem to mean anything by it, and honestly as someone who I've been recently sexually involved with, who knows a whole lot more and then some about my personal tastes, she has a little bit more of a right to know than Selvala, whose only after a new piece of fresh, hot gossip. I just wish she'd asked me in private, instead of stoking the fires in the runaway train that is Selvala's thirst for a juicy story.

"Nissa, Nissa, please, you _have_ to hear this!" Selvala gushes. "Me and Liliana went to this weird BDSM club last night-"

"Which we don't have to shout about at the top of our lungs." I interrupt her through an embarrassed groan.

" _Whatever_ \- but the real news is that Liliana was flirting with this really intimidating looking chick at the bar and the two of them stayed there long after I left! You should have seen her, Nissa, this girl was the whole dominatrix package, and out little Lili was absolutely _smitten_!" Selvala practically squeals. Is she happy for me, or she happy to finally have this big a story to gossip about her inner circle of friends, because I honestly can't tell as I bury my face in my hands.

"Look, my feelings aside, we didn't _do anything_! We just talked until closing time, and she drove me home because she felt bad she got me drunk on a weeknight. _So_ sorry if you were hoping I got up to some wild, kinky fuckery while you were gone." I groan.

"God, Lili, you're so... oh, what do those weirdos call it... _'Vanilla'_?" Selvala teases me, and it pains me just how ironic that I- the person whose gotten up to way more kinky shit in the past few days than she probably has her entire life- am being called "Vanilla" by the woman who is probably the very definition of the word.

"So, a BDSM club, huh?" Nissa questions, latching on to the one part of our conversation that has the least amount to do with me and and the potential sex life I may or may not have.

"U-um... yeah." Selvala nods, a little taken back by the question.

"So, what did you think of it?" She asks her, leaving me to relax into my chair and enjoy my afternoon coffee.

"Think of _what_?" Selvala asks, her shoulders stiffening the slightest bit.

"Oh, you know what. Did you see anything there that interested you? It couldn't have been _all_ weird and bad." Nissa laughs, and I can't tell if she's teasing her or if she's legitimately asking. Maybe she's looking for another member to drag into our secret inner circle of girls who are into collars and ropes.

"Wh-well, I mean, there was this live performance while we were there- everyone was really in to it..." Selvala begins to explain, running her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. "I don't really know how to feel- it was interesting but... I don't think I could stand being strung up by ropes for that long, and I'm really not a fan of pain, at all."

"So maybe you'd rather be the one dishing it out?" Nissa asks, at least this time sounding more like she's playing with her.

"Ooh, now _that_ I can see." Jace joins in, mostly just to fuck with Selvava who quickly looks like she's had it.

"Ew, Nissa, _please_ stop!" She groans. "I went to that silly club one time, that doesn't suddenly make me... no, there's no way. I've had my fill, and that's that." She shakes her head and takes a long sip of her coffee, muttering something none of us can hear into her cup.

"Not a very big fan of being on the receiving end of people gossiping about you, huh?" I ask her with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up, Lili." She groans with rosy cheeks, and I finally allow myself to laugh after feeling stuffed up and nervous all day.

"Well, let me know next time you ladies decide to go back- I'd love to tag along and take a look for myself." Nissa says with a teasing smile as she leaves us be with a playful wave.

"Which we _aren't_!" Selvala denies, but Nissa only responds with a chuckle and a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Aww, don't feel like taking a walk on the wild side anymore?" Jace asks with a mocking tone.

"I don't want to hear that from the man who turned the chance to go down faster than if he'd been offered poison." She grumbles. "It was a lot more interesting than I first thought but I don't think I need to go- Hey, what's that?" Her eyes are locked on me and I freeze mid-sip of my coffee. I suddenly become very aware of my breathing.

"... What's _what?_ Do I have something on my face?" I ask, my lips the only part of me that's willing to move under her intense gaze.

"No, on your arm." She corrects me.

 _Oh,_ fuck _me!_

"Wh- I-It's nothing! I just slept on it weird, it's probably just a bruise!" I immediately start throwing out excuses as alarm bells go off in my head. _We don't want to tell Selvala about our kinky lifestyle over coffee- I repeat, we don't want to have to explain to Selvala all the fun ins-and-outs about our new life as a sub over coffee in a crowded coffee shop! Abort mission! Get out of there!_

"That definitely doesn't _look_ like nothing- it looks like a phone number!" Selvala accuses as I roll up my sleeve. "That girl from last night gave you her phone number, didn't she! You did hook-up, didn't you!"

I don't know whether to be relieved, or to be just as panicked and ready to flee into the streets.

"Just because I got her number doesn't mean we did anything, Selvala!"

"So it _is_ her phone number!" She gasps, a wide smile on her face. "You gotta tell me about her- tell me _everything_!"

It honestly wasn't even that hard of a work day- and the weather outside is still so beautiful, I even considered taking a walk- but now I feel so exhausted I'm more than ready for a nap. And, as I turn down Selvala's attempts to uncover juicy tid-bits about my night with Judith, a single thought comes to mind:

_The weekend can't come fast enough._

** Marchesa **

I don't know what I was expecting, but Club Rakdos hasn't changed. I've been away only a few, good months, but it's felt like so much longer, I expected it to look different. It's been such a wild couple of months, it's felt like years, and I can't help but feel out of my element as I walk in, still dressed in my work clothes. I look like I'm there to do some business with the owner instead of enjoy the club scene in my white shirt, dark-red blazer and black dress pants- not to say I'm not, but it's a whole different kind of business, and it involves alcohol.

There's not quite that many patrons yet, it being still early into the evening, but it looks like they're setting up for quite the production on stage. A lot of the performers are long-time patrons and friends of Tibalt who enjoy the rush of living out their fantasies in front of an audience. I don't think I'd ever be able to do something like that, no matter how deep into this whole kink business I sink. I like intimacy, privacy and not having my tits hanging out in front of an audience. Not that Tibalt hadn't really pushed for Judith and I to give it a go...

I sit myself at the bar, not drawing too much attention to myself at first. I want to at least drink this old place in and let the vibe of the place seep back into my bones. It feels new, and so do I, like it's my first time setting foot in this place. I almost feel out of place, like perhaps I kept myself away for too long, and the worry of that being the case almost kept me away tonight. But I wanted to visit, with this weekend with Liliana looming over my head. I need to get back into my element- and I also don't want to go home and immediately obsessively plan again. Whatever excuse I have for being here, I'm here now, sitting at the bar while Tibalt's back is to me, unaware of my presence.

"Excuse me." I finally call out, lifting my hand in a further attempt to get his attention. "Could I get a gin and tonic over here?"

"One gin and tonic coming u- _uh_ -!" Tibalt begins to say as he turns around, his best customer-service smile on that quickly falters the second we meet eyes. "Oh my _god_!"

"Hey." I say with a meek smile and a slight wiggle of my fingers. Tibalt looks from side to side, like he's looking for signs that I'm apart of some sort of prank, before he allows himself to truly greet me and begins to crack a smile.

"Holy shit, no joke, I thought you were a ghost." He jokes.

"Well, consider your club haunted." I quip back. "If you've got any chains lying around, I can rattle them."

"H-how have you been!? You... you're here! Like... physically _here_ , in my club!" He gasps. "I'm not dreaming, am I? I'd better not be, I have a business to run!"

"I can pinch your cheeks for you, if you want." I offer jokingly as I chuckle. "I'm here- I promise, this is just as real for me as it is for you."

"Oh my _god_ , Marchesa- I knew you couldn't stay away forever! Finally got back up on that horse, after all that talk about not having time and not being strong enough- you really had me thinking you were calling it quits. But, it looks like I was right, just like I always am." He smirks as he leans enthusiastically over the bar. Whatever task I had caught him in the middle of, it certainly doesn't matter all that much now. "And, if you're still offering, I could still go for that cheek pinch."

"Only if it's the ones on your face." I laugh.

"God, I missed you- like all jokes aside, you just made my night just by showing up. First rounds on me, to celebrate the return of our queen." Tibalt says as he goes about grabbing a glass for my drink.

"Damn, I should have ordered something a little more fancy, then." I say with a smirk.

"So, what brings you here tonight? Finally putting yourself back out on the market- I'm more than happy to help and play matchmaker, you know." Tibalt asks.

"Not so much, I'm kind of... in the middle of something for now..." I explain, and he throws a very curious look over his shoulder.

"So you went off and found a sub without me?" He asks, failing to sound even sarcastically offended through his overwhelming curiosity. "So who's the one lucky enough to serve under you now?"

"I-It's not like that... I think... It's complicated, I guess you could say." I explain, tapping my nails nervously against the polished wood of the bar top. "We met through really... rough circumstances, and I don't even know how she feels about me. I don't want to get in too deep myself... I'm still a little sore from the whole Judith thing, you know?"

"By that blush on your cheeks, I'd say you're already at least up to your waist in it." He points out. "So what do you plan on doing with this mysterious Miss Complicated?"

"I don't want to fool myself in thinking I have a future with her, like I said, I really don't know if she feels anything for me, or if she's just attracted to me as a domme." I sigh. "But, we are planning on getting together this weekend- I kind of promised her I'd treat her to a good time to make up for something I did to her... So I guess that's something."

"You sound like a kinky little girl with a crush, and let me tell you, it's cute enough to get me swooning." Tibalt teases as he sets my drink down in front of me. "Surely you're hoping for something to come out of all this. If I remember correctly, our Marchesa is someone who doms out of love- you're not the type to just go out and tie up _whoever_."

"I just... don't want to get hurt again, and I don't want to hurt _her_ again, that's all." I say as I nod my head in thanks for the drink and take a small sip. "So long as I can make it out with just that, I'll be happy."

"Funny, you don't sound very happy." He remarks. "If you get the chance, you should pull yourselves away from your playroom this weekend and bring her to the club. We'd love to meet her- or, at least, _I_ would."

"Don't get your hopes up, Tibs, I don't want to force her into anything too fast. If she gets exposed to too much so soon, she might end up like..." I pause, refusing to let myself finish my sentence, but the look that Tibalt gives me lets me know that I don't have to. He knows very, _very_ well what I was about to say, and god forbid I ruin our reunion by bringing up the past. Instead, I take a long sip of my drink before turning around towards the stage.

"Looks like you're setting up for some real fun." I comment with a smirk. "Who's on the menu tonight? Kaya and Teysa? Nahiri and whatever pour soul she's dating now?"

"Would you believe me if I said Regna and Krav?" Tibalt asks with a chuckle.

"What- _no way_! You finally pushed them into performing? So, on top of being the owner of a club, you're a miracle worker now?" I gasp as I spin back around in my chair in surprise.

Regna and Krav were a loving married couple long before they stumbled upon Tibalt's club and all the forbidden delights that come with it. They're very enthusiastic about spicing up their love life and are also probably more in love with each other than anyone else in history. The honeymoon phase wasn't just a phase for them- they bought up real estate and decided to never leave. And, while they took to the whole BDSM lifestyle like ducks to water, I can hardly imagine them doing anything but cuddling and sweet-talking, let alone getting up on stage with the most ridiculous rig Tibalt has on hand to play out their fantasies for an audience.

"Hey, I'll have you know that _they_ approached _me_ about it, not the other way around. They have quite a show planned tonight, and were _very_ excited to try." Tibalt corrects me. "...Probably just as excited as they are to see you."

"Excited as _what_?" I ask as I turn around to see that very couple of love birds has flanked me on either side- and Tibalt wasn't lying, they look absolutely _ecstatic_ to see me.

Regna is a short woman who comes up to my shoulders with thick, wavy hair and chocolate-brown skin. However, for as petite and cute as she looks, Regna is almost all muscle, and used to be a professional body-builder before she got married. Now a-days she's a personal trainer and brags about how often she works with B-list celebrities. Her complete opposite, Krav, stands well over a head taller than me, keeps his hair cropped incredibly short to where it's always a fine stubble and looks like he has a mean streak with the build to back it up. However, in reality, he's the type of guy who gets choked up at the slightest thing and is the very definition of a gentle giant. He helps run a somewhat large plant nursery just outside of town, and has the whole encyclopedia of the language of flowers practically memorized.

Honestly I'm glad it's them and not anyone else- anyone else would probably be too much for me right now. Krav and Regna are the perfect combination of neighborly and subtly kinky, and the way they smile when I turn around, you would have guessed I hadn't shown up to the club in years.

"Marchesa!" They both exclaim, and I can't help but squeal happily as they both wrap me into a hug. Krav hugs just the right amount, but Regna hugs like she's trying to break me in half. They're both wearing robes that I'm positive are hiding their show-outfits they chose for tonight. I can just barely hear the faint squelching sound of rubber from somewhere.

Like I said: subtly kinky.

"How have you been!?" Regna asks once she's finished trying to squeeze every ounce of air from out of my lungs. "Look at you, dressed up like a business woman!"

"Regna, I _am_ a business woman." I snicker. "I've been doing fine, work's just been crazy, with my promotion and all. I finally figured it was time to stop by and let you all know I was alive."

"And we're _super_ glad to see that you are." Krav says with a relieved sigh. "Judith was in here a few days ago... it wasn't pretty, but it sounded like you were involved, so I was really worried."

"We've _all_ been really worried." Regna agrees with a nod of her head. "Messy break-ups like that are the _worst_ , but all of us are here if you need somebody to talk to- we always have been."

"Yeah, I know..." I say with a smile, feeling myself choke up a bit despite myself. "Sorry for ghosting all of you for so long... It's been a bit of a slog trying to pick up the pieces after the fallout, I was afraid I wouldn't be the same Marchesa if I came back here too soon."

"Well, you seem like the same old Marchesa to me." Krav says as he reaches out and ruffles me hair. "Looks like you got yourself back here in one piece just fine."

"Well, let's just say I had a bit of help with all that." I smile. "I don't know where it's going to lead, but it's reignited my passion for being a domme, so maybe you'll start to see more of me when I get the chance to stop by."

"Oh? And any chance we'll ever get to meet this 'help'?" Regna asks, raising her eyebrow expectantly.

"I can't make any promises yet. Everything is still up in the air, and I don't want to force something where there isn't anything to begin with." I sigh with a shrug. "I'd rather just focus on the here-and-now instead of what could be- I don't have the best track record of being able to tell where a relationship is going to go..."

"By that look on your face, I can tell you certainly _want_ things to go well." Regna says, leaning in to take a closer look at me, cradling her chin between her thumb and forefinger. "It's always best to not rush into things, but... it's not irrational to hope that there's _something_ there."

"Yeah... I know..." I say with a slight nod, as a warm feeling blooms in my chest. What sort of "something" do I want to foster with Liliana? Would it be so wrong to hope for anything at all? But... am I even in the position to hope? So many questions buzz through my mind but I do know, at least, that whenever I think of Liliana, my heart feels at least a little bit lighter... And I certainly don't feel _bad_ for feeling that way. "Thanks."

"Are you planning on sticking around?" Krav asks, sounding a bit excited. "I mean, it's probably really obvious, but we're putting on a show."

"...Sounds nice, but I really should be getting home. I have a really big weekend to plan- I can't let myself get too distracted, sorry." I apologize. "But I know you two are gonna knock 'em dead, so maybe I'll catch you the next time."

"Oh _hoh_ , the way this special someone has you working your little butt off, they're probably at least a little special." Regna says with a chuckle.

"Yeah... they are." Maybe they don't know, but perhaps they can tell by my smile just how content those words make me feel. Regardless of my feelings, whether it's love or just a mistake, Liliana is... special to me. Now it's up to me to figure what exactly being "special" to me entails.

I finish my drink and say my goodbyes after getting one, last spine-crushing hug before excusing myself, just as the club starts to really fill up. I don't know if I could handle the real hustle and bustle of the club at it's peak, but it was nice to see some familiar faces and to drink one of Tibalt's mixed-drinks again. It was nice to return to my old life, even if it was for a brief time. Maybe there's going to come a time where things truly settle- before tonight it didn't seem like it would ever, really happen, but now it seems like a possibility. Before Liliana... I figured I'd have to give up this side of me for good.

Before I go to call for a ride home, I find myself scrolling through text messages until I find the single message between me and Liliana: still just a couple of emojis. I take a deep breath as I stand on the curb and let my fingers do the talking, just like they've always been so keen to do.

"Can't wait to see you this weekend."

I hit send. My heart, once again, feels lighter.

** Liliana **

Saturday has arrived, and so has the crushing, heart-pounding anxiety I've been keeping at bay all week. I've spent my entire morning hardly able to make myself a pot of coffee between how excited and nervous I am, and just when I think I'm calming down enough to maybe be presentable to go out into public, I get a text message. It's a simple text from Marchesa: nothing but her address for me to use, but my nervousness returns just barely catching a glimpse of the text just above it:

"Can't wait to see you this weekend."

It's such a simple, sweet message, but it makes my heart race, and I feel like it hasn't truly stopped since I got it earlier this week. Ever since then, my sense of anticipation and nervousness has grown, and to say it's left me a mess barely able to function would be an understatement. I want to send a message back that makes me seem like I'm playing this whole weekend _thing_ she's planned cool, but I'm afraid it would just come out as a jittery, clumsy key-smash. I don't know how "ashkdbfksbvdfjfkfff" would come across, but I really doubt it would set the mood. Or any mood.

Even the act of choosing an outfit is difficult. I want to dress casually, but then again, how casual is too casual for a weekend that's going to be one, long sex romp? If I show up in just a T-shirt and jeans, will it seem like I'm not taking things seriously. But if I show up in anything super sexy, will it come across as me being too eager? The thought of coming to her house in nothing but a trench coat and underwear comes to mind, but if I suffered through a cab ride wearing that, I'd probably die before I even arrived.

"Can't wait to see you this weekend."

God, if only she knew just how those seven words drove me absolutely wild. I'm excited, too- unbelievably so. I wish I could be there right now and just skip this whole morning full of anxiety and anticipation strong enough to stun a horse. Instead I'm in my room, stripped down to my underwear with half my wardrobe laid out on my bed. Normal meet-ups and nights out don't normally take this much effort. And, honestly, this shouldn't cause this much stress, but here I am.

"Can't wait to see you this weekend."

_God, me too._

I consider calling Nissa or Chandra- maybe keep things vague and not mention Marchesa, or else they'll start trying to convince me not to go, given their prior opinions they've formed about her. They seem like the only two people in my contact list who I'd be able to ask. I'd sooner die than ask Jace something like this and if I mentioned to Selvala that I was trying to dress for any kind of meeting with another person, she'd hound me until I told her every detail, and even the most small of details are things I'd rather not share with Selvala- not about this weekend, anyway.

However, before I make my decision I come across Judith's number. She gave me her number days ago, and I still haven't so much as texted her, much less called. It's hardly been a week, but I worry she might have already forgotten me, or lost interest in me- in the woman she had a quick, kinky romp with at the club. I wonder if it would even be right to call her about this. I wonder if it would be right to even call her at all. I wonder if she gives a lot of girls this same number, and collects hearts like stamps. Thumb hovering over her number, I can still feel the rush of being whisked through the empty streets on the back of her motorcycle, and I can still imagine the faint bite of rope.

I want to believe I mean something to her, other than a quick way to get off on a random weeknight. I want to believe I wasn't used. I want to believe so very, very badly that, if I gather the courage to call her, that she'll pick up.

Instead of making a decision and taking the plunge, I toss my phone onto the bed instead. I can hardly stand worrying about one woman- one woman who I've called the name of Mistress- I shouldn't make myself even more bafflingly stressed by worrying about two. Maybe after this weekend, I'll call that number that I finally, after several days, was able to scrub completely off my arm. For now, I should focus on one woman. For now, I'll keep my thoughts on one Mistress.

* * *

 

The single, casual "I'm on my way" was a lot harder for me to text than it should have been. I finally decided on a pair of black dress pants, a violet tank top that barely covers my midriff, and a black jacket I found shoved way in the back of my closet with the store tags still attached. I think it's a look that both aims to impress, but doesn't look like I'm trying too hard- or that it took me over and hour to put together. It's early afternoon by the time I hail a cab to take me to my destination, and halfway through the drive before I send out my text message.

 _I'm so nervous I can hardly even breath_.

"You must be going to meet someone pretty special." My taxi driver, a man well into his middle-ages, suddenly speaks up, and I snap to attention in my seat like I've been shocked.

"Hmm?" I mumble, suddenly incredibly aware of how I'm holding myself. I certainly hope it didn't look like I was swooning. _Oh god, I hope I_ really _wasn't swooning!_

"You seem incredibly nervous- and in this line of work you see enough nervous young women to figure these things out." He laughs. "Let me guess- boyfriend? First date?"

He's a little off the mark in some places, but incredibly out of range in others. But I also don't want to have to explain to a random cab driver that I'm going over to my bosses place, who used to be my ex girlfriend, for what is going to be the kinkiest weekend of my life. That's a bit of a mouthful, and not exactly the sort of material one uses for small talk, or talk of any kind for that matter. So, instead of trying to correct him, I smile and say,

"Something like that."

"Ah, I see." he says in a knowing tone- but I have no idea what exactly he sees, although I can see his eyebrows rise way up on his forehead, practically to his receding hairline. I wonder what sort of conclusion he drew from me saying "something like that". "Well, best of luck to you. Whoever you're going to meet, their very lucky to have landed such a pretty thing like you."

"Ah- er- thanks." I manage to say with my same, plastic smile. "I'm just hoping everything goes well."

Lucky for me, he doesn't pry much more, and leaves me to my thoughts for the rest of the drive- my rushing, nervous, excited thoughts. I can feel my heart start to race as my mind wanders, concocting all sorts of things she might do to me, and all the things I'd want her to do. I'm going to be led back into that room of kinky delights, and instead of surprise, it's going to be like being led into paradise. Without really thinking, I gently run my hand along my collarbone and up to my neck, longing to feel the embrace of a collar around it. I want to experience that feeling again: the feeling of belonging to someone. I want to experience the sick, sweet subjugation of being someone's plaything. I want-

"We're here!" My cab driver announces, and I realize we've stopped. I blush a bit, hoping we haven't been stopped for very long, as I shake myself out of the haze of my fantasies I really shouldn't be having in the backseat of a taxi.

" _Shit_ \- I mean, thanks!" I gasp, quickly paying what I owe and eagerly making my exit. I look up at the steps leading up to her door- it's only a short walk away, but it feels like such an insurmountable climb as I stand on the curb. I remember waiting on these exact same stairs, half-wasted, and now I'm back, drunk on the fantasies my brain is cooking up instead of alcohol.

"Good luck on your date!" I hear my cab driver say. I wish it were any of my friends saying those exact words to me. I wish it were Nissa and Chandra wishing me luck. I wish it were Selvala, prodding me for details about my plans. Hell, I even wish it were Jace, minding his own business, but at least being silently supportive. But instead, all I have are the well-wishes of an old man who I don't know. Right now, he's the only one who knows anything about what I'm doing this weekend. I've told nobody else where I'm going, or what I'm going to do. I don't have the support of anyone but strangers.

"Thanks." I say as I turn around to give him a thankful smile, taking a long, preparatory breath before _finally_ , carefully climbing the stairs. With each step, my heart pounds faster and harder, and my excitement grows. Just beyond that door at the top of these stairs, all of my what ifs and fantasies are going to be made into reality shaped by ropes and whips and god knows what else- _oh god, how I long to find out what else._

By the time I'm at her door, I feel like I've climbed more than just a few stairs, and I have to take several long, deep breaths before I raise my hand and ring her doorbell. At this point, there's no turning back, I've reached the very edge, and all that's left to do is leap. All there is now is silence- no racing thoughts or anxiety. Hell, I'd be tempted to assume my heart that had been wildly pounding against my chest until now has stopped completely dead as I listen to the sound of heels clacking against the wood floor inside drawing closer.

 _Oh god_ , a tiny thought drifts through my head, _she's wearing heels._

Those are probably the last intelligent thoughts my brain will be able to process as Marchesa- my boss and now Mistress for this weekend- opens the door, and instantly it's like everything inside my skull is reduced to soup.

She's wearing a black top detailed with gold trim that forms beautiful designs around the collar, that opens up in the chest area to reveal an impressive amount of cleavage. Her sleeves don't really stop at her arms and continue all the way to the tips of her fingers, forming gloves. It hugs every curve of her body, lying tight against her skin. Her skirt below is made from the same color and sort of material, with similar gold details, that's longer in the back than in the front. It just barely reveales a delectable peak of thigh between the skirt and her thigh-high leggings, that are striped black and gold. Her heels are incredibly impressive, and raise her to be a good few inches taller than me.

I suddenly feel incredibly under-dressed.

"That didn't take too long." She chuckles, red-painted lips drawn up in a smile that both welcomes and teases me. "You must have been very eager to get here after all the waiting you had to do this week."

She seems so poised and practiced, her words flow out from between her lips like silk. So I feel a little embarrassed when all I'm able to do is nod and utter out a feeble, simple, "...Yeah." She doesn't seem too disappointed in my answer though as she laughs behind an almost devilish smirk.

"Well, I can't have you squirming on my doorstep forever- come in." She says as she steps out of the way to welcome me into her home. Just through this doorway is a world my fantasies can only try and imitate. With a couple of steps, I'll leave the world where I'm just Liliana, a normal office worker behind, and enter the realm where I can reclaim "Lili", the girl subservient to her charismatic, beautiful Mistress.

I hold my breath and I take the plunge.

"Must be a totally different experience- last time you were here, you were drunk off your ass." Marchesa smirks as she closes the door. My gaze is fixed on the door to _that_ room, but I keep myself rooted to where I stand- I don't want to seem too eager. Everything that happens now goes according to her plans, not mine. I'm just here to obey.

"It certainly is a huge contrast." I agree as I feel her fingers trace along my shoulders towards the collar of my jacket. Her fingers just barely graze my collarbone as she takes it and slowly slides it off my shoulders and down my arms, relinquishing me of one of my layers of clothing- one of the things standing between her and my body for her to control. "Last time I was here, you were kicking me out."

"And now I'm welcoming you back. Make yourself at home, I'd like for you to get a little comfortable before things get... _rough_." That last word is practically whispered into my ear and I can't help but shiver as she leaves my side to hang my jacket in her closet. The back of her outfit reveals her top to be like a corset, with golden strings laced up the back, all the way to the high collar. That sight alone is enough to make me gulp nervously.

"Go ahead and have a seat." She says over her shoulder with a look on her face that makes it seem like she knows I was staring, and that she had planned for that to happen. "I'll fix us something to drink."

"Isn't that a little odd- shouldn't it be _me_ serving _you_? Seems a little backwards." I joke as she leads me into the living room. She looks at me with a single eyebrow raised- she seems to approve, finding my wise-assery amusing.

"It's simply good hospitality, Liliana, perhaps you've heard of it." She smirks. "But don't you worry, you'll be the one serving me soon enough- _over and over_." Her parting words as she walks into the adjacent kitchen makes my internal temperature rise. They're dark and imposing, like the vague threats of some sort of villainess plotting out her dark deeds. It would have seemed incredibly theatrical if it didn't make me so hot.

She leaves me to sit by myself in her living room for only a short while, and before the heat she had stirred inside me cools, she returns with two glass cups in each of her hands, each filled with a steaming, honey-colored liquid.

"Alcohol?" I ask as she offers me a cup.

"Don't talk nonsense, I wouldn't liquor someone up before our game- I'm not that kind of person." Marchesa scolds with a huff as she takes a seat next to me. She's incredibly close- enough to where our legs brush up against one another. "It's tea- ginseng. Among several things, it helps reduce stress."

I'm more of a coffee kind of gal, but nonetheless I drink as our conversation slowly winds down into small talk. It's mostly just office gossip, and how exhausting work has been. I tell her about Nissa and Chandra's coffee shop, and Marchesa only sort of bites at the potential lure, saying that she figures Nissa probably isn't her biggest fan (which she's right about, although I assume she thinks it's because of our break-up back in college). I accidentally let slip I found out that Jace has a boyfriend, and while I beg her not to tell a soul, she just laughs and scoffs at me for not even noticing that Jace is clearly into men. I have no idea how she knows this- and I honestly had no idea she even knew Jace. Turns out I don't know a lot of things.

"This is your last chance to say 'no' and have it mean something." Marchesa finally says as she takes our empty cups and sets them on the floor. "Before we really begin, I want to know that you still want to go through with this. Just say the word, and we can turn this weekend into binge watching a bunch of horror movies and shit-talking about our co-workers, like the old days, if you really want. But that's up to you- all of this is up to you."

"I..." I stammer as she reaches out and takes my hand with a surprising amount of tenderness.

"It's okay to be nervous- I honestly think nerves add a little spice to the game- but if you're honestly too freaked out by all this, you can tell me." She says, her tone sounding genuine enough to ground even my mind, high off the fumes of anticipation and sexual tension, back to reality. And that reality is that I'm a simple "yes" or "no" away from delving into a weekend of incredible intensity and dark desires,where I'll be reduced to a plaything, where I might discover just what my limits are. It's up to me to decide, not her- not my Mistress- over whether or not this game of ours can truly begin.

"I... I'm fine." A say after a bit of thought, giving her an assuring nod and a trusting smile. It's the least of what I'll be giving her tonight. I want to give her my trust, my body, my freedom- _everything_! But, for now, I'll start by giving her my consent. "I want this... I'm ready."

"And what, might I ask, is my safeword?" She asks me as she leans in, nearly close enough to kiss, but she waits for me to speak. My breath hitches only slightly and I bite my lip in anticipation before whispering,

"Rose."

She rewards me with a deep, smoldering kiss- a reward to warm me up and get me going as our game finally, after so many days of waiting, begins. I hungrily kiss back, feeling her hands cup my cheeks as she cradles my face in them while we kiss. Our lips brush against each other roughly as I let her explore my mouth with her tongue. I can taste the flavor of ginseng in her saliva, and it's almost like getting to drink it a second time, but sweeter. Everything about her is sweet, and it leaves me craving more.

Our lips finally part, and I'm panting while she's impressively not even winded at all. One hand moves down to my chin before she grasps it gently between her fingers.

"Let's not waste any more time then. I can tell just by that kiss how eager you are for us to start." She says seductively as she stands and offers me her hand. I more-than-gladly take it as I allow her to take the lead to where things can truly begin: out of the living down the hall, and finally through that door that started all of this. She flips on the lights, and now I'm seeing her secret playroom in a whole new light- and it _excites_ me.

"As you can see, I have plenty of things to keep us entertained. I have a lot of plans for you- I expect a lot out of my pets." She explains as she leads me into the room and I try not to gawk and stare at every little thing like some sort of awe-struck tourist. I'm led passed all sorts of toys and rigs that I desperately want to ask what they're for, but I keep my mouth shut- surely, in time, she'll give a hands-on explanation for some of it. But, for now, she takes me to the bed at the far end of the room, draped in red silk with hoops attached all around the frame, I notice. I expect her to toss me down on to it, which is why I'm surprised when she lets go of my hand and sits herself down onto it instead, elegantly crossing her lags and looking up at me expectantly.

"Um-"

"We can't have you wearing those clothes- they bind you to your life as Liliana, and we won't be needing them here. You'll strip off those clothes, like you'll cast away your name for tonight, and in exchange..." She reaches over, and I notice something else sitting on the bed beside her: a beautiful-looking collar that looks like it was made to couple with her own outfit. A goofy thought drifts through my head for a second, the phrase "oh, look, we'll match!" being almost tempting enough to say, but I hold it in as she continues. "... You'll be given this to wear, as well as your new identity you'll assume for our game. Liliana doesn't need to be apart of any of this, once you wear this collar, you'll be "Lili", my pet and my plaything."

"And you'll be my Mistress." I say back in response, and she gives me the slightest of smiles.

"Seems like you're catching on." She chuckles, sticking her finger through the loop in the collar as she lazily twirls it around. "I won't be the one to strip you of your clothes and your name. That task is up to you- I want _you_ to offer yourself and your identity to me, with your own hands." Her small smile expands into a hungry grin. "I like to watch."

"Well... if you insist." I say, nerves showing just a bit in my voice as I take my tank top and slowly pull it up- slowly revealing my stomach and my chest before pulling it over my head and letting it call to the floor. Marchesa looks on in approval, but gives me nothing but a smile. I continue, unhooking my bra and allowing it to fall to the floor at my feet as well. I can feel a small rush of excitement building inside of me as I move on to my pants, slipping out of them carefully, leg by leg. Before I know it, I'm standing before Marchesa, almost in the nude, and I can _feel_ her gaze as it travels up and down my body.

"One last, little layer." She coos as she reaches out with a leg and brushes the tip of her foot up until it nudges at the hem of my underwear. "Let me see every last inch- leave nothing hidden."

I obey as I lean forward, slowly slipping off my final bit of clothing until it, too, falls loosely to the floor at my feet. I step out from them and towards Marchesa- my Mistress, patiently waiting for me to discard one, last thing.

"You're quite beautiful, you know." She compliments with a smile that nearly makes me melt. "Makes me proud to know I'm this close to owning something so beautiful..." She rises from the bed, and I can feel the cold, metal clasp of the collar caress my inner thigh before she slowly runs them up my body, against my bare skin. "Discard your name, and become mine."

"Nnm..." I hold back a moan as I feel the clasp brush against one of my nipples. I look down at the collar in her hand before looking back up and locking eyes with her. I don't want to give away just how much I want this, but I can tell by her victorious smirk that she already knows. She's just waiting for me to give the word- to give up my name and accept my new roll for our little game.

_I want it so bad. I want "Lili"._

"Make me yours, Mistress." I sigh longingly, lifting up my head to present my neck to her as I eagerly await the embrace of the collar in her hands.

"Oh, I will." She says with a playful smile as she pulls he collar around my awaiting neck and tightly fastening it. "Over and over again."


	6. Over and Over

**Marchesa**

Everything Liliana has on is brand new. It was a pointless expense, seeing as how I have an impressive rack of other outfits I could have picked out for the evening, but in the end I didn't feel right having her wear something that had once belonged to... _her_. I spent my entire morning going down to the usual shop and buying a whole new set of outfits just for tonight, and they wound up costing me a pretty penny, for as little material that was actually used to make them. I hope Liliana doesn't recognize what the smell of really fresh latex smells like, or how it hugs her body tightly, like a fresh garment never worn by another person. She certainly hasn't asked, and I haven't even gagged her yet.

Her outfit matches mine- call me nit-picky but I just like it when my subs compliment me, down to the latex corsets and thigh-highs- black with gold trim that elegantly curls and coils around the material. It looked good from the front, with most of the detailing being focused there as well as the completely exposed chest, but I feel this angle looks... just as good, probably better. Bent over the bed with her bare-ass to me, legs restrained by shackles I had built into the frame and arms tied behind her back with rope, I can just barely catch her sneaking needy glances over her shoulder at me as I take in the view.

 _Oh yeah,_ definitely _better._

"Mistress?" She speaks up, the chains of her shackles rattling slightly as she shifts just enough to look over her shoulder. Pulled back to reality, I re-adjust my grip on the flogger I had picked out just for this moment- this scenario I had waited days to see come to fruition. _It's time to stop staring, my sub is getting impatient._

"Just enjoying the view." I chuckle as I run a gloved hand gently over her butt. Her skin is smooth and soft- unblemished and begging for a spanking. I can feel her twitch slightly underneath my touch. "But I suppose just looking isn't going to help in disciplining you. It's best if these things are handled a little more 'hands-on' or else you might not learn your lesson."

"Discipline?" Liliana asks, sounding more intrigued than confused, as I barely catch the sight of her cocking an eyebrow up and a smirk on her lips. She seems eager enough for now- I don't hear any hint of wavering in her voice. But I don't know her limits yet outside of clearly enjoying being tied up. Here, we'll finally see just how well she can take her licks- and if anything, she seems incredibly willing to find out.

"It's my job, as your boss, to make sure your work meets a certain standard- and to deal out appropriate punishment when you fail to meet it." I explain, mind now running through the countless scripts I've written to get to this point. If Liliana could see the files on my laptop filled with nothing but potential scenarios and dialogue she'd probably laugh right in my face, but it's all apart of the role I play. Maybe one day I'll be better at improvising, but until then I'll keep on filling my time arranging my performances beforehand and hope things don't go too far off-script. "And I can't help but feel you've been... distracted lately."

I very gently whap Liliana's behind with the leather straps of my flogger in an almost playful way. It's far from being hard enough to even leave marks, but, well, you gotta start somewhere. I can hear her restrain a giggle as I do it a few more times before running the handle between her legs, which elicits a shiver.

"Can you really blame me? You certainly haven't helped, Mistress... or should I be calling you boss?" Lliana asks with a grin, and I withhold making an even bigger, goofier one back. It's hard to believe Liliana hasn't done this before- how she supplies just the right amount of sass to keep the game going. It certainly couldn't have been something she picked up from our first, rough encounter back at the office. I'm pretty sure all she did then was beg, but now she at least has enough of a mouth to fuel the fire just enough.

"Is that any way to speak to your superiors?" I ask her as I smack her bare-ass with the leather strips of the flogger a bit harder this time. I hear her gasp, but it's more of a sound of surprise than pain. I reassure myself that she knows the safeword and knows she's welcome to use it. It's a moment that probably lasts not even half a second, but for me, as I identify Liliana's reaction, time might as well have stopped. "It's irresponsible to blame others for your mistakes- if that's all you do, you'll never learn."

I pause before leaning forward and hunching over her enough to where I can whisper into Liliana's ear as I reach down and give her butt a healthy squeeze. Hearing her moan so close is like music to me ears.

"Perhaps it should be up to me to see that you're properly taught." I hiss into her ear before giving it a nibble. Liliana moans slightly behind closed lips, her body language begging for me to do just that where her mouth couldn't quite get across. She leans in to my rough touch, and I can hear her breathing quicken in anticipation. This is what I get off to the most- I like it when a sub bends herself to my will, when she serves me and breathlessly calls me mistress. I like the sense of control this all gives me- a constant in this world so full of unpredictable variables and scenarios, here in this room the rules and roles are absolute. Hell, I like the outfits, and honestly wish I could work a more domme vibe into my usual daily wear. But I love the moment where you can feel your sub's excitement- the anticipation that you can feel rising up from them like a radiating heat. That moment when their breathing quickens and they squirm with readiness, _that's_ my favorite part. That's the part of this whole game that I love.

I rise back up to my full height as I practically caress Liliana's behind with my flogger. The way she's tensed up gives away that she's ready for me to simply smack her again, but the best part of this type of play is the element if surprise. I enjoy catching my subs off guard and watching them jump and hearing them gasp and moan in shock. It's all a game that's going to end up with the both of us getting off, of course, but this is also a punishment- you have to make it feel like a punishment, or else it just feels like your toying with them and not taking the needs of your sub seriously.

I wait until she's relaxed and until her muscles in her legs and her butt lose their tension. I wait until the moment right before her breathing relaxes and she starts to calm down.

Smack! I strike her bare-skin with the flogger harder than I had before. The collision makes a satisfying, sharp noise that mingles with Liliana's moan as she arches her back slightly. Her legs quiver and the ropes that bind her arms creak quietly against her as she fights against her restrains. It lasts only a second, but the satisfaction I feel watching it all play out stretches the moment out so I can take in every delicious detail. A red mark is left behind on her ass, criss-crossing patterns appearing on her skin.

"You only have yourself to blame." I chuckle as I playfully swat her behind, each time eliciting tiny, tantalizing responses. We've established she can take a bit of pain- she's had a taste of my punishment and she seems altogether very ready for another healthy bite of the whip. "I don't think one is going to be enough, though..."

"Ooh, Mistress, please, I've learned my lesson." Her acting could use a bit of work, but at least I know Liliana's encouraging that our little game continue. Her awfully sarcastic tone and nervous giggle are almost a form of relief for me as I strike her with my flogger a second time across the other, unblemished cheek, causing her to punctuate herself with a surprised cry that dissolves into a moan.

"Now, who gave you permission to talk- it certainly wasn't me." A say as I continue to swat the leather strips against her skin, leaving behind more red marks. She writhes with each smack of the flogger, but after you do this sort of thing for a while you're able to tell what sort of movements are people getting into the whole punishment game, and what movements are people legitimately trying to escape out of panic. Liliana's quivering alright, but it's not out of fear or discomfort, that's for sure. "I'll decide when you've had enough

I continue this long enough to where even I'm feeling hot and bothered. With each strike of the flogger, I can feel a lingering sense of excitement build between my own thighs. With each gasp-laden moan from Liliana, I feel myself growing more and more turned on. I've forgotten how it feels to dish out punishment like this: the sound of leather meeting flesh, the surprised gasps and tiny cries of the sub below me and the satisfaction I feel, knowing that it's all my doing. I start to lose myself in the heat of things, my free hand drifting between my legs as I start to touch myself. While Liliana isn't looking, I enjoy a moment of weakness.

Before I can give way to moaning of my own, I tear myself away from the haze slowly overtaking me and draw the flogger back. I take a moment to look over my work, Liliana's once unscathed behind now being left red and covered in tiny welts. Her body quivers gently as she heaves breath, each one a quiet moan.

"Mistress..." She moans into the air occupied only by our breathing, and it's almost enough to send me over the edge. There's an order to these things- I've planned out a great deal, but just that one, breathless moan is almost enough to make me cast it all aside and just indulge myself all at once. But, just like always, I hold myself back. This sort of role requires restraint, even though I'm the one doing all of the restraining.

"Good girl, perhaps now you'll finally learn your lesson." I say with a smile as I gently run my hand over each welt left behind on her butt, caressing each raised bit of flesh with my fingers as I drag them across her skin. She sighs in content, no doubt drinking in the soft feeling of flesh after having indulged so much in the feeling of leather and guilt. "You've earned yourself a bit of a reward."

I say "reward" but it doesn't mark a conclusion to our game in any sense, but if it was all whips and paddles there's little doubt in my mind that even that would get dull after a while. I've prepared a wealth of activities for us to indulge in, this is just simply another part of the game- and it involves a ball-gag, among other things.

"I hope you don't mind being tied up for a bit longer, I think it will help with what I have planned for you." I say as I go about collecting the necessary toys for what I have planned. I keep everything neatly within reach, and if you are an especially kinky motherfucker, you'd actually be able to map out the entire night based on how I've arranged things in my playroom. I just hope Liliana isn't as perceptive as that- I'd hate for there to be spoilers.

"Just a... little itch on my nose." Liliana admits, sounding embarrassed. I chuckle to myself, finding it a little bit odd that we've found ourselves in a situation where one of us whipping the other is incredibly hot and acceptable, but a little nose itch is something to be ashamed about.

"Heh, here." I laugh as I pull a blindfold over her eyes and, before I pull my hands back, give her nose a brief scratch.

" _God_ , thanks, that was really starting to bother me." She sighs, and I take a second to drink in this incredibly mundane moment. It grounds me back to reality, re-establishing the both of us are still human, and not just sub and domme. If anything, it keeps me from getting to swept up in these impossibly deep, rough waters the both of us are wading into.

_That being said, we can't just stick to the shallows forever._

I take the ball-gag next and gently press it to her lips, and she willingly parts them in acceptance. Maybe she's done this sort of thing before, maybe I'm being a little too careful, but I feel the need to lean in and speak softly in her ear, in a tone that practically begs for her to listen. I'm robbing her of her voice, after all- removing the one ability she has to bring a stop to our game, should she need to.

"Do you trust me?" I ask her. There's an audible pause, and if I hadn't blindfolded her beforehand, I imagine she'd be looking up at me, trying to gauge my own expression. And, if she could see, I hope that I, at least, look sincere as I feel. I want to hear it, even if it's muffled behind a ball-gag.

"W...Wuff..." She mumbles in a tone that certainly sounds like a "yes" as she gives me a slight, tiny nod.

"Good, because I won't do anything to betray that trust." I assure her as I run my hand up her thigh and between her legs. "You're safe here, with me."

I pull my hand away, not letting her know I've left something behind until I've climbed onto the bed and positioned myself in front of her- the perfect view for what is about to be a tantalizing show. With just a touch of a button on the remote I have in my hand, a gentle vibrating noise fills the air, accompanied quickly by Liliana's surprised moan behind her gag. I was tempted to brig up the vibrator I'd slipped inside of her, but I wanted to watch the initial look of shock on her face- and damn, is it everything and more.

She writhes as drool almost immediately seeps passed the gag and runs down her chin. I have the vibrator set to the lowest setting, so it should make for a satisfyingly-long show. And, as I watch her quiver and listen to her moan and breath heavily through her nose I finally give in to my own burning desires as I remove my underwear from under my skirt before spreading my legs. My fingers go to town, needily playing with myself. Watching Liliana struggle against her restraints as she helplessly moans has already made me incredibly wet, leaving little resistance as I prod myself with my fingers, inserting them deep inside as I search for all of my sweet spots.

Liliana can't see me, but I wonder if she can hear me as I struggle to hold back moans of my own as I pleasure myself to the sight of her. I wonder if she knows I'm a few feet away, legs spread shamefully as I get off to watching her struggle and moan. She's clearly enjoying her reward, moving her hips in approval as she drools, and I, myself, am enjoying it as well- in my own, private way.

This is only the beginning. One- or two, or three orgasms is only the start of things. The weekend is still young, and the night is far from over.

** Jace **

You'd think that having a boyfriend who works at a gym would actually motivate me to start working out. But, while I do make frequent trips to his workplace, I never actually do much of anything other than wait at the cafe connected to it. Having Gideon see me wheeze and work up a shameful amount of sweat struggling to work the complex weight machinery the wrong way would probably lead me to an early grave. "Died of complete embarrassment" wouldn't look all that impressive on a gravestone, so instead I satisfy myself from getting well acquainted with the myriad of healthy smoothies at the gym cafe instead.

Waiting at the bar facing the gym floor itself, I spot Gideon leaving the locker room, a towel thrown loosely over his shoulders, and in an instant he locates me and gives me a big, enthusiastic wave, like we didn't just see each other yesterday. That's one thing about him I really like- I'm not exactly the most popular guy at work, and even among my friends there's usually a healthy amount of teasing and bitching to and at one another. With Gideon, he's always so happy to see me. I never catch him at a bad time, and I have to wonder if he ever has "bad times" at all, or if he's this bottomless well of positivity fueled by protein shakes and sunshine. It's nice getting to see that kind of happy, welcoming, loving smile every single day.

It also doesn't exactly hurt that Gideon is built like damn mountain and has a face that would be at home among classic statues of gorgeous, naked men in a museum somewhere. I wonder how he sees me: tired, messy hair, less than five shirts in his wardrobe, always sucking down weird, green gym cafe smoothies. Whatever it is, I wish I saw it, myself. Maybe I'd have better self esteem. Maybe I wouldn't be embarrassed about actually working out at the gym.

"Thanks for waiting!" He says with the widest smile as he joins me at the cafe. Not insisting we leave right away, he takes a seat next to me- the stools being positioned so close together that one of his shoulders brushes up against mine.

"Not much else I could have done otherwise." I smirk.

"I mean, you could have worked out- I'm just saying." Gideon offers up playfully. "You have a membership, shouldn't you be- I don't know- getting your money's worth?"

"And I am- I don't think I've consumed this much fruit, blended or otherwise, in my entire life." I say before taking a long sip of my smoothie. "My years of being at risk for scurvy are long behind me."

"One of these days I'm going to get you out there on that exercise equipment. As a trainer here, I feel it's my duty to get you that ideal gym experience." Gideon chuckles. "And as your boyfriend, seeing out out there, working up a sweat, taking off your shirt-"

"Okay, _okay_ , Gideon, I get it!" I groan, giving his massive rock-like shoulder a shove. "Though to be perfectly honest... you don't have to go to the gym for any of that."

There's an audible pause before Gideon bursts out laughing, like I just told the most hilarious joke. He gives me a friendly slap on the back and covers his face as he chuckles, his cheeks clearly growing red. I can't tell if he's laughing because I've embarrassed him, or if what I said was genuinely _that_ hilarious, but whatever the reason... _god_ I love Gideon's laugh. It fills an entire room, and lightens any atmosphere- just another aspect of him being this endlessly renewable resource of positivity. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh at anyone before, just along with them. It's nice, at least once in a while not to get laughed at.

I met Gideon online a few years ago- I know it's a really lackluster origin story, but now a-days, you can't just expect some sort of love-at-first-sight scenario straight out of a movie, especially when you're working at an office full of people who you despise for most of your day, and sleeping for the rest of it. Sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and make a bunch of accounts of dating sites and hope for the best. Gideon wasn't exactly the first date I'd had through the miracles of online dating websites, but he was certainly the first guy. It was a case of me being incredibly desperate after a long string of relationships that just didn't work out because, "you're such a nice guy, but the spark just isn't there". After a while, you start to wonder if it's not something your doing wrong, but the some _one_ you're doing. Or failing to do. Or not doing at all.

A lifetime of failure in the romantic department had left me with low expectations, but imagine my surprise when the first person who got in contact with me on the men seeking men side of things was Mister Big-and-Perfect siting beside me now, laughing his ass off over a b-grade sex joke. It took a really long time for me to accept that this whole thing wasn't just a big accident I'd stumbled into- now I feel like it's more bragging rights kind of material... if I had anyone I could brag to.

"So, your place or mine?" Gideon asks as the two of us leave the gym. He's still all smiles, lighting up the dark city streets like the sun.

"My place is a mess, I haven't gotten a lot of time to clean. So, unless you want to wade around dirty clothes and take-out boxes..." I begin to explain.

"Which, we can get out of the way, if you'll invite me over to help you clean." Gideon offers.

"Gideon- _no_ , you're always coming over to my place to clean it, you're my boyfriend, not my maid." I groan. "It's the weekend, shouldn't we focus on doing something that doesn't involve work?"

"What? I _like_ helping you clean your apartment- plus, if I didn't offer, we both know you'd never take the time." He teases me. "It's only been, what, a couple of weeks since I came over and helped you clean up the last time? It can't be that bad, and the night is young. We'll still have plenty of time to do whatever once we finish."

"Can't you just let me wallow in my own filth like everyone else?" I ask him jokingly.

"No can do, Jace. Helping people out is my job, and if you're not going to let me help you live your best life at the gym, you leave me no choice but to focus on other parts of your life." Gideon shakes his head and crosses his arms. "Unless you want to start getting more out of your gym membership."

"I think I still have all that cleaning crap you bought the last time lying around." I quickly turn him down. Looks like I'm going to spend a romantic night in with my boyfriend washing my clothes and vacuuming- shamefully, not for the first time.

"You do know I bought that stuff for you to _use_ , right?" Gideon chuckles as he reaches out and takes my hand. It's still second-nature for me to pull away, but good ol' Gid is all about the public displays of affection. He holds my hand without even the slightest bit of embarrassment.

"Huh, and here I thought it was just there to occupy the empty space under my sink." I say with a smirk, giving up and lacing my fingers through his. I can tell by the growing smile on his face that he approves- that or he's enjoying his small victory over getting to clean my sty of an apartment. I wouldn't put holding hands passed making Gideon incredibly happy, though. Gideon enjoys letting the world know, in small and sometimes even big ways, that we're a couple, while I normally like things a little more subtle. And when I say "a little more" I mean we've been dating for years and not a soul at the office even knows I'm seeing anyone. Well... no one but Liliana, anyway.

Passed the initial embarrassment and uncertainty, though, I have to admit, laughing about it with her in private felt... nice- like getting a huge weight off my shoulders.

"...Hey, Gideon." I speak up after a short stint of silence. "...You don't work Monday afternoon, do you?"

"I work really early in the morning, so I should get out of work around then... why? Are you asking me on a date?" He asks teasingly, like this would be the first time I ever even bothered.

"I... I was actually wondering if you would want to meet me and my friends for coffee after work." I offer, feeling my face growing warm. "Liliana's friend has a coffee shop, and we normally stop by there after work and... it's occurred to me that none of them have ever really met you... and recently it's been nagging at me that they haven't."

"Jace..."

"I mean, I've met so many of your friends, but you've only ever _heard_ of mine. I've just been so worried about the whole office finding out and it becoming this stupid-huge piece of gossip and..." I stumble over my words a bit, not even sure where I'm even going. I'm just throwing out words because I don't know what to say, and I hope whatever comes out sticks and isn't complete and utter nonsense. "I'm starting to wonder if that would even be a big deal... I-I shouldn't care if people know... I... I love you, after all, it shouldn't matter if anyone knows, it's certainly not going to change- Wah!"

I'm cut off by Gideon suddenly throwing his bulky arms around me, pulling me into a tight, warm hug that takes me by surprise at first. I stiffen up, and it's probably almost like if Gideon were hugging a twig.

"G-Gid, hey-!" I stammer.

"I love you, too!" Gideon cuts me off as he hugs me and I, ever-so-slowly, relax into his embrace. "God, it's been, what, _years_ , and hearing you say stuff like that still makes me melt- I can't help myself!"

"N-no, it's fine... you just surprised me." I say, unable to keep myself from blushing. For being as strong as he is, Gideon's hugs are incredibly loving and gentle when he wants them to be. It's the gentleness that always catches me off guard.

"I'd love to meet your friends. I want to get to know that side of your life more!" Gideon continues. "Not to say I mind that it took this long... I'm just happy you're finally willing to share that part of your life with me."

"Don't thank me just yet- my work friends are incredible bitches, you'd better be prepared." I chuckle. "Just don't let your guard down around Selvala, that's all I'm saying."

"I think I can handle it." Gideon laughs, his ever-present smile filling me with warmth. It's that smile that got me the first time and reeled me in, and it's the one that keeps me coming back. You can't get that kind of smile from anyone else aside from the person who loves you unconditionally- the person who loves you for you. I wonder if _I_ have something like that- though I've never been very good at smiling.

"Heh... I love you, Gideon." I can't help but saying- mostly so I can hear him say those words back that make my cold heart melt every single time.

"I love you, too, Jace."

** Liliana **

Throughout the night, I kept on noticing this metal hook drilled into Marchesa's ceiling right over her bed- when my eyes weren't blindfolded anyway. I couldn't help but wonder if she ever had anything hanging from the ceiling at one point, like a fancy chandelier or one of those sex swings. Both are entirely possible, but in the end I seems I finally got my answer: me. I'm the thing she hangs over her bed, at least for tonight anyway.

Hanging is a loose word: my feet are still solidly planted on the mattress below, enough to keep myself from swinging around, with my hands bound in front of me with shackles, hung from a chain attached to the hook. To be truthful, this is probably the least restrained I've been all night, but it's hardly the least intense part of mine and Marchesa's game- because it's not just me hung from the ceiling by my wrists. There's also the nipple clamps (oh, _fuck_ , the nipple clamps) connected by a length of chain that, when tugged upon, is very persuasive motivation to keep me bent over. Their pinch makes it feel like my nipples are on fire, and with each little tug and pull from Marchesa, a jolt runs through me that is an intoxicating mixture of both pain and pleasure.

The other thing- and probably the main point of focus in all of this- isn't what _I'm_ wearing, but what Marchasa is.

"Nngh... M-Mistress!" I can't help but moan as I feel her thrust into me from behind, her strap-on plunging deep inside of me. She had started out slow, but that's now only a distant memory as I cling to the chains I'm bound to. Now, this is _fucking_ \- rough and relentless as she hits my sweet spots again and again, over and over. I grind against each of her thrusts, gasping in ecstasy each time. I've had sex before (I'm not virgin by any stretch of the word at this point) but in this context- my backside left red and raw, every inch of my body covered in sweat, with a woman who I have given everything to, including my name and my freedom plowing into me- it's like I'm feeling these things for the first time, and I want to _keep_ feeling them.

"Heh... sounds like you're enjoying yourself." Marchesa laughs breathlessly as she reaches around to run her fingers around my collar, reminding me that it's there- as if to remind me that I'm hers- before reaching down and tugging on the chain hooked to my nipple clamps. A noise that's a combination of a gasp and a cry escapes me, a jolt of pain radiating from my nipples as she pulls and forces me to bend forward. My lips quiver, almost saying _that_ word- the word that will stop all of this: the chains, the thrusting, the sting of the clamps and everything- but before even the "r" escapes me, I swallow it back. I want to be pushed as far as I can possibly go tonight, I don't want to end things before their actual conclusion. I want to see this play out until the end- the end Marchesa planned and not the one a little pain makes me want. I'll endure it to see this game out until the end. I'll endure for her.

"Something the matter?" I hear her ask, ceasing her thrusting for a moment to speak. Her words are a mixture of taunting and genuine, wanting to ask me if I'm okay without bringing the game to a complete halt. I grind against her without really thinking, as if some sort of animal instinct inside of me that craves pleasure and release has taken control of my hips very specifically. I want to keep feeling that overwhelming sense of pleasure from getting fucked by her to forget about the pain and the exhaustion that desperately wants to settle in.

"I-I'm fine, Mistress." I pant, doing my best to look over my shoulder to give her the most convincing smile I can. I don't even know if she sees it, but I feel her hands wander from my breasts- their nipples now starting to throb from the jolts of pain inflicted by the clamps- and slide down my sides to come to rest at my hips. "Please... I beg you... don't stop."

"You sound quite winded, seems like I should... finish things up." She says, and I see a flash of a smirk before she pulls out and thrusts hard into me, her hands grasping at my hips in an almost greedy way as she does so. I bite my lip and moan, unable to bring myself to say anything intelligible in response outside of loud, passionate noises of approval. "Your performance today has been quite impressive, though, seems like you can be put through a lot more paces than I originally thought."

"Anything for you, my Mistress..." I mewl as she grinds into me. "My body is yours... so long as you desire it..."

These words are so dramatic and over the top- the one last scrap of the normal Liliana that hasn't been whipped, licked or fucked out of me would roll her eyes is she could. But, in the heat of the moment, feeling myself growing ever-so-close to climax, I'll say whatever lusty one-liners I need to keep this night of passion and pain going. It felt so awkward in the beginning to come up with these sorts of things on the spot, and no doubt I blushed like an idiot the first time I really played along, but now these sorts of embarrassing words of desire are pouring out of me like it's nothing at all.

"Such a good girl." Marchesa laughs. "Why don't I finish up here so I can give you one, last, little reward."

In my haze of pleasure, turned into a moaning, squirming mess of a woman by the intoxication of pain, the word "reward" has almost become something of a turn on.

"Ooh, Mistress, please..." I beg, my legs starting to quiver beneath me as I clutch at the chains that are keeping me upright all the tighter. I can feel her nails dig into the skin of my hips enough to pierce through the overwhelming sensation of getting plowed into from behind, and it coaxes me from losing myself completely. I can't quite finish my sentence, though, as Marchesa quickens her pace, double-timing the speed of her thrusts. My words I had wanted to say dissolve into loud, desperate moans as each, rough thrust brings me closer and closer to my limit.

"Nngh... Mistress! Oh, _fuck, Mistress_!" I cry wildly, throwing my head back as I finally come- a wild, explosive orgasm that sends a shiver up my body so strong I'm afraid I might actually pass out. The only thing keeping me on my shaking, weak legs and from losing my head completely is the glimmering, tempting promise of one, last reward. I want to be rewarded for a job well done, and as tempting as losing consciousness is, it certainly won't be as satisfying. I'd hate to stumble right as the finish line is in my sights.

"You make the most adorable sounds when you come." Marchesa coos into my ear as she helps me to stand upright, one arm wrapped around me to keep me from falling to my knees while her other hand skillfully unlocks my shackles around my wrists. "You've more that deserved that reward with that cute performance."

"Nnmm..." I moan behind closed lips as I feel her pull out of me, leaving behind one last, tiny jolt of pleasure as she does so. Carefully, she guides me to my knees onto the comforting safety of the mattress where I shamelessly lie with my butt raised into the air. At this point, I really don't care how dumb or silly I look, right now this pose is comfortable as hell (and it also doesn't hurt that Marchessa gives my ass the most loving of squeezes). "Mistress, I..."

"Hush, now. Right now your mouth has better uses other than for talking." I hear Marchesa say in a voice that is equal-parts comforting and commanding as I hear her undo her strap-on, allowing it to loosely fall at her feet. I gaze from where I lie, watching her feet as she walks around me, and god, if she asked me right now, I would very gladly kiss them. Instead I watch as she stops and sits herself down in front of me, relaxed against the headboard of her bed. With a devilish smile that leaves me swooning like a moron, she opens her legs wide, giving me a full view of her pussy as she beckons me over with a single wave of her hand. "Come here, indulge yourself to your heart's content."

"Yes, Mistress..." I gently gasp, trying to hold back my excitement as I wobble onto my hands and knees before clumsily crawling over to her. She places her hand on the top of my head once I'm in reach and guides me down between her legs, where I am more than happy to be. I want to hold myself back but right now I couldn't even hold up a feather much less hold back my overwhelming desire to lick, suck and taste her again. I abandon my dignity and almost immediately push my tongue passed her outer lips and dive deep into her moist, inviting warmth.

I hear Marchesa moan as she grasps a handful of my hair, and it seems as if she doesn't have any qualms with me refusing to hold myself back either. My licks are greedy and hungry, like I've been dying of hunger and thirst and she's presented me with my first meal I've had in days. And maybe there's some truth to that, seeing as it's been nearly a week since she allowed me a taste the first time. It's been nearly a week, but it feels like so much longer- hell, it feels like a lifetime, and now I'm here again, getting to enjoy her flavor once more.

"So eager to please your Mistress- what a good little pet you are." Marchesa speaks through heavy breaths. She grinds against my mouth and I match her rhythm with my tongue. She moans and I moan back. In no time at all, it seems we've developed a method for communicating while I eat her out: a language of licking, moaning and panting, and we immediately become experts.

"Ooh... Lili..." I hear her moan. Hearing her say that name in her voice overtaken by pleasure is electrifying. It's better than her flogger or the nipple clamps or the strap-on or any of her other countless toys I've gotten to intimately know tonight. That single word- that name that she has given me for our game- is the ultimate bliss. Nothing can compare to hearing her moan out that name while she arches her back and squeezed my head between her thighs.

"Mistress..." I moan back between slurps. I could say that name over and over again. I want to call out that title of hers as much as I can before this game comes to an end for the night. I wish I could say that name forever. "Mistress! Mistress!"

"Lili... Lili! _Nnng, Lili_!" She cries, her voice starting to waver. It's strange, as I cast a curious gaze up at her, but as her O-face slowly starts to form, I don't see her as my Mistress- as the woman who has dominated me for hours and has had me wrapped around her little finger all this time. Instead, in that moment as her lips part in an adorable, overwhelmed whine, she's just... Marchesa. Not my Mistress, not my boss, not my ex from college, just... _Marchesa_.

In that small moment between breaths, my heart throbs in my chest.

" _Aaahn_! I-I'm _coming_!" She cries in a unique, almost odd moment of weakness as she tightly grabs a fist-full of my hair. I can feel her entire body shiver as I continue to lick and suck. I can feel her insides quiver and throb around my tongue as I get one last, healthy taste of her.

And, as the haze begins to lift and the both of us drift back to reality, I allow myself my own moment of weakness as I think to myself,

" _I think... I'm falling in love with my boss."_

** Selvala **

Never in my life have I been so un-enthused looking out at a dancing crowd. While they all bob and shift to the beat of the pounding dance music, moving like the chaotic waves on a story sea, beneath flashing lights, I sit at the bar and nurse my second margarita with a bitterness that's enough to leave me feeling ashamed. I mean, this is a "club", of course it's only natural for them to actually put on events like a normal club would... but I didn't come here expecting a "normal club". If I wanted to get ground against by strangers and get drunk on mixed drinks, I could have gone to any old club. _But I didn't, goddammit!_

Club Rakdos has been my nightly haunt every day this week since I first came here with Liliana. I don't really know why myself, even though I said to everyone I wouldn't be coming back... and yet here I am, going on five nights in a row where I wind up making the now-familiar trip down to the ol' BDSM club. A few people have even started to recognize me, and a few people out of that few have been given the privilege of being on a first-name basis with me. I said I wasn't coming back, but if anybody knew me well enough, they'd know I'm a fantastic liar.

The very day I had declared I wasn't going to return I wound up sneaking back to this place by myself. I didn't know what I was looking for, necessarily, maybe I was there to quench that last little bit of curiosity, or maybe I wanted to scratch some weird itch I never knew I had. Maybe I'm actually a freak, just like everyone else who comes here. But that night, there was another one of those performances, like when I had visited the first time but... that time was different. The first performance I had seen left me captivated for all the wrong reasons: It looked like it really hurt, it looked uncomfortable, it looked confining and I was honestly really worried for the girl who had been tied up and gagged on stage for everyone to see. It had been like watching a car accident: hurting to watch, but you can't look away.

But the second time I showed up and was drawn to that stage I found myself absolutely entranced by the couple on stage. It was a different man and woman, and they had a very different energy, as well as performance. The woman, who was considerably smaller than her partner, was playing the dominant role, and she did so with such finesse and charisma, it hit me like I had stuck a fork in an electrical socket. The first time I cringed and shuddered my way through the live performance, but the second time, I don't even think I blinked. I don't even think I _breathed_.

It was all the same sort of stuff: ropes, blindfolds, a little bit of discomfort, a sprinkle of things that looked genuinely painful... but there was something in their act that left me spellbound and breathless. This wasn't a performance meant to shock- the chemistry between the two of them was unreal, and watching them on stage as they went about living out some sick twisted fantasy for all to see... _fuck_ , I can't deny it left me a little turned on. I _could_ tell you that I didn't go home to furiously masturbate but...even the most skilled of liars falter sometimes.

After that, I returned every night, soaking in every performance and actually started to get to know people. It was strange, at first, interacting with people while trying not to stare at their collars and sometimes their more... colorful choice of clothing. But, so many of them were actually down to earth and normal, I started forgetting where I actually was. I started forgetting how strange all of this was. I started forgetting I promised I wasn't coming back.

However, tonight that promise seems incredibly tempting. There isn't a performance, and there's no way I'm going to be able to find the people who I've gotten to know in that crowd. Tonight, this place is just another wild dance club, and for once I wish it wasn't. For once I feel... let down, in a way.

"Funny, I sort of expected to see you out there on the dance floor, not skulking around the bar." A voice behind me laughs, and I turn around to face the bartender with the same bitter expression I was giving the dancing crowd: like I had just sucked on a whole lemon.

"I'm not 'skulking', I'm _drinking_. Don't you have drinks to serve?" I ask him coldly.

"Not at the moment. Everyone else is out there, having a good time. You're the only one over here- what was it- 'drinking'." He says with this annoyingly knowing smirk.

"I don't need a damn bartender judging me for what I decide to do with my time, you know." I grumble as I take a long sip of my drink.

"Club owner, but got off, I guess." He says back, matching my cold demeanor with his own. "And I'm not judging you- this is honestly the last place anyone can judge anybody for anything, if you've forgotten where this is."

"...Sorry..." I sigh after a short, intense stare-off with the guy who apparently owns the place. I'm not bowing to his authority, I just don't want to ruin my mood any more than it already has been. "I'm just... a little let down, if you don't mind me saying."

"By what? You struck me as the type to like this kind of scene. Sorry, if it's a little creepy of me to do, but I try to keep an eye on my newer patrons and you... I honestly didn't expect to see you back here a second time, let alone almost every night this week." He explains as he goes about busying himself with cleaning glasses.

"I..." I start, my defenses raised and excuses at the ready. But in an instant it all comes falling down, like the drop in the beat of the dance music playing loudly at my back. I can lie to my friends who have no idea I've been coming back here, and I can even lie to myself, saying I'm just curious and want to check this place out just one more time for the thousandth time. But this guy has seen me come in every single damn time, and he apparently owns the place for fuck's sake. There's no reason to lie to him- there's no reason to hide my interest in this place from the guy who runs the joint.

"I guess you could say I'm... _interested_." I struggle to say as I run my finger around the rim of my glass, collecting scant remains of salt. "Don't get it twisted, I don't want to get tied up or humiliated, and if I have to call a guy "Master" even once I'm pretty sure I'd die right there on the spot..."

"You'd rather be the one in control, huh?" The club owner asks, a slight smile curling at the edges of his lips. It's not a mocking look- it doesn't feel like he's about to make fun of me. He seems... strangely, genuinely interested in what I have to say.

"I want to know how it feels to have all that power and charisma... and I just want to know what it's like to have someone who would trust me with that kind of power." I struggle to explain as I suck on ice cubes. My second margarita is empty, and I'm semi-tempted to order a third. "I'm just so damn sick and tired of all the "yes, sir", "yes, ma'am" work I do all the time so... I've been coming back here just to watch those performances you put on all the time, even if it's just for a taste of that."

"So, you _didn't_ come here just for clubbing." The club owner confirms with a cheekily raised eyebrow.

"No shit- good job finally solving that mystery there, Sherlock." I grumble as I sit my glass down on the bar.

"The name's Tibalt, actually."

"I don't remember asking."

"Well, I'd rather you call me by my name than refer to me as 'a damn bartender', and I don't really feel comfortable when people call me 'sir' either, so if you plan on coming back I'd rather you know my name, at least, before you go running off." He retorts. "Unless your itching for a third round of drinks."

"...Fine, since you offered. Maybe something not as strong, this time." I suggest as I turn back towards the dance floor. If I squint I can see a few familiar faces- a few familiar collars. But they're all dancing with one another, there's no real place out there for me. Not now, certainly not by myself. I didn't come here to sit at the bar and be bitter, but I also didn't come here to get overwhelmingly depressed, either.

"Here you go- on the house." Tibalt says, and I turn around to see a normal glass, filled to the brim with ice and my drink.

"... Is this _water_?" I ask him, narrowing my eyes.

"Heh, well, I mean, you did ask for something less strong. Can't get any weaker than that!" He jokes, getting one hell of a kick out of it, judging by his grin. "Hah... sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. I can actually make you a legitimate drink, if you want."

"No, this is fine." I sigh as I take the glass and take a long, thoughtful sip. "Getting wasted off my ass by myself on a weekend night is just a little too sad, even for me."

"Well, I'm here, if that's any consolation." Tibalt offers up sarcastically.

"Would it incredibly hurt your feelings if I said it really wasn't?" I groan. "...Thanks, though."

"You know, for future reference, we normally host regular club nights like this on the weekends, if that's not you want to come visit for." He suggests. "But... during the day, beforehand, we actually hold demonstrations and classes here. They're meet-ups for people who want to learn about the whole BDSM thing, and also for people who want to teach. It's also a good way to meet people who might be, you know, looking for someone to 'trust with that kind of power', like you put it. Maybe that way, you won't have to spend too many nights drinking by yourself alone anymore."

"Oh? What happened to 'well, I'm here'?" I quip back.

"Well, if you're interested, we're hosting a class tomorrow on basic ropework, and I _will_ be there." Tibalt offers. "If you're genuinely interested in this stuff, it wouldn't be all that bad an idea to show your face."

"Ropework? You mean like that really intricate criss-cross stuff I've seen?" I ask him, trying to wrap my brain around the idea. I can hardly tie a simple knot to save my life- wasn't really ever that much of a girl scout.

"Well, I mean, essentially, but it's best to learn to walk before you can run." He chuckles. "So, what do you say- you interested? We meet here at 11."

"I..." I think for a moment, tapping my nails against the glass of my cup. "I guess I could free up some time in my schedule tomorrow, see what all this business with ropes is all about."

"Glad to hear it." Tibalt says, his grin a little too victorious for my liking. "So I guess I'll be seeing you around again..." He pauses, eyeing me curiously and after a few embarrassingly long seconds I realize he's waiting for me to give him my name. I guess, if the damn owner of the club is so open to being on a first-name basis, it certainly wouldn't be all that wrong of me to tell him.

"O-oh, it's Selvala." I say. "Or, as people at the office call me 'That Bitch Selvala'."

"Ooh, love it, but I think I'll just stick with Selvla for now."

"I do have one last question, though, if you don't mind." I interject.

"Go ahead, I'm happy to answer." Tibalt welcomes as I rests his elbows on the bar top.

"If you own this place, and you're into all this stuff, which are you? A 'dom', or a 'sub'?"

I expect a lot of things, but I certainly don't expect Tibalt to throw back his head and laugh, although I struggle to find exactly what's so amusing.

"That, my friend, is a secret only my partners get to know." He says with a smirk, eyeing me with the most amused gaze he could possibly have mustered.

"Well, I'll have you know, back at the office," I chuckle as I hold the glass of water up to my lips, "I have quite the talent of finding out and exposing people's secrets."

** Marchesa **

Liliana cuddles up to me, her body positioned squarely between my legs as she sighs, sounding both extremely exhausted and completely content. I'm honestly still trying to catch my breath as the two of us slowly come down from our high. At this point, I don't know if I should tell her "you're welcome" or "thank you"- I honestly wonder if I can remember how to talk at all. The only word that's on my lips that my overclocked brain can process is "Lili", but right now the focus should be coming back from our game, not perpetuating it.

"Holy _shit_..." Liliana finally speaks up, looking up from my chest where she'd been resting her head to look up at me. It looks like she has so many other words to say, but all it comes out as is, "holy shit."

"Holy shit is right." I sigh. "I-I'm sorry if that was a little too much for you. I might have gone a little overboard with how much I planned for-"

Before I can finish, Liliana pulls herself up and presses a deep, grateful kiss against my lips. It's that kiss that's able to get across more than the single "holy shit" she was just barely able to manage, and I decide to reciprocate and say what I want to say back with my own kiss. Her lips are so kissably-soft, I can't help but nibble at them a bit before she pulls away.

"That... that was..." She begins, brushing hair out of her face as she starts to try and collect herself. As she fumbles with her words, an almost goofy smile appears on her lips as a winded laugh escapes her. "Holy shit."

_Ah, so it was a good 'holy shit'._

"So I'm guessing it was everything you wanted?" I ask anyway. I want my ego stroked at this point, it's probably the last part of me that hasn't been tonight.

"Everything I'd hoped for and more." Liliana sighs happily. "Thank you..." She pauses with a slight giggle, adding an almost joking-sounding, "...Mistress."

"You know, I'm pretty sure we've already had this sort of conversation." I smirk. "It's just 'Marchesa' now."

"Yeah, I know, I know..." Liliana rolls her eyes, sounding just the slightest bit downtrodden.

Ah, right, this is the part last time when I failed. This is the part where I drew back the curtain, forced the spell to be lifted and sent her on her way without hardly even a goodbye. I can tell by her expression that it's still a sensitive wound, and it's still pretty sore for me, too. This is where we found ourselves the last time, reaffirming our normal roles with her looking up at me, vulnerably, in my lap- at my mercy. But, this time, I'm not going to chicken out. This time, I know better. I want to properly treat that old wound.

"God, we wreak of sweat, sex and latex- I can't think of anything better than a bath." I say with a slight chuckle as I sit up a little straighter. "How about you? You're- uh- butt doing okay?" I look down at my handywork, her once-unblemished skin covered in red marks. I feel I may have been a little too rough, but I hear Liliana snicker and it makes me feel a little more at ease.

"I think it's gonna pull through, doc." She laughs. "I bath would feel absolutely amazing, though."

She starts to pull away but before she can I pull her back, wrapping my finger around the loop of her collar to coax her back onto my lap. She obeys, albeit with a bit of attitude, which earns her a chuckle from me rather than a playful spanking like it would have before.

"You need something?" She asks, a grin on her lips.

"I..." What I _really_ want to say is on the tip of my tongue. What I _really_ want to say is making my heart ound and my mind race. There's something I _really_ want to tell her, but I can't quite force it out of me, so instead, I'm left with plan B. "One last kiss, before we get up."

"Heh, fine." She giggles, resting her hands on my shoulders as she leans in. "Who knew I had such a needy Mistress."

* * *

 

I'm pretty sure I put way too many kinds of bath salts into the tub, and it leaves the entire bathroom smelling like an herbal nightmare, but Liliana doesn't seem to mind as she relaxes against me, heaving a sigh as she snuggles into my lap. It's been an eternity since I had the time to sit back and take a bath, and it's been even longer than that since I've shared it with someone else. My nose feels like it's being assaulted by twelve different kinds of medical herbs, but other than that, this feels oh-so-right. After a long, hard afternoon of sexually dominating someone, nothing feels better than a bath!

"Hey, Marchesa... can I ask you something?" Liliana speaks up just as I feel like I'm going to put myself at risk for drowning by falling asleep in the tub.

"Hmm? If it's about how many salts I threw in the water, I honestly lost count. Should be fine though, I think we'd know by now if something were wrong." I explain, which Liliana accepts with a snort.

"No, not that, _god_..." She muttered, shaking her head.

"Ah, sorry- what is it?"

"... Why did you break up with me in college?" She asks after a short pause, and suddenly I'm feeling more awake than ever.

"Wow, do you usually ask all the heavy questions after sex?" I laugh nervously.

"Was it because of all this? We're you afraid I'd find it weird?" She continues to pry.

"Come on, it happened so long ago, does it really matter at this point?" I ask her, and she pulls away and turns around, looking me in the eyes with a stare so intense I feel like I can't breath for a split second (or, it could be the intense herbal smell rising from the water, I don't know).

"It matters to me!" She insists. "It... It's mattered to me for a really long time now..."

"I... I was afraid you'd think I was weird. I was... afraid you'd reject me." I try to explain. It's hard to try and bring reason into decisions you made while you were still young and stupid. It all makes sense in my head, but trying to actually put it to words and not make it sound like I made one of the dumbest calls in my life is a touch more difficult. "I was also afraid you'd be okay with it all... and that I'd wind up hurting you."

"Well, clearly, I'm fine now." Liliana laughs. "I mean, my ass is a little sore, but I think I can manage that."

"Well, of course, with the magic of hindsight we know you would have been fine. But I didn't know that back then and, well..." I bite my lip, having to get a hold of myself before my voice starts to quiver. "I... I loved you... and the thought of you rejecting me... or getting hurt by me was terrifying."

"So you decided it would be better that I hate you!?" Liliana exclaims, looking more hurt than angry.

"I'm sorry!" I gasp, and by the look on her face, she was honestly not expecting me to apologize so suddenly. "It... It was selfish of me to just break things off with you because I was scared. I... I'm sorry."

It's Liliana's turn to surprise me as she suddenly throws her arms around me, wrapping me in a tight embrace, like she's expecting me to try and make an escape.

"L-Liliana!"

"You're an idiot!" She snaps, still refusing to release me from her embrace. "You're such a fucking idiot!" Her face is buried between my neck and my shoulder, so I can't quite make out her expression, but I can see that her shoulders are shaking, and I can hear the slightest quiver in her voice.

"Yeah, I know..." I say as I slowly wrap my arms around her, embracing her back. "I've known that for a really long time."

We sit in silence, holding each other, for what feels like hours. I'm perfectly content with lying here, holding Liliana until she's had her fill of my embrace, even though the scent of the bath salts makes it feel like I'm slowly getting suffocated by mint. I want to tell her everything- about Judith, about Club Rakdos, and everything she's missed. I want to spill my guts to her about it all but... I hold myself back, instead choosing the peaceful silence over coming clean about everything.

In the end, Liliana doesn't really need to know about my passed subs anyway. It's not like she's my girlfriend or anything... _right?_

"Hey." I finally speak up.

"What?" She asks roughly, her words muffled by my shoulder.

"...You still like binging those shitty, old horror flicks?" I ask her.

"The foreign ones with shoe-string budgets, yeah." She says with a nod, finally pulling away just a bit, at least enough to give me a nod.

"So how does a couple of those and a pizza sound?" I offer.

"...I'd love that." Liliana says through a light, exhausted chuckle.

"Yeah." I respond with a smile. "I'd love that, too."


	7. Affectionate, Awkward, Irritating

**Judith**

Irritating. Irritating! _Irritating!_

Lately, BDSM is the only thing that brings me satisfaction anymore. Everything else- my job, other odd hobbies, my friends- has muted itself into a dull gray, and the only time I feel myself come alive is when there are ropes involved. I wish I could be feeling that level of satisfaction right now, lying naked on my bed, coming down from that familiar high- but now, all I feel is irritated. All I feel is the stinging itch of annoyance, when I should be feeling the faint echoes left behind by my orgasm.

I can feel the edge of my lip twitch in anger in time with the sounds of sobbing. God knows I didn't quite know what I was signing up for, but it definitely wasn't _this_.

Exava sits on the edge of my bed, being the physical manifestation of my irritation as she rubs at her wrists and cries. _Fuck_ , her crying is annoying. How she's just a little too chubby to fit into any of the outfits I had ready for tonight is annoying. How she shrinks away and looks over her shoulder is annoying. The way she cried out "Rose" was annoying. I welcomed her into my home to be her domme, not to be her friend- I can't keep on stopping the game every five seconds to ask if she's okay and does she want anything- a pillow, a drink, a fucking back rub? And she came here to be my sub, but right now she's nothing more than a sniveling, shivering mess taking up space on the bed.

But still, I have a role to play. I have a mask to wear, even now, when I'm stewing in these feelings of annoyance and frustration I have to keep up a facade- not for her sake, and not really even for mine. It's like I have something to prove to a third member who isn't here physically, but is present at all times in the air that constantly seems to hang around me like a goddamn stink. So, I sit up- Exava flinches. I reach out- Exava flinches. I rest a hand on her shoulder- she _gasps_!

Irritating! Irritating! _Irritating!_

"You alright?" I ask her, slightly gripping her shoulder. With a groan, she pulls away from my touch and stumbles off the bed, still rubbing at her wrists that have been left red from the ropes- her fault, really, she shouldn't have fought against the restraints so hard. She shouldn't have struggled and wriggled and squirmed around like a fish pulled onto dry land.

"What do you _think_ , Judith!?" She snaps, her words surprisingly sharp and harsh despite her quivering lip. "I said the safeword over and over, and you wouldn't listen to me!"

"Come on, it couldn't have hurt _that_ bad." I groan and roll my eyes as I shift around and throw my legs over the edge of the bed. We could be using these moments for aftercare, where I could hold her shaking body in my arms and perform my required duties as her domme, but instead she's decided it's better just to waste the time arguing with me. It's honestly her loss, she chose to get off the bed and snap at me- I'm not the one who chose for things to go this way.

"You don't get to decide that!" Exava shouts. "The safeword is an absolute, you said that yourself! It doesn't matter what you think, it's not up to you to decide when to use it!"

"Alright, _alright_ , calm down- you're going to wake the neighbors." I sigh. "I'll keep that in mind for next time- that you're a _little baby_ and you can't take the stuff you _fucking ask for_." I can't help it, my irritation is starting to seep through. My lips form into a slight snarl as I speak as I toss my hair back over my shoulder.

"There's not going to be a 'next time' Judith, I'm done with this!" Exava shakes her head furiously, and as she speaks her voice takes on a surprisingly acidic tone. She smiles bitterly and palms her forehead, like I've given her a headache. _Well, that certainly makes two of us now, at least._ "Everybody told me you were bad news- I should have fucking listened! They _told_ me you were a fucking freak, and let me tell you, among people like us that's _really_ saying something. No wonder your old girlfriend left you, someone as unfeeling as you could never-"

My body reacts before my mind even has a chance to process all of her words. All she had to say was "girlfriend" and something inside me snaps. I rise from my bed, my feet hitting the wood floor below with a horribly-loud thud. I can see Exava flinch in surprise, hands half-raised to defend herself, but before she can lift them to cover her face, I strike her across the cheek. It's a blow hard enough to leave my hand stinging, and Exava folds forward as she holds her face in surprise. Her shrill, pained gasp fills my bedroom, followed only by silence. There's no more crying, no more sobbing, hell, I would go as far as to say there isn't even the sound of breathing. Just us looking back at one another, processing the moment- processing the pain.

"I-I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me just now-" I start to apologize, and for once I'm not acting or saying this because I need to. I don't know what came over me, there was really no reason to slap her. It just... happened. And I'm standing here, trying to process if I should feel good about what I've done or not. It's a domme's job to administer proper punishment to their sub but... maybe this was a little excessive.

"Don't touch me!" Exava gasps, taking a step back as I take a step forward. She looks back at me, like I've suddenly transformed into some terrifying monster, ready to rend her flesh with my claws and crunch her head between my teeth. Where's the attitude she had only moments ago, I wonder? Where is that disrespectful bitch who was calling me a freak like she figured me all out? All it took was one little slap, and now I'm the big, bad domme. "Just... fucking stay away from me, Judith!"

"I said I was sorry, what more do you want!?" I grumble, folding my arms.

"If you can just ignore me when I use the goddamn safeword that you picked out, then I don't have to accept your half-assed apology!" Exava cries as she stands back up to her full height, removing her hand from her cheek long enough to reveal just how red it is. It's redder than the marks left around her wrists.

"I mean, you pretty much asked for it, bringing up shit from my past." I mutter. "You knew what you were getting into, egging me on like that and you knew what you were getting into with me, if everybody had all sorts of things to say about how I'm a 'freak'. You have nobody to blame but yourself in this situation."

"... And now I know what I'm getting _out of_." Exava snarls. Her words hit surprisingly hard, and as she goes about picking up her clothes and dressing herself, all the while sniffling and hiccuping, I can do nothing but watch. I don't have any words to say that would make her stay... I don't know if I'd even want to muster them, even if I did have them. I don't feel at a loss, as Exava picks up her things and heads for the door. All I feel... is irritation.

"Don't fucking call me, I won't pick up," are her parting words as she heads out my bedroom door. I can hear her furious footsteps head for the front, but I don't go after her- mostly because I'm still naked, but also because I... really don't feel like I need to. She's still in the apartment, but as far as I see it, Exava is far, far behind me now, with only the memory of how slapping her across the face stung the palm of my hand to keep me company. "Don't talk to be at the club if you see me, either!"

I hear her slam the door to my apartment... and that's that. I heave a sigh, feeling exhausted and heavy as I look around the room at the discarded rope, the ball-gag she refused to wear sitting on my bedside table and the collar she ripped off herself and chucked all the way out of my bedroom and into the hall. I look down at my hand, the skin just as red as Exava's cheek had been, a stinging tingle still crawling just beneath my skin.

_Fuck, I need a drink._

Not bothering to throw on even my underwear, I walk to my kitchen, feeling not quite 100% in my body. I feel like my soul is lagging just a half-second behind me, and I wind up standing, spacing out in front of my open fridge, basking in the glow from inside as I half-reflect and half-search for a beer.

Exava had seemed so promising, a little outlier from the group at Club Rakdos who has labeled me public enemy number one after my fallout with... _her_. A lot of people at that place aren't big fans of me- hell, if Tibalt had been apart of those merry few who took up arms the moment me and _her_ split, I probably wouldn't ever go back. Masochistic tendencies or not, going to a place where everybody hates you is... a little too much. But once in a while I do wind up there, and that's where I met Exava. There had been a thrill once, seeing a girl who was friends with people who thought I was scum. It was like a Romeo and Juliet sort of scenario, except with whips and nipple clamps.

But now, standing alone in my apartment, knocking back a beer in my birthday suit, that thrill is gone. Exava is gone. And honestly... I couldn't care less. She's replaceable, they all are... just like I was.

And, now that she's gone, my mind drifts to another certain little catch I found at the club- one I saw, conquered and haven't seen since. A girl who, even as I tied up Exava and made her my plaything, was always on my mind, and now has the space to occupy every inch of it: _Liliana_. I can still feel her tongue lapping at my slit even now, if I concentrate. She had been the most perfect sub- the way she had let me take the lead completely, how she allowed herself to be tied up and how she moaned "Mistress" against my thighs left me almost hypnotized. I'd given her my phone number after I took away her precious freedom, but in my attempts to seem like a cool, mysterious domme, I sped off without getting her's. So, instead of securing what promised to be everything I had ever wanted wrapped in one, cute package, I've been staring at my phone for the entire rest of the week waiting... _hoping_...

I should be irritated by this... but I'm not. For her I can be patient. For her, I can hold myself back.

Wandering back into my room after quenching my thirst, my mind keeps on replaying that night again and again, now that there's nothing else to occupy my time tonight- no other girl to pay attention to. Outside of not getting her number, my only regret is that we didn't get to continue. The cruel hand of closing time had separated us, leaving me with only what-ifs and fantasies of what could have been. And tonight, just like almost every night since then, I return to them, like the embrace of an old friend.

And just like that, I feel myself become horribly, uncontrollably turned on. Exava couldn't get my engine running this quick and this hot, not by a long shot. Liliana is able to leave me tingling and moist without even _being_ here.

Sitting back down on my bed I spread my legs, allowing my fingers to drift down my body until their positioned between my thighs. Unable to hold back a moan, I begin to slowly stroke myself, feeding, once again, off memories and fantasies of a girl who refuses to fade from my memory. The sound of her moans and the feeling of her tongue are still fresh in my mind. I wish there was more I could get off to, but I'll take what I can get- and what I can get, is definitely enough.

I lean back against the sheets as my petting turns into fingering as I roughly dig deep inside my now sopping wet pussy. It's a shameful display, but I'm in no state to give a damn. I want to come thinking of her again! I want to have a satisfying orgasm as least _once_ tonight! I want to wash away this lingering sensation of annoyance with the sweet, sweet sensation of release. Liliana will take me there... Liliana would gladly...

My eyes drift over to the ball-gag still lying beside my bed. My brain, intoxicated by thoughts of that glorious one-night-stand, leaves me seeking all forms of pleasure, even ones I've left behind long ago. I'm a domme now- these silly toys aren't for me anymore, and yet... the call is just too tempting, especially now with three of my fingers buried to the knuckle inside me. Forcing myself to stop for a few, painful seconds I reach for the gag and, for the briefest moment, I imagine somebody else coaxing the rubber ball into my mouth and wrapping the straps around my head, fastening them tight.

With the gag now muffling my moans I go back to work, going rougher and deeper as drool slides out the side of my mouth.

Tomorrow I'll go back to looking for someone new. Tomorrow I'll go back to watching my phone, waiting and hoping for that phone call. Tomorrow I'll completely forget about Exava, and my hand will stop hurting from having slapped her. For now, however, I just want to enjoy myself.

** Marchesa **

Liliana is fast asleep, but I can't even bring myself to close my eyes. After everything that happened today- down to finding probably the worst horror movie that looked like someone had filmed the whole thing on their phone, Liliana cackling the entire time- I can't seem to relax. An excited energy flows through me, and even though I know I need to sleep, I can't give myself over to rest as easily as Liliana has. I just stare at her sleeping face, so relaxed and content, even though it's in my home, in _my_ bed, in _my_ embrace... and to think she hated my guts just last week. Now that things have finally slowed down after probably the wildest week of my working life, I can't help but reflect on just how bizarre this all is... and how that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Liliana is wearing an old T-shirt of mine from a concert I don't even remember, and also insisted on keeping her collar on, even when it came time to finally call it a night. The way she ran her fingers over it and said she didn't mind when I offered to help her take it off left me feeling breathless. In that moment, it wasn't a domme being happy over having such an obedient, loyal sub, even though it was her telling me she wanted to keep on wearing a collar. It was much too affectionate and trusting... I dare to call it even loving, if the word didn't make my stomach do flips.

I reach out and run my finger along the leather of her collar, gently hooking my finger on the metal loop as complex emotions swim through my head at three in the damn morning. On one hand, it's been a week, but on the other hand, it's not like we're perfect strangers. It's not like, after I broke up with her in college, she suddenly became dead to me. It's not like, every day since, I wished I could live the scene I'm experiencing right this second, all the way down to the collar I put on her myself.

I'm just scared by how... temporary this all feels. No matter how much I cling, I feel like this is all going to vanish. Once Monday hits, I fear this is all going to slip through my fingers, and I'll be much too afraid to bend down to try and pick it all back up and hold it close again. I wonder, even though she's able to sleep so soundly, if Liliana feels this way, too.

Back in college, I feared rejection, or hurting her... now, with Liliana's acceptance and her comfort assured, I fear how fleeting this all feels.

In time I give up on sleep entirely, refusing to lie in bed and slowly get consumed by my fears and worries and feelings so turbulent that they could probably capsize a ship. Instead I carefully roll out of bed, leaving Liliana to peacefully dream by herself, and head downstairs to make a phone call. It's an ungodly hour in the morning, but I know for a fact a certain someone is awake, and right now they're the prefect person to call.

My suspicions are confirmed once Tibalt picks up after a single ring, like he had been keeping his phone nearby- like he had been waiting for me to call. It's incredibly late, but he hardly seems the least bit tired, which makes two of us.

"Marchesa! First you start coming by the club, and then you actually call me- no offense but color me shocked." He laughs.

"I just figured, out of everyone in my contacts, you'd be the one most likely to still be up." I say with a shrug as I carefully walk downstairs. "Seems like I was right- don't you ever sleep?"

"Honey, kink _never_ sleeps." I says with a snort. "And by 'kink', I mean a poor fucker whose employees run out the door the second it's time to close. Would you believe I'm still at the club?"

"What? And here I thought you lived there. Are you telling me the rumor that you're trapped in there by an old curse wasn't true?" I laugh.

"Sometimes, it feels like it." I hear him mutter under his breath. "It's a good thing you called though, something happened tonight, honestly I'm still reeling from it myself."

"Oh, what, cops? Fire? Casualties?" I ask as I walk into my living room and sit on the couch.

"Don't go listing off a bunch of horrible shit without sounding the least bit worried." He sighs. "I run a safe joint, and I'll have you know the building _is_ still standing- amazingly enough. But, I like building suspense- makes my stories feel more important. So why are you calling this early in the morning? You certainly sound alright, so it must not be some sort of major emergency."

"Emergency, no. Major... maybe." I tell him, hearing him mumble an intrigued "hmmmm?" as I speak. "I just... you remember the girl I told you about- the one who I said I was going to see this weekend?"

"Ah yes, the mysterious Miss Complicated." I can't see Tibalt, but I can just hear him cocking an eyebrow and smirking just from his voice alone. "How'd your little weekend romp go? You pull out all the stops? Use all the bells and whistles?"

"Shes in my room, fast asleep as we speak- I'd say I did my job pretty well." I say with a chuckle.

"Pretty well?" He parrots, not at all satisfied with such a simple explanation. I sigh, and he laughs in response. "I'm not one of those stuck up suits you work with, Marchesa, you can tell me a lot more than just that it went 'pretty well'. This shit is _literally_ by job."

"Fine, fine, it was amazing... _she_ was amazing." I add with a satisfied sigh. "Before, BDSM felt like something I _had_ to do- an _obligation._ I would get so tired, and I felt like I was running out of ideas, and out of passion. But with her I... I felt like it was all new to me again. It felt like I was a domme for the first time again. I was afraid things would get awkward at some point but we fell into such perfect sync with each other, it almost felt natural. I... I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I don't even know if I'm making any sense."

"No, you're making perfect sense." Tibalt chuckles, sounding the least bit mocking, which is comforting, to say the least. "It sounds like you're in love."

I can feel my stomach drop into my toes at the mention of the word. I want to reject it, but I can't- not completely. But the word still makes me feel uneasy, and I'm afraid to embrace it, as if it were scalding hot and covered in spines. I loved Liliana... I know for a fact I did, and in the throes of passion I am absolutely certain... but here in the dark, thinking clearly, I'm overcome by reality that beats against my brain like ocean waves against rocks.

"N-no!" I find myself exclaiming, much to both of our surprises.

"No?" Tibalt questions with a bewildered half-laugh. "What do you mean? It sounds like it's the real deal to me, why the sudden denial? I know you-know-who left you a little bruised and battered but... you deserve someone who will love you, and someone who you can give your heart to. Out of everyone I know- and don't tell anybody I said this, or else they'll all start taking me for a big, soft sap- I think you deserve someone to love."

"But I..." I stammer, biting my lip nervously. "I'm just...Me and her, we... we're in a situation where it would be weird... _risky_ , even. What if it all goes wrong, Tibalt? What if the real world forces us apart?"

"'The real world'? What am I, the king of the fairy kingdom or something?" Tibalt asks. "We live in the real world just as much as everyone else, we just occupy our free time differently. What we do is secret, yeah, sure, but is isn't fake."

"God, Tibalt, you know what I mean. People who don't live in our world wouldn't understand... Who I am and who she is outside the bedroom... I'm afraid it wouldn't work out in the end, and we'd only wind up getting hurt. She's amazing, both in bed and in general, but... what if I commit to this, and it winds up in failure again?What if I embrace the way I feel, and it just winds up being temporary?"

"You know, when I answer the phone at three AM I normally don't expect to have such deep, intimate phone calls." Tibalt says scoldingly.

"I know... I'm sorry, I just needed someone to talk to, or else I'd get lost in my own head. This sort of thing tends to happen after you have such a messy fall-out like I did. I cant help but over-think all the ways this could go wrong... all the ways to keep this from becoming what I want it to become." I explain apologetically. "My heart wants to take the chance, but my head is on a ledge and threatening to jump if I do..."

"Well... in my experience, there's nothing wrong with taking things slow. You don't have to make this decision tonight, or next week, or next month. If this girl is as serious about you as you are about her, the wait isn't going to hurt her none either." Tibalt says, his voice warm and soothing, which is an odd thing, coming from him. Part of me wonders if I'm talking to a completely different person and Tibalt's gone back to sweeping the dance floor, or whatever he was doing before I called. "Love is different from kink- love is patient, and love can take time, and that's perfectly normal."

"God, I feel like I should know this already..." I laugh through my sigh.

"In the mean-time, why don't you bring this mystery girl down to the club tomorrow. I'm hosting a ropework class, and we'd love to have you." Tibalt offers.

"I-I don't know, Tibalt..."

"Plus, someone I met tonight is also going to be there- which is what I was going to tell you!" Tibalt says, suddenly sounding incredibly excited.

"Ah, finally, Master, relieve me of the suspense!" I sarcastically moan.

"Heh, well, since you begged..." Tibalt laughs. "There's this girl whose been coming to the club every night- I took her for just a random, vanilla girl who just came to point and laugh at the freakshow, but... it sounds like she's genuinely interested in this stuff and-"

"You find her incredibly attractive, don't you?" I ask with a smirk.

"She's a domme in the making, and we talked nearly until closing time!" Tibalt groans in satisfaction. "She has this cruel-beauty thing going on, and you _know_ that's my preference-made-flesh! The kind that would look really good looking up from the floor while she steps on you with her heels!"

"You know very well I can't relate to that last part- you might as well be speaking another language." I chuckle. "Save the fantasies for the dungeon, you shameless sub."

"You're like, the _queen_ of the dommes, Marchesa, if you showed up tomorrow, sub in tow, it might be the driving force to bring her over to our side! Please, if not for you, then do it for your old friend who hasn't gotten laid in months!" Tibalt pleads.

"You might as well call me 'Mistress' if you're going to beg." I say with an eye-roll.

"Please, March! We'd love to have you... and it would be really nice to meet this girl. Maybe introducing her to your inner circle of freaks will help you two grow closer!"

I think about Tibalt's offer, dedicating an impressive amount of brain power to a simple "yes" or "no". Letting Liliana deeper inside my personal life would definitely bring us closer but... is that what I want? Is this love business something I want to embrace... or something I want to run away from screaming? Do I want to take Liliana's hand and lead her, or do I want to push her out? I want to hold her... but for how long? I'm afraid of even considering I could do so forever. I'm afraid I'll hold on too tight.

"March? You still there? You fall asleep?" I hear Tibalt ask, and I realize I've been silent for way too long.

"I-I'm still here, I'm just... thinking." I finally speak up.

"Well, whatever you're building up to must be pretty profound, even if it's just an invitation to come and tie some people up." Tibalt chortles. "Please, Marchesa, what's one class going to hurt?"

He's right, it could honestly be perfectly painless. But, then again, if everything comes crashing down, even the smallest little bits that come falling to crush me will hurt.

"... Fine, if you want me to show up so badly." I finally give in with a heavy sigh. "But you better not run my friend off, alright? I don't want you trying to play wingman at a ropework class, we're just coming to say hi and, like you said, tie some people up."

"You're not going to regret this, I promise." Tibalt tells me, again, in a surprisingly comforting tone. I look over toward my window, peering out at the dark streets just outside. The world is asleep, but I'm awake, worrying, wondering and, as much as I don't want to, getting my hopes up that things will work out.

"Yeah... I hope so."

**Nissa**

Chandra doesn't usually suggest things for the two of us to do- she normally leaves the creative thinking to me when it comes to our bedroom activities. We've known one another long enough to where she can trust me to take the reigns, and while she's busy brewing coffee I'm normally the one putting together fantasies we can make into reality once we close up shop. I certainly don't mind this, getting to plan out all sorts of games and scenarios certainly has kept that romantic flame a-burning, but tonight I finally get to fulfill a fantasy of Chandra's, and her simply bringing it up to me was enough to get me excited.

She ordered something that came in the mail just this morning, and she was incredibly secretive over what exactly it was. I was honestly starting to expect it was another one of those silly Japanese knick-knacks she likes that look cute and brighten a room but are functionally pretty useless, and she didn't want me to start teasing her about it. However, imagine my surprise when she cornered me with that exact same box she was playing keep-away with me all morning before we opened up the cafe, a blush that put her fiery-red hair to shame on her freckled cheeks- because Chandra is incredibly into things once we get going, but she's a terrible initiator. I'm pretty sure she could never even say the words "please, Mistress" without stammering and blushing in a normal situation.

"What's this?" I remember I asked her with a smirk- only to have that smirk totally ripped off my own damn face when Chandra started going on a long-winded spiel that started with the fact that there was a vibrator in the box, which was enough to hook me from the start. But it's what she wanted me to do that left me almost canceling our diner plans to do exactly what she wanted right then and there. And, let me tell you, making pasta is a thousand times more difficult when you're turned on. I was this close to ordering take-out if my patience hadn't been wearing unbelievably thin.

But now, my wait was being rewarded, one moan and one tempting shiver at a time. Chandra sits tied to the bed, her legs forced apart and her arms tied above her head, blindfolded and squirming at my feet. This scene alone would be hot enough, but there's something incredibly sexy about playing out a scenario that your wife asked for instead of something you came up with yourself. This was something she wanted, and I'm fulfilling that desire. It's like giving your loved one something they wanted as a gift, but much, much sweeter.

"Mistress..." Chandra gasps breathlessly, moving her hips in desperation as I caress her inner thigh with my foot, just barely stopping before I get to where she's coaxing me to touch. I hear her quietly whimper through her moan, her voice quivering as I pull my foot away. "Mmmnnn..."

"If you want something you're going to have to beg for it, my pet." I laugh as I lean over her, reaching down so I can gently grasp her chin and force her to look upward. She blindly looks up, her lips parted as she quietly pants. She's managed to hold on for an impressively long time- I expected her to have absolutely broken down by now, crying and begging for release. Then again, a short game wouldn't be as fun, and we both know this. "If you want something from me, the only way to get it is if you beg- and beg well."

"Mmmnnn... Mistress please... Mistress, please, I want it!" And _boy_ does Chandra beg well. She leans forward as much as her restraints allow, not knowing just how closer our lips are to touching at this very moment as she begs me. I bite my lip, taking the opportunity to let just how much her words are driving me wild show on my face since she can't see it. But I refuse to let it show in my voice as I lean in and speak right into her ear, my words a sultry whisper.

"Oh my, it sounds like you're quite desperate." I say with a dark chuckle. "You must really want it... a release."

"God, please, Mistress!" Chandra moans, shivering as I trace circles around thighs with my fingers. "Please, may I come?"

"Well, let's just see how your Mistress feels." I smile as I take the vibrator, that has been getting some quality use tonight, and flip the switch, turning it on again. A smile of anticipation grows on Chandra's lips as she gasps, hearing the familiar whirring sound. Her excited reaction simply to the noise almost makes me laugh, but I hold my own reaction back as I take the vibrator and, ever-so-gently, press it between her legs. The touch is almost feather-light, and Chandra bucks her hips needily, begging with her body now for more.

"So eager... such a shameful display." I playfully mock her. "Do you want to come that badly?"

"Y-Yes, Mistress! Please, I want to come! Please, let me come!" She begs, her breathing growing heavier the more I press the buzzing vibrator against her privates. She grinds against it the best she can, each of her heavy breaths a moan that's practically music to my ears. Rewarding her just the slightest bit more, I press even harder, finding just the right position to make her shiver and cry out in pleasure.

"Nnng... y-yes..." I hear her breathlessly mutter. Her breathing becomes heavier, she arches her back, her toes start to curl- but just when the tiniest moan escapes her, I pull back, leaving her grinding against nothing but air. Her panting becomes desperate as she squirms, once again robbed of the orgasm she so very much longs for. I had planned for this to be it, but at the very last second I drew back, deciding to punish her one last time, just to see that look on her face one last time.

"Hmmm... maybe not quite yet..." I say teasingly, turning the vibrator off again. Chandra groans, a legitimate noise of frustration, as she looks forward blindly and hitting me with a needy frown. Her lip quivers and for a second, her panting becomes a sob.

"M-Mistress... Please... I beg you!" She pants, and for a second, I actually start to feel a pang of guilt that breaks through my haze brought on by how unbelievably horny I am.

"Shhh, my pet, don't be upset. Your Mistress would never hurt you, so please don't cry." I say, even though the voice in my head is actually saying something along the lines of, "Oh my god, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I promise I didn't want to hurt you, please don't get upset!" But, of course, that's talk for when I accidentally drop a box full of cans of coffee grounds onto her foot. My apologies now need more of a finesse, or else I'll throw everything off.

"Nnngg..." Chandra moans in an almost frustrated way as I lean in and press a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Forgive me, my pet, I just thought it would be more appropriate if I gave you what you desired with my own hands." I explain as I slide my hands down from her collar to her chest, down her stomach and down to her abdomen. "I'd rather give you that orgasm using a more... personal touch."

"M-Mistress..." She stammers as I slowly reach between her legs, running a single finger up her slit and rubbing against her clit. I hear her gasp, the frustrated frown that had been on her lips softening slightly.

"You're very special to me, I would never do something just to hurt you." I promise her, pressing a kiss against her lips this time as I continue to caress between her legs. While I rub and play with her clit with my thumb, I burrow inside her with a finger, finding all the old, familiar places that make her shiver and moan. I know Chandra inside and out, and know her every sweet spot. She's so incredibly close, it will hardly take any time at all, but even if she wasn't, it's almost brag-worthy how quickly I can get her to come with just my fingers that have gotten to know her intimately for years and years.

"I-I know..." Chandra says with a nod and a moan.

"I love you," I cant help but get caught up now, nearly calling her by her name, and it almost feels wrong to not say it at the end of those three particular words. So, instead, I lift her blindfold with my free-hand and let my eyes do the talking. Chandra blinks several times before looking back at me, a trusting, passionate look in her eyes that grows more and more overcome the closer she grows to climax.

"I-I love you, too, Mistress..." She speaks breathlessly before I lean in and reward her with a deeper, rougher kiss. And, as I nibble at her lip, I can hear her moan against mine as she arches her back and she tightens herself around my fingers. She grinds against them, moan after moan growing louder and louder as she finally is allowed the orgasm she had been begging me for. I feel each shudder and feel each gasp and moan against my lips as I continue to kiss her until she loosens up, her spasms grow weak and her body grows still.

Pulling away, I look deep into her eyes, half-lidded and brimming with passion, and at first the two of us are silent, basking in the afterglow and drinking in the peace that has settled between us. It's a welcome silence, not awkward or frustrating- we just need to catch our breath and steady ourselves. I'm personally longing to hear those words that I never get enogh of hearing- those words that make every little late-night game of ours worth it. And finally, between breathless panting, with a loving smile, Chandra finally gives me what I've been waiting for.

"Thank you, Mistress."

** Liliana **

I wake up to the faint smell of something burning, and open my eyes to a room that strikes me as unfamiliar at first, but as the memories of the night before nestle back in to my slowly-waking brain I relax back into the sheets. They smell like Marchesa- who, in fact, isn't waking up beside me, smiling back at me as she wakes as the sun caresses her face. I mean, you see that kind of scene enough in movies, you hope to one day experience it for yourself- but instead I'm alone, left to puzzle just what in the hell that _burning smell is!_

"The hell..." I mutter as I sit up, running my fingers through my hair as I look around. Marcesa's room is just like the rest of her house- impressively furnished, but not as neat and tidy. A few outfits are thrown over a chair near the door, papers and folders full of even more papers are stacked on her bedside table and her dresser, as well as around the bed. It looks like she does most of her work in her bedroom when she's not at the office. I can just see her now, hunched over her laptop, surrounded by papers arranged like some sort of bizarre summoning circle- just like back in college.

One other detail is the photos she has hung up all about her room. It seems Marchesa has a lot of friends- and none of them are from the office. Every photo is of the real Marchesa, the confident, charismatic domme that nobody at the office knows. There are no pictures of her in her work clothes, prim and proper, no pictures taken solely just to seem official and important. In this room, are windows into the life of the real Marchesa- the one who I've been given the pleasure to know in every sense of the word.

Much to my curiosity, though there are a few empty frames, still set up with the rest of the photos, both handing or sitting completely empty. If it was one or two it wouldn't really strike me as odd but there are _several_ , and I can't help but wonder what used to be inside of them. I'd consider sleuthing around the bedroom in search of these missing photos, but I think that sneaking around and digging into Marchesa's privacy, especially after last night, would be in incredibly poor taste.

That and I really want to know what the hell that burning smell is, and where it's coming from. If there's a fire burning somewhere in this place, I really don't want to go down looking for a few photos that have nothing to do with me. So, dressed in nothing but the T-shirt Marchessa loaned out to me and my underwear, I wander curiously out of the room.

The search for the cause of the smokey odor leads me to the kitchen, where I finally locate Marchesa, who looks back at me at first like she's seen a ghost. Her phone slips from her hands like a bar of soap, and she scrambles to catch to keep it from clattering to the ground.

"Oh! You're up!" She exclaims once her phone is safely in her grasp.

"Kind of hard to sleep when it smells like the place is going up in flames." I say with a smirk as I turn to the sink, catching the sight of a frying pan and something that was probably, at one time, meant to be edible, but now is nothing but soggy charcoal. Marchesa blushes as she, too, looks into the sink, a look of shame on her face as she heaves a sigh.

"It's pancakes... or was pancakes..." She explains with a disappointed frown. "I don't get much time to cook for myself these days, but you think if you follow a recipe, how hard can it be? ... Well, turns out that answer is 'really hard, actually' and, well..." She pauses as she reaches beside her to pick up a plate beside her, offering me what looks to be what she made as an alternative. "Pop Tart?"

I swear to god, I'm going to see her at work after this, in boss mode, and all I'm going to see is her with a horribly disheveled look, offering me a plate and saying "Pop Tart?" in a tone like it's some kind of apology. Out of everything I've seen and experienced this weekend, this image, of all things, is burned inside my mind now, and it's not going to go away any time soon.

"You have a secret sex room, you _really_ like mint bath salts, you can't cook- I sure am learning a whole lot about you lately." I chuckle as I walk over to join her at the counter and take a Pop Tart.

"Well, would you like to know more?" She asks, piquing my curiosity.

"In a personal way or, like, in a kinky way?" I ask her jokingly, taking a bite of my food. "Because, I mean, I'm open to both."

"Funny you should say that, because it's a little bit of both, actually." She explains. Instead of asking with my mouth full, I wait for her to explain, which it looks like she's searching for some sort or way to. "There's... this club I used to go to a lot... a lot of really cool people go there, but it's a BDSM club and, I know it sounds really weird but-"

"Oh, are you talking about Club Rakdos!?" I suddenly ask- speaking of things sounding really weird. Marchesa hits me with a surprised look, and now it seems it's my turn to explain.

"You know about Club Rakdos?"

"Uh, well, yeah... Selvala found the place and she dragged me there a few days ago." I tell her. "It was a... nice place, interesting aesthetic." I decide to leave out the part about how I got tied up and ate out another woman- I feel that part of the tale would be in bad taste right now. Not exactly something you share with somebody, who you were just intimate with the other night, over Pop Tarts.

"Well, I guess that makes explaining to concept a lot easier." She says with what sounds like a relieved sigh. "You... meet anybody there?" It's not a question asked in suspicion, like she has a hunch I got it on with somebody while I was there. It sounds more worried, like I may have met the wrong people- people who Marchesa doesn't appear to like...

"I... I actually met the owner of the club. He works the bar and is a really... _social_ guy." I explain, once again skipping right over Judith for the sake of keeping things as simple as possible. I don't know much about her, but Miss My-Aftercare-is-a-Motor-Bike gives off the aura of being... _complicated_.

"Ha, 'social', that's one way of putting it." Marchesa laughs, and I can feel myself relax. "That's Tibalt and he... he's a real character. Harmless as a flea, but still, a flea with some character."

"So, what about Club Rakdos?" I ask, gently steering the conversation away from who I met there.

"O-oh right!" Marchesa exclaims. "Well, they hold classes in the morning on weekends, and I just figured... maybe you'd like to meet some more people like me... like, maybe you'd want to meet the people who I'm actually friends with... you know, if you want, it's up to you. We can kick it here, if you want, I still have a few ideas..."

As tempting as the idea of just having more wild, kinky sex sounds, I can't help but notice the look on Marchesa's face. It's incredibly vulnerable, like she's offering me something a lot more personal than just an afternoon full of sex. The way her gaze uneasily wavers, jumping from me, to the floor, to the Pop Tarts, back to me, to the sink- how her cheeks flush slightly and how she grips the counter behind her, it all makes it seem like she's exposing an important part of herself, and hoping _desperately_ that I'll accept it.

"Sounds tempting... but meeting a bunch of fellow weirdos sounds like a really good time." I tell her with a smile as I reach out and rest my hand on top of hers. "Plus, they're your friends, how bad can they be?"

"They won't bite, I swear." Marchesa laughs, sounding incredibly relieved all of a sudden. Perhaps her laugh was meant to disguise a heavy sigh, or a breath she had been holding. "But it is a ropework class, so they might tie you up a little."

"Hey, if I've learned anything lately, it's that anything to do with getting tied up is fine with me." I grin. "I'd love to go."

"Thanks..." Marchesa says, the tone of her voice and the smile on her face both extremely warm and genuine. My heart skips a beat in my chest as she smiles, and I'm suddenly overcome with a whole flight of overwhelming feelings. That, and I become hyper aware that I'm holding her hand.

"Hey, no problem! I've already been to the place anyway, so it's not even going to be all that awkward." I laugh as I clear my throat as I remove my hand to pick up another Pop Tart.

"I can't make any promises about Tibalt saying anything to make it that way, though." Marchesa chuckles, also slowly shrinking away, disguising her escape as a stretch. "Let's finish breakfast, scrape burned pancake off this pan I ruined, and then we can go."

"Sounds good." I say before Marchesa suddenly leans in, hands reaching over my shoulders. I catch a whiff of her scent as she leans in close, and I stiffen up as I hear her unclasp the collar around my neck.

"Let's also remove this for now. I have a feeling it would make for a really awkward cab ride."

"Heh, right." I agree, running hands hands along the now bare-skin of my throat. My neck feels cold and exposed now, but I don't complain. "Thanks, Mistress."

* * *

 

Club Rakdos looks a lot different in the day-time. Without it's glowing red lights and without the crowd of people lined up outside, it sits almost awkwardly between the shops and galleries along the same street. It has the bonus of being set up in a nicer part of the city, but it's also this really obvious kink club right out in the open, among a bunch of really nice buildings. I feel weird just standing out front, out in the open, exposed to everyone walking passed.

"Come on, they've probably already started." Marchesa tells me as she takes me by the hand and guides me through the heavy, red doors.

The place is much quieter, and I can see tables and chairs put up and pushed off to the side, stored away and waiting for regular business hours to officially start. I can hear the faint sound of a small group of people talking and laughing, and in the large, empty building it echoes all the way to the entrance. The atmospheric red lighting has been shut off, replaced with the normal, fluorescent light that fills the entire space, leaving no booth or corner left unlit.

"It's almost like a totally different place." I chuckle to myself before Marchesa stops me.

"Hold on a second." She quickly says as she digs through her purse, and before I can ask her what in the world she's doing, out comes the collar she insisted I take off for the cab ride here.

"O-oh, you brought it!" I exclaim, unsure if I should feel all about wearing a collar- something I normally wore in intimate situations- in a public space.

"Sorry if it's a little too weird, I figured it would be fitting." Marchesa says with a shrug. "It's also really great short hand for 'Hi, I'm Marchesa's sub, so you don't have to ask and I don't have to tell you about the crazy, kinky sex we had last night'."

"Phht, well, it certainly does away with that weird part of the introductions." I laugh before tilting my head back and exposing my neck. "Go ahead then... Mistress."

"God, please just promise me you won't call me that in front of everyone." She groans as she wraps the collar around my neck. "This isn't a kinky game, this is just a bunch of friends and like-minded people learning how to tie proper knots. You have my permission to just call me by my name, if you really feel like you need it."

"Don't worry, the embarrassment would probably kill me, too." I assure her as she fastens the clasps and pulls away. "Is the safeword still 'Rose' though?"

" _Shut up_." She snickers as the two of us round the corner, and a small group of people gathered in a circle near the stage comes in to view. Naturally, it's a bunch of people I don't recognize, some of them noticing we've joined them as they look up and over their shoulders to greet us. I spy one familiar face, Tibalt, whose standing in the center with his arms behind his back. I notice a coil of rope at his feet, guessing he's letting himself be used as practice for whoever is behind him- and I feel like my heart stops beating when I recognize the person behind him, too.

"Holy shit, _Selvala_ -!" I gasp, unable to stop myself, but throwing my hands feebly over my mouth anyway. I consider turning my tail and fleeing right out the doors we just walked through, collar on my neck and all, but before I can even take a step, Selvala hears me and looks up, immediately dropping the rope and totally forgetting the knot she was working on. Her jaw, just as well, drops.

" _Liliana_!?" She gasps.

"Liliana?" Tibalt questions as he looks up, his surprise hardly matching Selvala's but it's certainly up there. "Marchesa!?"

"T-Tibalt!? _Selvala!?_ " Marchesa shouts as well, pointing at both of them accusingly, like she's caught them doing something much worse than practicing ropework. "The girl you were talking about last night was _Selvala!?_ "

"And the girl you were talking about was _Liliana!?_ " Tibalt asks back, and I find myself, in the chaos of it all, hoping he doesn't expose my evening with Judith, not just to Marchesa but to the entire room and also _Selvala_!

"Liliana! What the _fuck_ are you doing here... with _Marchesa_... I thought you- _holy shit is that a collar!?_ " Salvala practically screams that last part and- yup, that's definitely a collar, right around my neck, for her to see. The collar Marchessa put around my neck. Yup, _that_ collar. _Fuck. Me!_

"I thought you said you weren't coming back here!" I shout, throwing my hands over my throat, making it appear like I'm trying to choke myself- which actually sounds like a pretty tempting exit strategy right now.

"She's been here every night since you came together!" Tibalt exposes her.

"Tibalt, oh my god, shut _up_!" Selvala cries.

" _Holy shit..._ " Marchesa mutters, shaking her head as she clutches it.

"I was really looking forward to a nice, friendly round of introduction but... looks like you already know each other..." Tibalt chuckles nervously. "Small world, huh?"

"Guess we all owe each other a little explanation..." I mutter, hands still feebly hiding my collar.

"...Seems we do..." Selvala nods awkwardly, looking like she's holding herself back from running away.

"Can this possibly wait until after we're done here?" Tibalt asked, looking back at everyone else in the room not associated with our outburst apologetically- although a lot of them seem absolutely captivated by the dramatic explosion that's broken out on the dance floor. "I'd call things off for today but... _heh_ , my hands are tied."

A chuckle echoes from the group, both genuine and forced. Seems like the most awkward afternoon of my life is just beginning, and it's started with puns.


	8. Tried on for Size

**Liliana**

Tibalt leads a pretty informative class. Maybe it's the charisma, or maybe it's years-worth of experience I don't know the history behind, but he's able to hold an engaging lecture- at least, that's what I can tell the few times I've glanced over at everyone else in the room. Everybody seems incredibly interested in what he has to say and have forgotten all about the figurative explosion that blew through the moment Marchesa and I walked through the doors. Everyone, that is, except for me. I truly wish I could pay attention to Tibalt's lecture- at this point I can't even pay attention to the kinds of rope he's brought out. All of my senses are, instead, focused on the woman beside me who, up until today, thought she knew me as well as a person possibly could, and her eyes that are practically burning holes right into my skin she's staring at me so hard.

Selvala couldn't care less about Tibalt's class anymore. Whatever he has to say pales in comparison to what in the world I'm doing here, collar around my neck and Marchesa at my side. And, honestly, I'm just as wildly shocked and curious what _she's_ doing here, practicing knots like a kinky little girl scout, but I'm not as inclined to stare back at her. I'm honestly jealous of Marchesa who is, undoubtedly, just as uncomfortable as me but seems to be engaged in the class instead of Selvala's stare intense enough to stun a horse. _Well, slap a saddle on me and call me Seabiscuit because I feel absolutely petrified._

"Selvala, oh my god-" I whisper, eyes facing forward, but I hear her scoot closer to me the second I finally acknowledge her _very_ pronounced presence.

"So when were you planning on telling me you were getting kinky with our boss?" She asks in an equally quiet tone, but she might as well have yelled it for the entire room to hear, and I'm unable to restrain myself from shushing her as my face grows warm. Selvala, much to my displeasure, continues undeterred. "I could have sworn you said not too long ago that you kind of _hated_ her."

"Yeah, I know-" I'm honestly impressed she allows me to get out three whole words before she leans in hard again, questioning me like she's interrogating me for a serious crime. Then again, daring to keep anything from Selvala might as well be a crime to her. Not trusting her with my secrets is an offense punishable by death- and boy, does it feel like I'm going to die as she continues.

"So what exactly is going on here? Was it all a front to keep us from catching on to your secret kinky sex life?" She questions in a hushed tone, which is impressive because- from the corner of my eye anyway- it looks like she wants to yell every word that's come out of her mouth.

"No it's- look, this is all a really new development, not to mention a long story. I wasn't lying when I talked about her before it's just..." I pause, internally panicking while I unconsciously loop my finger through the silver ring of my collar. "Things have been moving and changing really fast..."

" _Clearly_ -"

"And let's not pretend I'm the only one who was keeping secrets here, _I'm_ not the one tying up the owner of the club she said she wasn't going back to." Finding an opening, I take my chance to try and back Selvala into a corner, mostly just to show her how it feels to be put on blast. The look of surprise in her eyes as I finally find the strength to turn and face her is honestly priceless, like seeing a skilled, practiced fighter finally get caught off guard. "What's going on with that? Certainly something I'd like to know, if we're going to be shaming people for keeping kinky secrets."

"Hey, I'm not the one getting chained up and whipped by our boss." She hisses, a red hue just barely making an appearance on her cheeks.

"No, but maybe you want to do the same to the boss of a totally different establishment." I smirk, cocking an eyebrow.

"I-It's not like... I-I mean, the guy's attractive, but-" A stammer from Selvala- a small victory for me!

"I bet you think he'd look a lot more attractive on his knees and calling you Mistress-" A sneer before the sound of someone clearing their throat cuts me off. Both of us jump in our seats, suddenly remembering where we are and how we're _definitely_ not alone. The group, who before had been contentedly listening to Tibalt, has all eyes on us now- including the lecturer himself, who has his arms crossed like he's irritated but a smirk on his lips like he's amused. The foot tap gives away he's more of the former than the latter, though.

"That's quite the conversation we're having ladies- my ears are absolutely _burning_." He speaks, and suddenly I feel like I'm back in school, getting caught passing notes in class. "Not to say I doubt I'm an absolute treat to have bound and at someone's mercy, but maybe we can have this conversation another time?" A couple of people chuckle in response, but it's enough to make me want to lie down and die right there on the dance floor of the club. And, judging by Selvala's expression, the potential body count in this place is going to pile up.

"We just... know each other... from work." She explains, and I realize that we never actually gave anyone any context to our shouting match from earlier.

"Clearly we don't know each other enough..." I add with a weak eye roll, trying to play off my massive unease with sarcasm.

"Well, this is certainly a good opportunity for you _both_ then." Tibalt mentions, earning our full attention as both Selvala and I turn our full attention to him and his more than eager smirk. A murmur drifts through the group, as if they already know what Tibalt is going to say before he says it- and they're all in agreement over whatever it's going to be. "Selvala, you already got a bit of practice on me before- and up until _recently_ you were paying pretty close attention. Why don't the both of you help out with my demonstration?"

"Wait, wait, _wait_!" I gasp. "Are you saying you want Selvala to tie me up!?"

"In a ropework class where hands-on experience is key, yes, that's _exactly_ what I'm saying." Tibalt laughs. "Of course, you're more than welcome to decline, but it seems there's a lot of tension between you two that probably isn't going to resolve itself by just letting you two sit there and whisper. And I don't have to talk over the both of you having your own little conversation, so it's a win-win all around."

Nervously, I turn to Marchesa, who has somehow managed to come out of all of this a lot less humiliated. She gives me a quick side eye, noticing my stare, before giving me a gentle smirk and a shrug- both of which are hardly reassuring in this situation.

"What, are you looking for me to give you permission?" She asks with a snort. I open my mouth to answer, but not a sound escapes me lips. I was honestly looking for her to provide me with some sort of aid, but instead she might as well be pushing me even further into the deep end all the while casually telling me to swim. With a laugh she reaches out, tucking a finger under my collar and pulling me just close enough to where I'm forced to lean out of my seat. "Am I hearing a 'yes, Mistress'? A 'no, ma'am'?"

 _Ah_ , so this is the difference in power between me and her. While I'm here, struggling to keep my head above water, Marchesa swims through the chaos with ease. The relative shock of running into a colleague at a ropework class at a BDSM club may have rocked her a little, but she seems to have regained her footing without much trouble, and now she's even found the high ground. Maybe she's just as panicked as embarrassed as me, but on the outside it doesn't show- not even the faintest blush on her cheeks. She boldly pulls me a little closer, our eager audience watching us with anticipation, like we're performing just for them, a domineering smile on her lips. And, at the same time, her eyes are cast over my shoulder- over to Selvala who I can't even imagine how she's reacting to such a display.

'I hold all the cards in this situation,' her gaze seems to say all without actually saying a word. Selvala certainly knows a lot about Marchesa now, but Marchesa knows just enough about Selvala to where this particularly juicy piece of gossip could wind up being poisonous. 'I'm not afraid of you knowing. I'm not worried at all. You're hardly even a fart, let alone a threat.'

"I-... uh..." I stammer, words dissolving into mush, along with my brain.

"It'll be pretty interesting, watching you get tied up from a different perspective. Just as long as you remember who put that collar on you." She says with a grin. She's in full domme mode now, and meanwhile I'm drifting somewhere between "deer caught in the headlights of a truck" and "bumbling moron". I want to match her same, fearless, shameless energy- mostly to save face, and maybe a little somewhat to keep my Mistress from looking bad. We're a team after all, two actors in the same, kinky play. I just don't have all my lines memorized, and they come out of my mouth clumsily and ill-practiced at first.

"I... I would never, Mistress." I say nervously with a slight nod, unable to ignore just how hot this all has suddenly become. It's a shame we're in public, among strangers and people who I _wish_ were strangers, and not back at Marchesa's place. The look in her eyes and the grin on her lips is enough to get me going- if only a little bit.

Of course, as I turn around and come face to face with Selvala, her mouth agape like she's witnessed a violent car accident, sex is the last thing on my mind. She looks like she wants to say something, but she's choking on her words. I desperately try to latch onto even an ounce of the confidence Marchesa has and was giving me before, hardly coming away with scraps. Instead of playing the part of obedient sub, I immediately revert back to awkward, spooked co-worker as I give her an uncomfortable smirk and a nervous shrug.

"...Well?"

"What the fuck even _are_ you?" She asks me this, like I've suddenly morphed into a horrific, eldritch horror before her very eyes. I falter a bit, desperately wracking my brain for something- anything to say in response. Everyone is waiting, all eyes are on us, and any wrong move or word could make this awkward as hell and ruin everything. I honestly wasn't expecting this kind of pressure when Marchesa invited me to a ropework class at a BDSM club- the bite of ropes, maybe, but not the painful sting of humiliation (and not the kind I would ask for).

"I think that's something for you to find out at this point." I quickly come up with, impressing myself a little bit that I didn't wind up saying something totally incomprehensible. I stand up from my chair, getting to drink in the briefest of moments where Seleva is looking up at me, baffled and confused- a rare moment, and one I'm going to remember for a while, but maybe not the best for the situation. Given what we're about to do, this seems a little backwards. I'm not used to taking the lead like this, and I'm sure there's something about the way I hold myself or the way I speak that throws things off just a little bit. "These sorts of things... they're a little more hands on, like Tibalt said."

"And now Tibalt is saying to hurry things up. This should be the last demonstration we have time for, so let's make it a good one." Tibalt calls over my shoulder, and Selvala quietly groans. I can see her as she grips the seat of her chair in her hands, as if she's holding her entire self back from standing up and taking this rather awkward plunge. The subtle bite of her lip, the quick side glance... but there's a slight eagerness in the way she sits. The way she holds herself, straightening her back and planting her feet solidly on the ground, are quiet, tiny indicators that she doesn't completely _not_ want to do this.

"Don't worry, I won't bite." A snort. "Unless, of course, you ask me to."

" _Oh my god_..." I hear her mutter under her breath. But, much to my satisfaction, she stands, the heels of her shoes clacking gently against the floor as she does so. We share a glance, and I force myself to keep from looking away. I would have honestly liked for the truth to come out a different way, if it had to at all, instead of getting absolutely blindsided. By the look in her eyes and the gentle blush on her cheeks, I can tell Selvala feels the same way. We both had our secrets, and now it's become our collective business, whether we like it or not. All that's left to do now is... get to know each other all over again, but this time not in business attire over coffee after a long, hard day at work.

"Just like we practiced, alright? And remember, the best way to avoid something like loss of circulation or a serious rope burn is communication." Tibalt explains as Selvala passes me, eyes fixed on the ground and then the long length of rope that Tibalt passes off to her. Selvala looks down at the long coil, looking like she's been burdened with an incredibly heavy responsibility. I stand back for a moment, letting her process the idea a little more- slip into the role that was still probably unfamiliar, like a new pair of shoes, still tight and stiff from being hardly worn.

"...Are you okay?" I finally ask, genuinely. These words don't come from Lili, putting on a show if only to save the face of my domme- these words are coming from Liliana, one of Selvala's only friends at the office, the friend who she trusts with every little piece of gossip, the friend who goes out for coffee with her almost every day of the week- her fellow, pissed-off bitch at work. This isn't something that should create a rift between us- if anything, it should be something that brings us a little bit closer together (figuratively as well as literally, if you count the ropes). This is just one more thing we just happen to know about each other. It's one less thing that's keeping us holding one another at a distance, just like when Jace told me about his boyfriend.

"I'm fine it's just... this is so weird?" The words come out of her mouth in a wavering manner, the shaking in her voice masked by a chuckle as she looks up from the ropes. "It's _weird_... isn't it?"

"Maybe from an outsider's perspective, but... at this point I don't think either of us are watching this from the outside." I say with a shrug as I draw closer. In an act of what I hope comes across as trust, I turn my back to her and hold my arms behind my back, casting a gaze over my shoulder. She gives me a look of surprise, but it hardly looks put-off in any way. There's a certain glint in her eyes as she looks down at my hands and at the rope in hers, perhaps the look of a potential domme coming out of her shell. "It's only weird if you make it weird."

Those words are just as much for me as they are for her. It wasn't weird when Marchesa tied me up in her office for the first time. It wasn't weird when Nissa and Chandra welcome me into their own little game. It wasn't weird when Judith brought me into the back of the club and bound me- and it occurs to me now that I'm two for two in getting tied up whenever I wind up at Club Rakdos. But it wasn't weird- none of this ever really occurred to me as being weird, I was just navigating through a whole new world, learning new things about the people around me as well as myself. This isn't different from any of those things. This is just learning something new and maybe something a little more intimate about Selvala, is all. This isn't weird- not to us... not to me.

"So eager to get tied up..." Her words came out as half sarcastic- half as the Selvala I know from work, the kind whose special brand of loathing is as hot and as black as her morning coffee. But there's something else that mingles in her words, and it's a tone I've grown to know very well. It's a tone that get's a small part of me that, yes, does in fact really want to get tied up, good and excited.

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." I chuckle as I turn my head and look forward. I keep my hands patiently behind me, resting my fate willingly in hers. It's only a few seconds, but the anticipation nearly turns me into a writhing mess before I feel her take me by the wrist. Her hands fidget uncomfortably at first, her fingers awkwardly wrapping around my skin as she adjusts her grip, but once she finally gains a little confidence I realize how large and warm they are. Now that she's no longer awkwardly figuring things out behind me, I feel oddly safe in her grasp as she takes my arm and guides it in an almost loving way so that I'm holding my hand up near my shoulder, and I allow her to.

I almost expect her to say something sarcastic or biting as she goes to work, but Selvala remains oddly quiet as she carefully works the rope around my wrist and arm. The room, itself, has dropped into a similar hush as they all watch, eyes on us as they wait to see what will come of this. It's honestly so quiet, you could hear a pin drop- or in my case, the quiet, soft noise of Selvala's breaths close behind me, warming my neck and tickling my ear. The slow speed in which she works the rope around me, pausing as she repeats steps she was probably given before in her head, seem to almost intentionally raise my growing feelings of anticipation. She goes to work on my second arm, and step by slow, careful step, I'm held completely at her mercy.

"Mmn..." Much to my own surprise, a small moan escapes my lips, filling the quiet dance hall with the small, satisfied noise. For a moment, I had forgotten just who it was holding me captive, and whose hands were running over me and tying me up. For a moment, the last person I would have ever expected was leading me into the space I never thought she would.

"Sorry, did I do something wrong?" Selvala asks, sounding like she's half trying to ask like she's some sort of confident domme, and half like she's asking as a concerned friend who probably hasn't heard that many women moan in her presence before. _I'm guessing._

"N-no, you're fine." I assure her, coming out of my own haze to assure her. "Trust me... you're doing fine."

"I guess I should take you're word for it- you're the expert on getting tied up here." I hear her mutter as she goes about slowly finishing her knot. It's not too complex, not exactly ropework that would require a lot of artistry, but she's managed it pretty well from what I can tell as I playfully fight against the ropes and feel it bite into my skin slightly.

"I wouldn't say expert, but..." I mention before I feel her reach around and gently grasp my chin- and all of a sudden my words dry up and turn to nothing but a slight gasp in my mouth. The nervous twitching and anxious clumsiness are all gone as her fingertips caress my jaw, silencing me with a touch. Long gone is the Selvala who blushed at the concept of being called out for being caught at a BDSM club. This Selvala, for all intents and purposes, _belongs_ here.

"Enough talking." She says, her voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down my spine. "And get on your knees."

"...What do you plan on doing to me if I don't?" I dare to ask, unable to resist a smirk from tugging at my lips.

"Then... I'll be forced to do a lot more than just tie you up." She says, gripping my chin just a little bit harder. She's leaning in much, much closer now, and I swear I can feel her lips graze my ear. "Now... get on your knees and lick my boots."

I want to make a comment that she actually isn't wearing any boots at all, but I feel that would throw off the vibe. There are words she's pressing from me, and they aren't jokes or sarcastic quips. No, what she wants are two, small words from me in response- two words that are on the tip of my tongue that flow into my mouth almost naturally. Perhaps I've been conditioned just a little too well, perhaps this scenario playing out before everyone here sitting transfixed on the dance floor is a lot more hot than I expected. Perhaps... it's time to give her exactly what she wants. I lean back slightly, the top of my head brushing against her cheek as I whisper,

"Yes, Mistress."

Those words come out of my mouth like a moan and lift every ounce of tension that had built up between us. There, in front of everyone, with my hands bound and Selvala's hands caressing me, there's nothing left to stop either of us from breaking character and cracking the fuck up. The club that had once been dead quiet is filled with our laughter- and at the same time, I'm filled to the brim with relief.

** Marchesa **

"So, wait, let me get this straight, you go wandering around her place and accidentally walk into her sex room!?"

Selvala hasn't stopped laughing since we left the club. Even now her shoulders are shaking and her lips are drawn up in a hysterical grin as she cackles, recounting the tale Liliana has been telling her at twice the volume she had heard it in the middle of a nice cafe on the nicer side of town. I'm relieved she's gone from treating all this as something horrible and awkward to something worth having a laugh at, but I really do wish she would get a kick out of the origins of mine and Liliana's current relationship at a lower volume.

"It's not like she keeps it hidden- the door wasn't even locked! I was drunk off my ass and I stumbled into it looking for the bathroom!" Liliana seems to mimic Selvala's wind energy over this whole thing, and it's unsurprising, seeing the two of them interact in a casual setting, that the two of them are friends. Maybe a little closer now, after today, after what the two of them have been through. The way Liliana smiles and laughs with Selvala is... different from how she is with me. She's more than comfortable to reach out and grab her shoulder, laugh out loud, taunt and playfully shove with Selvala than she is with me...

Oh, god, what strange, backwards world have I wandered into where I'm actually getting jealous of Selvala, the "biggest bitch in the office" by some accounts (ie: probably a lot of guys she mercilessly shot down). Before she was hardly anything but a face in the office and a name in Liliana's gossip, but now... I withhold a heavy sigh as I try to ignore them both and drink my coffee.

"And when I confronted her about it... I sort of expressed interest in the whole thing and she..." Liliana's tone grows soft as she lowers the volume of her voice. I watch as her fingers quickly dance across her neck, where her collar that is now sitting buried in my purse once was as she casts an affectionate glance downward. She laughs nervously before Selvala's gasp overpowers the conversation and chases away the expression of adoration that Liliana was wearing before. Now all that's left is a blush and a frown.

"Holy shit, is this the day you ghosted me and Jace!? You were busy getting it on with our boss in her office!?" Selvala gasps

"Wait, hold on, what's the time line of all this- was this the night I called you about-" Tibalt begins to say.

"Yes, it was." I interrupt Tibalt, getting reminded that he also came along as I quickly keep him from bringing up _her_ in this already messy conversation. The last thing I want is to have my past relationship come out over coffee in front of Selvala, the absolute queen of office gossip- and also Liliana, who I'm in _some_ kind of relationship with- it doesn't have a name, but I'm pretty sure it's valid to be able to call it a "relationship" after I've fucked her.

"Well, that certainly puts a whole new perspective on things." Tibalt says thoughtfully, slightly under his breath as he takes a sip of his own coffee. He gives me a knowing look but not much else while Liliana and Selvala continue on, their conversation thankfully shifting into hushed tones. I can only really imagine what exactly their talking about, but judging by the surprised, wide-eyed looks that Selvala keeps throwing my way I'd say my imagination isn't too far off.

"This is just... _so_ fucking wild. Like, this is for sure not just one big prank, right?" Selvala asks. "Is this a dream- am I dreaming? I'd ask you to pinch me, but I don't know if you're into that."

"Selvala, oh my god..." Liliana mutters. "Trust me, I wouldn't put this much effort into fucking with you."

"No, you're too busy fucking someone else." Selvala teases, and Liliana nearly spits up the coffee she's sipping on. I expect Liliana to grow tense in response to her jabs, but she only relaxes into more laughter, her original nervousness over Selvala knowing all this replaced with ease and smiles. Meanwhile I feel like I can't sit up straight enough or even enjoy my outrageously expensive coffee. It's jealousy and I know it, clinging to me and dragging me down while Liliana and Selvala hyuck it up about the life we had, up until now, kept a secret. Now it was gossip to share in hushed tones and through grinning lips, no longer something intimate only the two of us shared.

"You don't have to tell her everything, you know." The words slip out of my mouth, harsher than I mean them to be, and it slices through their pleasant conversation like a knife. It surprises even me as Liliana sits up and Selvala clears her throat.

"S-sorry." Liliana says with an apologetic shrug. "It's just... really nice to be able to share these things with someone else- up until now it's just been one, big secret I had to hide from everyone. I guess I lifted the floodgates a little too high."

"That's how it is when you find a community of people who share your interests, though." Tibalt interjects. "I mean, don't get me wrong, this little chat is getting a little too spicy for afternoon coffee, but there's really no blaming you for wanting to share with people who might understand." Much to my surprise, Tibalt gives me a wayward side eye. "That's what a community is for, after all."

"I know that..." I sigh under my breath. I _do_ know that. To be able to share common experiences with other people has always been freeing- I remember how Judith would go on and on about all of our escapades whenever we hung out at Club Rakdos, with such a wide, satisfied smile on her face and her fingers playing with her collar. I remember being caught up in this exact sort of situation before, time and again... and never feeling all that comfortable with it. I like to keep things private- between me and my partner. Being an open book about what I get up to in my private time has never really been my style. Using my most intimate escapades as bragging rights and gossip always felt like I was giving away parts of myself I wanted to keep just for me.

"Hey, are you alright?" Liliana asks, and I realize now that I might be making some kind of face. She reaches out and rests a gentle hand on my knee- unlike with Selvala, where her hand clamped down on her shoulder as they laughed. It's different, it's supposed to be, and yet something still throws me off about it.

"I'm fine, I just... it's been a really big day. I wasn't expecting to run into anyone from the office at Club Rakdos of all places." I try to explain, even though to me, as I speak, it feels way too much like an excuse.

"It's a small, kinky world." Selvala chuckles. "I came to learn a little bit, but I guess even I can admit I've had more than my fill for one day."

"Yeah, I should really be getting back to the club to get ready for tonight." Tibalt mentions, the first of our group to start getting to his feet and collecting his things. "I'm sure you'll all have plenty of time to chat it up back at work tomorrow."

"I don't know if anything we'd have to say is very work place appropriate- too many men with no grasp of privacy." Selvala smirks as she, too, starts to stand. "That and I haven't done nearly half of the things Liliana has, in comparison I'm sure I'm pretty boring to talk to about this kind of stuff."

"Well, then maybe what you need is experience." Tibalt brings up jokingly.

"Is that a proposition- aren't we being a little too unprofessional?" Selvala snorts, a grin on her face that's half sarcastic and half like she's actually considering. She playfully pokes him in the shoulder, and I can see him straighten up just a bit in the corner of my eye.

"Trust me, nothing is too unprofessional for me at this point." Tibalt laughs- a low, cautious chuckle as he navigates around trying very, very hard not to come on too strong to her. It seems to fly right over Selvala's pretty little head, but I notice it. Poor guy is caught between wanting to be her friend, ushering her into the dark with a kind and careful hand and wanting her to dom the shit out of him. I don't even know if Selvala would make a confident domme, all I know is that she has a decent grasp on ropework and dissolves into inconsolable laughter from being called "mistress". I'm not about to question Tibalt's tastes, though, he can subtly creep on whoever he wants.

"I guess we should get going, too." Liliana pipes up, and I feel my heart sink as I look over to her, noticing the downtrodden look in her eyes, and all at once I'm full of guilt on top of everything else. I'm jealous we aren't on as friendly terms as her and Selvala are, I'm uncomfortable that she's so ready and willing to share every little thing we've done with the first person she can... and now I feel awful for feeling any of those things at all. "It was... nice seeing you, Selvala."

"I think the words you're looking for are 'thank you, Mistress, for tying me up'." Selvala retorts, drawing out a small chuckle from Liliana, who covers her mouth as she laughs.

"You're not going to get me to say that, not in a million years."

"Such an ungrateful sub- your mistress will have to punish you!" Selvala says these things without even an ounce of finesse, goofy smile on her lips and words falling out of her mouth all wrong, like she's telling an awkward joke. She's saying them as a harmless joke, but I can't help but feel I'm being mocked as I stand to my feet. I want to come away from all this at least feeling like I'm not the butt of some dumb joke.

"Let me let you in on a little secret, since you like those things so much..." I start to say, taking a few steps toward Selvala who stiffens up in attention, like we're back at the office and I'm about to lecture her on her work ethic and make her re-do the work she's done. There's a lot of cold words I had at the ready, turning my tongue to ice in my mouth, but as I catch each individual person's gaze- Selvala's discomfort, Tibalt's worry and Liliana's apologetic stare- those words dry up and leave me with nothing but an awkward silence hanging between us.

"...Tibalt's ears are sensitive as hell." My recovery is a little sloppy, but by how Selvala's shoulders relax I feel like I at least stuck my landing well enough.

"Marchesa, _what the hell_!?" Tibalt gasps- I don't have to look at him to know he's probably blushing a deep, deep red. I can feel the temperature in the room rise from here.

"Do what you want with that information." I say teasingly as I start to take my leave. I hear Liliana stand up and bid them both a quick farewell, her footsteps a half-step behind mind as she catches up. I expect her to say something once she joins me at my side, but she's surprisingly quiet as we leave the cafe. We stand on the sidewalk, looking out at the street, having almost nothing to say to one another now that we're finally alone, now that everything that happened this afternoon is behind us. Everything that happened this weekend is behind us, and now with the afternoon starting to slip into evening I can feel it coming to an end.

_I'm not sure how I wanted things to end after all this, but something deep inside me is whispering that this isn't it._

"...Hey..." Liliana speaks up as I feel her reach out and take my hand. I restrain myself from jumping in surprise as I look to her, watching as her fingers trace around the familiar space around her neck. Her gaze flicks over to me and then back towards the street several times as she fumbles with what to say. I'm not a mind reader, I can't quite predict what she's going to say, not in this sort of setting anyway where we aren't playing off familiar rolls, saying lines we're almost expected to say between heated moans, but I feel a strange feeling of excitement rise between us.

"...Yeah?" I finally ask, attempting to draw the words out of her. My heart suddenly starts to pound, anticipation starting to rise as she looks back to me once more, this time holding my gaze.

"...We... don't have to go our separate ways just yet, do we?" She asks. "I don't know if you have plans but... I mean, I cleared out my whole weekend, so my evening is still wide open."

"Is that a proposition?" I ask, parroting Seleva's words in a much deeper, quieter tone, and I catch Liliana shiver a bit as she adjusts her grip.

"... My apartment isn't that far from here." She mentions. "I can't say it's as well equipped as your place, but it's closer..."

"Too impatient to sit through another taxi ride, huh?" I ask teasingly as I take a step closer to her, our elbows brushing up against one another as I lean in to whisper. "So eager to start another one of our games- it's a very good look on you, if I do say so myself."

"Y-you wouldn't mind?" She asks, stammering before biting her lip.

"We'd have to make a little stop first, but I don't mind at all." I smile, a feeling of comfort finally washing over me after what feels like a long, awkward eternity. For now, I don't have to struggle with these feelings brewing inside my chest- I don't have to face down issues that I had even when I was with Judith. For now, everything is washed away by a rush of anticipation and heat. All I have to worry about now is my role- not my feelings for Liliana, or my jealousy, or my inability to open up to other people. All I have to care about is Lili.

** Selvala **

I could honestly be back at home right now. I had left overs waiting in the fridge I had to get rid of, and emails I had to sift through- I'm pretty sure I had enough time where I could actually prepare for that meeting I know we're having tomorrow, instead of throwing all my things together last minute like I usually do. I had a very boring evening planned, like a responsible adult who didn't spend her afternoon sneaking off to a BDSM club to tie up her friend from work. I was ready to do all of this- not exactly excited, but I was more or less ready to let my weekend come to a mundane and typical end.

_But then Tibalt happened._

He hardly had to start offering me any kind of alternative and I was ready to accept whatever it was he had to offer. And what he had to offer was just letting me hang around the club while he got things situated for tonight- clearing away tables, sweeping floors, making sure everything behind the bar was in order, just a bunch of busy work. But it wasn't an evening eating pizza that was a day away from being prime real estate for mold and sorting through a bunch of boring emails, so I told him yes before he'd even finished his sentence.

It didn't take me very long to notice I was getting in the way more than helping, though. So, instead of tipping over tables and dropping chairs, I sit at the bar patiently while Tibalt and a few other employees that have started to trickle in do their busy work without me getting in the way. My presence here is more than pointless, but I can't bring myself to hop off my stool and call out that I'm leaving. I remain at the bar, just a pretty little accessory sitting around uselessly as I watch Tibalt go about his business.

Tibalt's a strange beast in my life, even though he's hardly been in it for a week and only been really intimately involved in it for a couple of days. He's a lot more flirtatious than the men back at the office, who approach you in their suits all official-like while they proposition you for a boring night of wine and bragging about their accomplishments. He's a lot more forward, maybe even a little more crass, but it amazingly doesn't annoy me. By all accounts I should despise him, with how nosy he is and how every word that comes out of his mouth sounds like he's trying to woo me (even when it's "Selveva, please, holy shit, lift up the table, you rested it on my foot!"), but there's just something about him...

I try to think of this from a different perspective- from the angle of this whole new world I've somehow tripped and stumbled my way into. A world of ropes and chains, masters and mistresses, so far departed from my world made up of nothing but cubicles, suits, the buzz of florescent lights and way too much black coffee. Back there, where I'm so used to being, I'd probably hate people like Tibalt. I probably know people like Tibalt and turned all of them down. But this a different environment, where flirting isn't just having to listen to a guy talk about how much money he makes every quarter and sex isn't just lying down, spreading your legs and waiting for it all to be over. The power dynamics are different, everything here is upside down and topsy-turvy and it... intrigues me.

_Tibalt intrigues me._

"Sorry, this is probably all really boring for you." I turn, realizing the very man is now lingering behind the bar, sliding me a glass of water while he knocks back one of his own. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing arms covered in tattoos and his hair is brushed out of his face, which at least for all the times we've been around each other is rare.

"Well it's either sitting around here or sitting around at home- and I like the change of scenery." I explain, taking a small sip of my water. "I'm just sorry I'm not that big of a help. I guess being able to type almost 100 words a minute doesn't exactly help out with building muscle."

"It's fine, I don't think any of my toes are broken." He chuckles. "And it wouldn't be the first time I was caught limping around at work, if you catch my drift."

"Should I be surprised that you're the type of guy to get it on before work?" I ask him with a snort. "You're really something else..."

"Well, not so much lately, I'm in the middle of a crazy dry spell, so you could say I've been handling myself quite professionally, lately." Tibalt admits. "Not that you need to know anything about that- I really doubt you came here to listen to me talk about how I've been way too busy to be an active participant in... all this." He makes a wide sweeping motion with his hand. "Sometimes if feels like I signed up as a monk and took an oath of celibacy without even really noticing it."

"Trust me, with those clothes and that hair, I doubt they'd even let you into a monastery." I joke before taking a long, thoughtful sip of water. "But... you know, speaking of 'all this'...I still don't really quite know where I fit in to all of it. I mean, I know my experience starts and stops at learning how to tie people up but listening to Liliana talk about what her and Marchesa did just gets me thinking. I know what I want, or, at least, I think I do..." I pause and look over my shoulder at Tibalt, who seems to be listening very intently. "It might be asking for too much too soon, I just want to know how it feels. I want to know that, if I really, truly take the plunge into all of this that I won't regret my decision."

"Well we certainly wouldn't want that- I wouldn't anyway, since I'm the one who sort of brought you to the edge in the first place. It would honestly be a real shame if this is all just a fluke..." He pauses a bit, eyes drifting down to his perspiring drink he holds clutched his hand. "I-I mean, a shame for you, of course. After all, you already wasted enough time around here as it is- a lot of wasted evenings for something that might not even be your thing."

"Trust me, my evenings hardly ever have anything going on for them to even be wasted doing anything in the first place." I roll my eyes. "You're not the only person going through a dry spell, trust me. Where I work isn't exactly crawling with eligible bachelors, you're more likely to find a bunch of pent-up married old men who think you're around just to brighten up the office."

"...You know, I have some time before we open..." Tibalt begins to mention.

"Huh?" I swivel around in my chair, giving him my undivided attention.

"Oh- no, never mind, it's nothing." He quickly retracts what he was saying. "Forget it, I just realized how creepy this might sound."

"You have my permission to creep away." I laugh, raising an eyebrow.

"I really don't want to force it-"

"Force _what_?"

"Well, we do have a lot of outfits for performances on hand in the back- a pretty fine collection, if I do say so myself, or at least my wallet does." Tibalt finally brings himself to mention, eyes on his drink as he runs a finger around the rim. "I just figured if... you wanted to know how all this feels to you, maybe you'd like to try something on for size- take this whole BDSM business for a little spin. It's just trying on outfits but it's as they say: if the tight, leather suit fits..."

"Hmm..." I mull over the offer in my head as a take another sip, crunching a few stray ice cubes between my teeth as I think. Part of me is curious how I'd even look, dressed up like that woman who I saw performing the second time I came slinking back to this club. I wonder if I'd be able to pull it off like she did, pulling off the dominant role with ease and finesse, as if the role was made for her and her alone. Or would I look like a lost little girl in a slutty Halloween costume out looking for attention?

"It's just an offer, you _can_ turn it down." Tibalt is quick to mention. "I just figured, since I have all these spare resources at my disposal and well... take this how you will but I think you'd honestly kill it dressed all in leather and straps. The look suits a lot of people, sure but I'm pretty positive you'd own it."

"I'm sure that's a lot, coming from someone like you." I laugh nervously, my insides tying themselves into knots. I've heard a lot of really dumb pick-up lines, most of them sounding like borderline dad jokes just with a horny coat of paint, but no one has ever really told me "you'd look really good dressed up like a domme". I work at an office where I get more intimate with a spread sheet and the lids of my cups of coffee than with actual people, there's not a lot of instances where I'd wind up getting hit with that particular number. And for all the awful, flirty come-ons I have heard that only leave me drier than a desert and rolling my eyes, something so simple as what Tibalt says get's me... oddly excited.

_God, I hope I don't look as much of a hopeless dork with a crush as I feel._

"...I guess it wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't want to- wait, _hold on_ , you actually _want to_!?" Tibalt gasps, looking much more surprised than I expected him to be. The way he's looking at me you would have thought I proposed to the guy instead of agreed to wear some fetish gear for funsies.

"Hell, what could it hurt? I have the time, and you have the spare outfits, we might as well make this happen." I say with a casual shrug. "This is a very brief window of opportunity, though, so let's hurry this up before I realize how embarrassing this all is and change my mind."

"R-right! Yeah, sure!" Tibalt suddenly springs to life as he practically runs around the bar to meet me. Much to my surprise he takes my hand- a move that surprises both of us as we both jerk back. He lets his hand fall awkwardly to his side while I rest mine against me chest- and holy _fuck_ is my heart beating hard. If this keeps up, they're going to have to wheel me out of here on a stretcher, and I'll wind up in the hospital where I'll be trying on a whole different kind of gown.

"Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine, just... lead the way." I brush his apology off, casting a side eye to the few people we're about to leave behind on the dance floor, hoping it doesn't look too suspicious what were doing: me, getting led into the back of the club by the owner. Thankfully, it seems to be a very busy evening and no one seems to mind or care so long as we're staying out of their way. I take a deep breath and try to keep from looking too strange anyway as I follow Tibalt around a corner as he leads us both out of sight.

"We keep all of our outfits for performances in here." Tibalt explains as he leads me to a room down the hall. Flipping on the lights he reveals a decent-sized storage room, one of the walls lined with dressers and a table set up along the opposite wall. He holds the door open, letting me walk in ahead of him to investigate myself. There's a few framed photos on the walls, mostly group photos of a bunch of people- some I recognize from my brief visits, but mostly of strangers who are probably regulars around here, maybe even some stage performers.

"I'll wait out here and leave you to it- I really doubt you need me in here to watch you change." Tibalt chuckles as he slowly starts to close the door.

"Naw, can't say that's something I'm into just yet." I smirk before he vanishes behind the door, leaving me to my own devices. I look over at my reflection in a full-body-length mirror mounted on the wall, dressed in jeans and a plain, old shirt. I hardly look the part of some confident domme dressed like this. I look like boring, old Selvala, just like always. I try to put on a more lofty, charismatic air, but it just looks like I'm trying and failing to pull off some sort of goofy pose.

_It's way too late to back out now. At least try something on- at least you'll have a good laugh, if anything._

I nervously look back at the door where Tibalt is no doubt waiting just outside, before sighing and walking over to one of the dressers and carefully, slowly open it. I'm met with initial feelings of confusion, a lot of these outfits coming in different parts, with all sorts of zippers ad straps and props that take them from looking sexy to looking campy. I don't think I should jump immediately into picking an outfit that includes animal ears, or something that looks like it was meant for some sort of over-the-top, sexy drama. I'm pretty sure if I walked out of here dressed up in one of these more campy things, Tibalt would probably laugh his damn ass off.

_I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing here, but I'm at least positive I didn't some here looking to be somebody's for of amusement._

I have to sort through two other dressers before I find something simple that doesn't look like it's trying to be anything other than sexy fetish gear. It's a simple, black leather top that has gloves built into the sleeves, a collar that would probably reach all the way up my neck and an opening in the chest that's designed to show off the most cleavage as possible. The bottom is just a simple, black thong and it could honestly go with any number of the pairs of boots that are tightly packed at the bottom o the dresser. I pull it out and hold it up to me, like I'm trying on something at the mall. I can't quite visualize myself in it, but it at least seems like it might fit.

"Please, just don't make me look like some sort of weird, kinky clown." I beg quietly, as if I'm casting a prayer up to the BDSM gods. I slip into the outfit, choosing to struggle with the zippers and straps myself instead of calling for Tibalt to help me. I feel it wouldn't be as simple as asking someone to just help zip up a dress, and honestly, I don't want to spoil the surprise- for both of us. I avoid looking at my reflection in the mirror the whole time, refusing to look to see if things look right even though they at least... feel right. The top hugs my body in just the right way, and makes my tits look amazing if I do say so myself. And, as I slip off my jeans and underwear and pull on the thong, I feel a twinge of excitement crawl up my spine.

As I finish lacing up the boots, I let my fingers slowly drift up my body, feeling every inch and curve as I stand upright. Taking a breath I turn my attention back to the mirror- and have to restrain myself from gasping. I look terrifying, but in the best of ways. All my worries and anxieties are chased away, leaving me with a new-found heat that I really don't know what to do with. I was expecting a lot of things, but I really wasn't expecting for all of this to make me horny. Drifting closer to the mirror, I allow my eager hands to travel downward.

"Hey, you need help in there?" I hear Tibalt call, his voice breaking me from my trance before I get the chance to start touching myself. I gasp, nearly tripping over my own two feet as I'm pulled back to reality, and even then I'm still caught in a haze. I turn to the door before my eyes catch sight of a riding crop that had fallen out of one of the dressers in my search. I can't help but smirk, rushing over to grab it before I hurry for the door.

"Oh, I'm fine." I finally respond as I open the door, and before Tibalt can even respond I flick the riding crop upward and nudge it right under his chin, forcing him to lift his head. He looks baffled at first, not having expected to be assaulted the second I opened the door, but once I open the door completely it's very clear he's going to make no moves to escape. "You're the one whose going to be needing help around here."

"I..."He stumbles over his words, eyes traveling up and down my body before locking eyes with me. He's trying very, very hard not to stare, and it's an effort that looks like it's on the verge of failing utterly. I break the spell only slightly as I snort and lower the riding crop, gaining some of my old self back that's probably resting in a heap with the rest of my clothes.

"Sorry, that probably sounded really campy, huh?" I ask him. "I'm not the best at improve, unfortunately."

"N-no it's... it's fine." Tibalt says dryly as I back up to give him room to come in with me instead of standing awkwardly at the door. He practically floats in, making very little secret I've gotten his attention, if nothing else. And as he drifts past me, I consider my options- it's a process that takes a lot more thought than it usually would, since a lot of my brain is dedicating itself to how turned on I am, much to my dismay. I wanted to know just how well I actually fit into this world- into the role. I wanted to know if this sort of thing would really suit me... but I hadn't thought past what would happen if it _did._

Biting my lip and making up my impossibly scrambled mind, I close the door and lock it.

"Hey, what are you-?" Tibalt begins to ask, realizing what I had done- not that I made a very big secret that I've locked the both of us in here.

"Sshh, I don't want anybody interrupting." I tell him as I turn around and reach out with my riding crop, brushing the leather strap along his cheek. "The last thing I want is for someone to walk in on us... I don't want to spoil the moment."

"Spoil the moment? What are you suggesting, exactly?" Tibalt asks a smirk on his lips. He wants to approach this very carefully- we both do- but we're also two people who haven't seen much action in a fair amount of time, _alone_ , with one of us dressed to domme. "Do you really want to do this? Once you go down this road, it's going to be hard to go back. I don't want you making any decisions you might regret later."

"I don't make decisions I regret, trust me." I say with a smile as I draw closer, taking my riding crop and running it between his legs and stopping at his crotch. Tibalt flinches as the tip presses against the bulge growing in his pants, biting his lip as he holds back a gasp. "I should be the one asking you. It's your club, after all, your fetish gear. I may be the one dressed up, ready to go, but you're the one who has the last say in the end."

"I mean, wouldn't it be weird, for you do start fooling around with the owner of a BDSM club you just started going to?" Tibalt asks, struggling to find words that would ground us and bring us back to reality. We're both hopelessly being pulled away from shore and into the rough, dark, yet-inviting waters, and this is his final reach for safety before he lets us both be swept away by the tide.

"Liliana is fucking our boss, at this point morals are out the window." I chuckle. "Even if it's just once... I'd feel a little more comfortable if it was with you than with some stranger."

"You realize I'm not much more of a stranger myself." Tibalt cocks an eyebrow, all the while we grow closer, hands resting on shoulders and hips as I lift my leg and rub it against the bulge growing in his pants.

"Not for long." I smirk before we lock lips, a small kiss growing hungry and needy almost immediately. I can't remember the last time I felt this way, so overcome by heat and longing- _fuck_ , I can't even remember much of anything. All I can focus on now is the taste of coffee of Tibalt's tongue and his dick now having gone rock hard between us. We twist and stumble until Tibat's back hits the wall, leaving him pinned with no chance of escape. And, I know I'm dressed the part, but we hardly have time on our side go go fetch ropes or blindfolds or whatever to make this all official. We're going to just have to deal with what we have- which is honestly very little if you don't count the dressers stuffed full of campy fetish outfits.

We pull apart to catch out breaths, panting desperately for air as I continue to rub my leg against his crotch, and with each time my knee presses against his hardened member he restrains moan after moan, keeping them deep in his throat and behind clenched teeth.

"Afraid to make any noise? I have the perfect way to cover that mouth of yours." Despite how much my brain is swimming, I'm still able to find just the right words to aid me in this situation. I press my riding crop that I'm surprised I haven't dropped by now under his chin, and for a moment he goes dead silent, awaiting my orders.

"Selva-"

"Uh-uh-uh, I may be new to all this but I'm pretty certain, in this case, the term would be..." I can't help but smile as I speak, each word making me feel more and more powerful. I can feel the shift in power, changing from us being the owner of the club and a simple patron to being an obedient dog and his- "Mistress."

"Mistress..." He repeats back breathlessly. It's such a simple word, but it leaves me feeling impossibly horny hearing him say it between heavy breaths. If there was a scrap of sanity left that was still in place to force this all to come to a stop, that single word has absolutely obliterated it from existance.

"Yes, that's it, now..." I grin as I lean in, pausing as my lips drift close to his ear. She probably imparted the information as a joke, but I remember what Marchesa had said back at the cafe and take her words to heart, leaning in to nibble on Tibat's earlobe. I hear a gasp and feel him shudder- a hushed, sharp "fuck"escaping his lips. "...Kneel."

I don't need to ask again as Tibalt quickly drops to his knees and hits me with a look so eager to please I have to actively fight against my natural reaction to swoon. Instead I reach down and slowly pull down my thong, freeing it from my hips and allowing it to drop loosely around my feet. Stepping out of them, I spread my legs just enough to give Tibalt access as I reach down and spread the lips of my pussy.

"Go ahead and put your mouth to good use, then." I tell him. "You can moan all you want while you're down there."

Tibalt dives right in, grabbing my thighs as he buries his face between my legs and against my crotch. His tongue roughly laps and slurps, each of his moans muffled by my thighs. He practically attacks me with his mouth, and even though I'm supposed to be the one in control, he shows me no mercy. I can even feel him nibble a bit as he licks and sucks, and now it's my tun to try not to moan as I hold myself up against the wall. With my mouth closed tight I grind against his mouth, choking back moans and gasps as I'm hit with wave after wave of pleasure. My knees start to buckle as my legs threaten to give out from under me, but I force myself to keep upright as Tibalt draws moan after moan out of me that are muffled by my lips.

" _F...fuck..._ " I gasp as I reach down and grab a handful of his hair and press his head again harder against my crotch. Tibalt doesn't let up as his tongue continues to give me a proper lashing. My legs are shaking now, feeling like nothing but gelatin holding me up the closer I grow to climax. "Tibalt..."

His name lingers on my lips as I come and I squeeze his head between my thighs. I press my body against the wall, desperately leaning against it to keep from completely toppling over and probably twisting my ankle in these boots. My breaths turn into desperate gasps as my orgasm shakes me to my core, leaving me breathless and fulfilled as I clutch the fist-full of Tibalt's hair in my hand. I can hardly tell, since it feels like my spirit left my body for a second, but I'm pretty sure I let out an impressive moan and I can only hope that no one else in the building heard, or else I'm going to have to do the walk of shame out of a BDSM club, which is something I never thought I'd wind up having to do in my life.

Although, honestly, a lot of this I never thought I was going to do in my life, either...

"Heh, was that to your liking, Mistress?" Tibalt asks once he's finally freed from the grip my thighs had on his head.

"Something tells me you've done this sort of thing before." I chuckle breathlessly.

"It's certainly not my first rodeo." Tibalt admits in a bragging tone as he licks his lips.

"Well remind me to thank the person who trained you so well- you get passing marks from me." I laugh as my eyes drift down, eyeing the still-present bulge between Tibalt's legs.

"You wouldn't happen to have a condom on you, would you?" I ask. "A performance like that definitely deserves some kind of reward."

"I'm not exactly that prepared..." Tibalt mutters, sounding a little disappointed. "Didn't exactly plan on getting busy in the back of the club this morning..."

"That's fine, that just means we'll have to switch to plan B, then." I smirk. "I hope you don't mind your reward being a little more... hands on."

"Not at all, Mistress."

** Liliana **

I thought people buying makeshift BDSM supplies from a hardware store was just a cliché they do in movies, but today is just proving to be full of surprises, I suppose. Marchesa handled the purchase of several lengths of rope and clothespins like a champ, and I'm sure the guy checking us out wouldn't have expected a thing if I hadn't also been there, looking like I was being found guilty of murder. Marchesa might not have caught the look him and several other employees gave us, but I sure did as I made a very strong, bold mental note never to even take a walk down the street the store is situated on. Next time, I'm going to plan ahead and have Marchesa bring her own things...

Next time... is there even going to be a next time? After this weekend, after this last, final game, where is that going to leave us? I don't know a lot of things, a lot of this is still up in the air, but I know I don't want this to end.

Uncertainties and worries are really only in the back of my mind now, however, as most of my focus is centered on Marchesa's fingers as the push deep inside me between my legs. Both of my hands are restrained, pulled up and held tight by ropes tied to either end of my headboard, while Marchesa sits naked behind me, her legs forcing mine apart. She reaches up to grasp one of the clothespins clamped onto my nipples and gives it a gentle twist, forcing a gasp from my lips as I squirm.

"M-Mistress!" I cry as she tugs on the clothespin as she continues to finger me.

"I let you get tied up by another person today, and had to stand aside while you called another woman 'Mistress'." She whispers into my ear. "Tonight, I'm going to help remind you just who your true mistress is."

"Y-you are, Mistress!" I gasp as she twists the clothespin again. A shiver runs up my spine as I lean my head back against her shoulder, each twist bringing a shock of both pain and pleasure. She's being a little more rougher than she was before, mixing in a lot more pain in with the pleasure and forcing me closer and closer to the edge all the more faster.

"You say that but I want to make you remember it. I want every last inch of your body to remember just who it is who owns you." She responds in a dark tone as she reaches up and tugs on my collar, the thrusting of her fingers growing faster and rougher as she rubs my clit with her thumb. "You're mine- all mine."

"I'm all yours, Mistress!" I moan back, thrusting my hips in time with each rough thrust of her fingers, intensifying each time she plunges them deep inside. Irreverent, moist noises come from between my legs with each thrust as I coat her fingers with my juices. "A-all yours!"

I arch my back, feeling myself growing close to climax as my words turn to desperate moans. But, almost as if she knows the very second before I'm about to come, Marchesa removes her fingers, leaving me grinding against nothing but empty air. I give a needy mewl, panting desperately as the release I had so desired is robbed from me. Fingers that had once been playing with me and driving me near to climax reach up and grab the other clothespin, and with both in each of her hands, she gives them both a twist a little rougher than before. My toes curl as I gasp, unable to hold myself back as I finally speak aloud the word I had only used once before.

"Ow, ow, Rose! Ow, shit!" I come crashing back to reality in the midst of our game, pain finally, after so long, outweighing pleasure. Perhaps I reacted a little too strongly, as Marchesa audibly gasps as her hands fly away from the clothespins so fast the force of them flying past my face blows my hair back a bit.

"Sorry!" She exclaims, quickly switching her position so that she's facing me. The dark, cruel mask of my Mistress has fallen away, even though I can't completely see it, I can hear it in her voice. She _knows_ she was being too rough. She _knows_ it was going to hurt, and the guilt in her words is proof enough.

"What the hell, Marchesa?" I ask harshly. "Are you _trying_ to rip my nipples off?"

"No, I... I guess I..." She stammers as a brief silence falls between us, the only noise left being her breathing and my panting that's growing softer and softer. Before she even finishes her sentence, she rests her head in my shoulder and heaves a sigh that sounds both incredibly tired and bothered. A nervous feeling grows in my stomach as I'm forced to be the one to speak up instead of her.

"...Was it something I did?"

"No!" Machesa gasps immediately, maybe a little too quickly. She says it so suddenly and insistently that I can't quite bring myself to be relieved. "I... It's me... I'm just..."

"...Do you want to talk about it... like in a normal setting, or would you rather I stay tied up for this?" I ask with a hint of sarcasm. "Because if we're about to have a heart-to-heart, I'd rather it be face to face with a little bit of dignity."

"Oh... right, here." Marchesa agrees as I feel her tug at the ropes to release my restraints, one by one. I pull my arms close, looking down at the red marks that wrap all the way around both of my wrists, wondering if I'll have to wear long sleeves again tomorrow to cover them up. Reaching up to remove each of the clothespins from my nipples a sigh in relief, rubbing both hard mounds that were teased so much they had become a deep shade of red. I can't quite pull away yet, though, with Marchesa going back to resting her head on my shoulder.

"Hey..."

"What would you call our relationship, Lili?" She asks me, her words slightly muffled by my shoulder.

"I..." I begin to speak before I realize I don't have an answer. Are we lovers? Friends with benefits? Just two ships in the night? I know what my heart _wants_ me to say- my heart that finds things and clings to them and makes them so, so important. However, I can't help but be afraid to say it, keeping the words buried deep in my heart where until now I was fine with having them be. "I'm... not sure... I mean, I like you, and this weekend has been amazing... More than amazing, actually."

"What about outside of that?" She asks in an urgent tone, slowly lifting her head from my shoulder as she speaks. Her words seem to grow more and more intense with each second, the intensity of them sounding like it's even getting away from _her._ "What about outside this week- outside this room? We can't keep putting this off... _I_ can't keep putting this off! I've been hurt enough times already, I can't be comfortable not having a definite concrete answer. I need to know... I _need_ to..."

She hits me with a desperate look, and it's like we're back in the elevator back at work all of a sudden. Every ounce of my cool, domineering Mistress is stripped away and lying dead around her as she drives into me a look of genuine emotion. It's a look that drills into my heart and makes me forget all about the sting still radiating from my nipples. I want to know what's fueling this desire to define our relationship... I want to know the reason for the look of what seems to be fear her gaze is twinged with. And, if I say the wrong thing here, chances are I'll never really know.

"Why... is that so important?" I ask, words tumbling clumsily out of my mouth after I acknowledged I needed to be careful. Perhaps I'm still coming down from the reeling high of being edged over and over and my brain is still trying to return to a solid state instead of sloshing inside my skull like useless mush. Marchesa turns away at this, teeth grazing her bottom lip as she bits it in a nervous manner. "...Why bring this up now?"

"It's just... the way you were able to joke and laugh around Selvala." She murmurs.

"What about Selvala? What does she have to do with anything?" I ask, unable to keep from frowning.

"I-I was jealous, alright?! After this weekend, when we both go back to work, you'll both be able to go back to being friends, even after what happened today. You're so natural and relaxed around her, but I feel like... when we're together, you have to keep acting like my sub. I don't want that... I don't want another relationship that hinges on these silly bedroom dynamics. I want to be able to laugh with you like you do with her... I want to be able to..." Marchesa's words are cut off by a dry sob that escapes her throat with a strangled, struggling noise. She flinches, seeming to retreat inside herself as she pulls her hands against her chest and hunches forward. Her eyes that had been so confident in the face of someone from the office finding out about her kinky secrets are suddenly full of nerves and doubt as she stares down at the sheets.

"...Marchesa?" I speak up, and a tiny shudder of acknowledgment flows through her entire body. "Are you... asking to be friends?"

"I don't want this weekend to be all that there is. I don't want you being my sub and me being your domme to be all that there is. I want to be able to speak to you at work like a regular person after tonight... and I want to go out with you and everyone for coffee, like you always do." She admits, her words half mumbled as she reaches up to nervously twirl her hair. She seems ashamed to be asking me something so simple, like she's never asked for someone to just be a friend to her. She, the person who buys improvised tools for kinky sex without batting an eye and the woman who has dominated me sexually nearly the entire weekend, treats asking if she can tag along for coffee like it's embarrassing and taking things too far.

 _I know this is honestly a serious situation, but_ fuck me _, I can't help but feel that Marchesa is undeniably adorable like this._

"You've asked a lot of wild things of me this weekend, and after all that you think I would shy away from having a more friendly relationship with you in the office?" I ask her with a smile that I feel is really more of a smirk. I can't help it- as a sub, I feel I need to take and to savor my little victories. I reach out and take her hand and pull it close to my chest, bowing my head enough so that my lips brush against her knuckles. "You know I could never say no to your requests, Mistress."

"Urgh..." Marchesa's lips are dawn into an awkward frown as she looks back at me in discomfort. At the very least she doesn't pull away, but I figure I should still reword myself.

"I-I mean Marchesa- or if you want, I can call you boss." I offer up jokingly to clear the air- before Marchesa throws her arms around me and practically mashes her lips against mine. I guess I must have said the right thing this time, given her response as she plants kiss after hungry kiss against my lips. I have no choice than to kiss her back with equal fervor, tongues brushing against teeth and teeth nibbling at lips.

We kiss in each others arms, without rope or blindfolds or any other kind of complex fetish gear. She moves downward, lips kissing my neck, then my breasts, than my stomach and all without having to beg for Mistress to pleasure me, her head is in between my legs and she licks me privates with a roughness and intensity that quickly leads me back to where she had been leading me with her fingers just previously. I reach down, tangling my fingers into her hair as I arch my back and grind against her lips. And, as my Mistress finally allows me the climax I had so desired, a thought drifts through my mind, dulling the waves of pleasure by a small degree:

There's something about simply being "friends" that leaves me feeling... unfulfilled.

 


End file.
